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Advice Needed!

Posted by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 5:55 AM
  • 97 Replies
1 mom liked this
Hello ladies,
Okay so I have been with my sons father for 2years & we have a 5montj old son. He is currently in Jail so I am at home with our son everyday. We go see him every week & talk almost everyday. He has been in there a whole year so he wasn't there through my pregnancy, the birth or anything really. I have waited for him this whole time faithfully. My dilemma is that he thinks because he has fines & things to pay off when he is home that it is okay to talk to other woman for money. But I'm not stupid you know. Idk how to tell him that it is not okay with me & that if he truly loved me he would go through the struggle with me. How do I tell him? I've been trying to tell him all the time but it's like he doesn't understand. I find it disrespectful that he wants yo do that. I have had 2 surgeries since I had our son & I've been sick ever since in & out of the hospital & still managing to take care of our son & handle business. I know I'm a good mom & girlfriend but is it wrong for me to feel like I am? Considering his thought process after being in there a year & some months. What should I do?
Please help
No Bashing please
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 5:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
celestegood
by Gold Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 7:08 AM
4 moms liked this
Wow. He needs to talk to someone. I would suggest a Chaplin. You can work on your marriage, and there is help within the prison system to help you. Call the prison and ask.
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goddess99
by Michelle on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:05 AM
23 moms liked this

Is he your dh or just a boyfriend? If you aren't married you should move on. Clearly he doesn't make the best choices. Sorry dear. Good luck!

splatz
by Sarah on Apr. 11, 2014 at 10:03 AM
2 moms liked this

Why would he be asking other women for money? How exactly is he planning on repaying them? I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. I would just be honest with him & tell him how you are feeling.

Mrs.Sanford1015
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 12:43 PM
To help him pay off his fines & & other things. That's why he needs the money. He doubts that I will be able to afford everything. Meaning the household, our son me & him...&That's the thing he said he doesn't do anything but I'm not dumb, he can't hold back if a woman throws it at him & they always do.... I am nit comfortable with it. I told him that but he doesn't understand

Quoting splatz:

Why would he be asking other women for money? How exactly is he planning on repaying them? I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. I would just be honest with him & tell him how you are feeling.

splatz
by Sarah on Apr. 11, 2014 at 12:58 PM
13 moms liked this

He needs to man up & take care of his own responsibilities & provide for his family. Not expect random women to do that for him. 

Quoting Mrs.Sanford1015: To help him pay off his fines & & other things. That's why he needs the money. He doubts that I will be able to afford everything. Meaning the household, our son me & him...&That's the thing he said he doesn't do anything but I'm not dumb, he can't hold back if a woman throws it at him & they always do.... I am nit comfortable with it. I told him that but he doesn't understand
Quoting splatz:

Why would he be asking other women for money? How exactly is he planning on repaying them? I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. I would just be honest with him & tell him how you are feeling.


MandaRose83
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 1:01 PM
21 moms liked this
I'm sorry you said no bashing but you cannot be serious?! Do yourself and that poor baby a favor and get rid of him. Do you not think you deserve more? Or more importantly your son deserves way more.
ladybugchick317
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 2:09 PM
10 moms liked this

 You are not wrong for feeling like this. He needs to have more respect for you than that. I would tell him he has one of two options. He can stop talking to these other girls and have you and your son or he can keep talking to these girls and have not only fines when he comes home but child support too and have to find his own place to go to when he gets out.

motherof5-7
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 2:31 PM
9 moms liked this

What are YOU worth?

I think your son's father is using you - no man who truly loves a women would have

any desire to be with

saywatuwill
by on Apr. 12, 2014 at 12:22 AM
2 moms liked this

I would consider leaving him if he wasn't willing to respect me in that way AFTER messing up our entire family by doing something jail worthy. 

cjsmom1
by on Apr. 12, 2014 at 12:25 AM
10 moms liked this

It sounds like he the time in jail hasn't made him grow up. he should look for a job, no matter how hard it is, in order to pay his fines and help support his child. The fact that he's even thinking about doing this shows that he has no respect for you or your relationship.

Things to ask yourself. Is he the kind of man you want your son to grow up to be? Will he be faithful? Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?

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