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Teens keeping secrets

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:02 PM
  • 7 Replies

My daughter is almost 16, her boyfreind of 9 months is almost 18.  I have a very open and honest relationship with both my daughter and her boyfriend.  They are both unique people who are struggling with some difficult issues around sexuality.  I know they are not having sex because I ask and I know they are being honest with me, however, yesterday after a long walk together, her boyfriend called me and asked me not to ask my daughter what they discussed.  I knew that he was going to have a real heart to heart talk about some tough issues that have recently come up, but his asking me to "not ask questions" was odd especially since I really wouldn't have thought much of this until he said something.  I brought up how odd this was to my daughter and she assured me that they are fine and then dropped the subject.  Obviously I think that they are talking about starting a sexual relationship which I wish they would not do, but if they are, I definately want to know about it.  Should I keep prying or let this go?  Both of the kids have been fully educated about birth control, where to get it and that I will make sure they have it, but do I just let them figure this out?  Seems like a bad idea.  Would you pry some more to find out what they talked about or drop this?

by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-7):
goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 25, 2014 at 3:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Let is go! Prying will just push them away.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 4:57 PM
2 moms liked this

yeah gotta agree with goddess let it go some, ... leave the door open but don't pry, it's kinda creepy to be so involved in their sexual relationship

celestegood
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:24 AM
I would leave that door open and make sure they know they can talk to you. I would just casually let them know you are there.
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LiamsMama61412
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 2:09 AM

It sounds like you have a great relationship with them. It also sounds like they are very smart, responsible and trustworthy kids. I would be proud. I would definitely let this go. Prying might make them feel that you dont trust them and could lead to them hiding or not being as open with you in the future. Sometimes people in a relationship have things (even just conversations) that need to stay between the two of them. I definitely would just let it be.

delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 8:51 PM

keep communication open...hope all works out....

teensrmyworld
by Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 9:32 PM

Update.  All is fine.  I spoke with the BF and since he and I are really close, he said he was sorry that I was worried, he only told me "not to ask questions" because he wanted to spare me any worry since their talk was not that big of a deal.  Life goes on

rae316
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:14 PM
It sounds like they are good kids with good heads on their shoulders. I wouldn't pry anymore. If they want to talk to you, they will.
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