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Past is the past...strong need to just LET IT GO!!

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:49 AM
  • 10 Replies

 Bringing up the past creating stress in our relationship...he works hard and not enough time spend with each other...communication is little..outside stresses and related to use creating stress.. yelling and cat fights. When we talk it is great..we talk about other things besides problems. He says I complain alot..guilty but not all the time. We are working toward a future but I have a problem bringing up the past issues of my past. We are happy..he is a wonderful person but sometimes we have this mountain of things we need to climb over to get to the other side. I am concerned because of some of his habits that he has and I voice it to him.. I found that this is a big mistake because it causes tension/disatance between us. I dont want that that. Any ways?advice coming from someone who is goin/has gone through similiar situations-I need ideas on how to work through some of this.  Thank You!! Hopefully this is enough to go on.. I will try to provide more info if needed. I just got done typing a detailed post but it disapeared before I hit send.

by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Apr. 3, 2014 at 10:06 AM

Hmm this sounds like some of the men I've been with/relationships before I found my dh. If you want an easy happy life, this doesn't sound like the path to get it. If you aren't married, please don't. If you are, maybe counselling would help.

SlightlyPerfect
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 10:36 AM



MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:17 PM

Maybe some counseling would help.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 4:09 PM

Would he go to counseling?

JuncoBird2325
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 10:16 PM

 

Quoting Janet:

Would he go to counseling?

 No, it isn't that bad. We talked a little today and tonight. I think things will work out.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 10:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I hope so hun.

Quoting JuncoBird2325:


Quoting Janet:

Would he go to counseling?

 No, it isn't that bad. We talked a little today and tonight. I think things will work out.


mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry but the last sentence made me chuckle because I myself have done that too many times to count. Getting back to your question though again....I've been there  and right now am kinda going through the same thing. My knee is injured or I'd take walks when stuff like that arises. Luckily I live in an old 2 story home and am an official empty nester this past year so one lg. room is kinda my office space/retreat. I have my computer,stereo,TV,bathroom and kitchen so there's no need to leave! LOL anyway that's what I do. Walk away sometimes when it get's really bad because I myself have been known to get loud and heated. Nothing gets resoved then I also repeat to myself as needed that "this too shall pass"hugs

JuncoBird2325
by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 1:35 PM

 

Quoting mamamiajk:

I'm sorry but the last sentence made me chuckle because I myself have done that too many times to count. Getting back to your question though again....I've been there  and right now am kinda going through the same thing. My knee is injured or I'd take walks when stuff like that arises. Luckily I live in an old 2 story home and am an official empty nester this past year so one lg. room is kinda my office space/retreat. I have my computer,stereo,TV,bathroom and kitchen so there's no need to leave! LOL anyway that's what I do. Walk away sometimes when it get's really bad because I myself have been known to get loud and heated. Nothing gets resoved then I also repeat to myself as needed that "this too shall pass"hugs

 Thanks..I have thought when it happens it will pass. We get along beautifully, joke like a comedy team-i will say one thing and he comes back with something funny-vice versa. I somewhat think in a relationship/marriage it is somewhat normal to just butt heads/cat fight/argue/disagree and that is sometimes the only moment when something is said and expressed..out in the open. True feelings have a chance to be understood and the problems can be worked out from there. He is my best friend..understands me more than anyone..he is hard working and is good to me and my son..accepts him as his own and my son has respect for him. I am lucky!! He is older than me, by more than 10 yrs but less than 20, and he is serious about his job and worktime. I have accepted that his work takes alot of time for us to be together because he is often working in his home office but he is working hard to provide for us.  

mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 6:24 PM

fingers crossed


Quoting JuncoBird2325:


Quoting mamamiajk:

I'm sorry but the last sentence made me chuckle because I myself have done that too many times to count. Getting back to your question though again....I've been there  and right now am kinda going through the same thing. My knee is injured or I'd take walks when stuff like that arises. Luckily I live in an old 2 story home and am an official empty nester this past year so one lg. room is kinda my office space/retreat. I have my computer,stereo,TV,bathroom and kitchen so there's no need to leave! LOL anyway that's what I do. Walk away sometimes when it get's really bad because I myself have been known to get loud and heated. Nothing gets resoved then I also repeat to myself as needed that "this too shall pass"hugs

 Thanks..I have thought when it happens it will pass. We get along beautifully, joke like a comedy team-i will say one thing and he comes back with something funny-vice versa. I somewhat think in a relationship/marriage it is somewhat normal to just butt heads/cat fight/argue/disagree and that is sometimes the only moment when something is said and expressed..out in the open. True feelings have a chance to be understood and the problems can be worked out from there. He is my best friend..understands me more than anyone..he is hard working and is good to me and my son..accepts him as his own and my son has respect for him. I am lucky!! He is older than me, by more than 10 yrs but less than 20, and he is serious about his job and worktime. I have accepted that his work takes alot of time for us to be together because he is often working in his home office but he is working hard to provide for us.  


ittybit

celestegood
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 7:59 AM
Counseling is a good help sometimes.
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