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Yes i am 40 yrs old and lost. I am a stay at home mom of a 5 yr little boy. I have been home with him since he's born. I use to be a medical assistant. I enjoyed and appreciate the time i have had with my son. He is going to school in September. My husband and i want another baby but i am conflicted. Do i want to stay home with another baby for another 5 yrs or get a career. I didn't go to college but would love to go back to school. I am so torn between school, a career and having another child. To be quite honest i feel like i am the best mom but in the same regard a loser because i have no degree or career. I feel useless. I am interested in the medical field. I want to be a nutritionist but i know its a big commitment to go back to school. I am at a huge crossroads in my life. I feel like 40 yrs old is old and i missed the boat. I am so confused. I had a horrendous miscarriage this past January. In the ER I happend to see the baby flow out of me during my miscarriage. I picked it up in shock screaming " my baby". Another patient in the room ran out screaming. The nurse ran in and took it out of my hands and dumped it head first in a jar. I haven't been the same since then. I am scared to try again but want another baby so bad. I also want a career. Can i have both or do i have to choose one. Am i stupid to feel like a loser because i dont have a degree that says I'm somebody?  I would love some feedback.

by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 8:31 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 2:33 PM
I am happy being me,stay at home mom and house wife I am 49 years old .my son is 11 years old would not have it any other way.but,what do You want to do?
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 5:39 PM
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Thank you, to all you sweet hearts for such nice comments and advice. I wish i lived next door to all of you. God bless all of you.

by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 6:56 PM

I don't have a degree and I don't feel like a loser. I enjoy being a mother. I can go to school when my kids are in school full time. 

I'm sorry for your loss. 

by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 7:04 PM
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I will be 45 in June and I think I am going to go back to school in the fall.  I have at least 20 years left before I can retire is the way I look at it.

by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 7:21 PM
Wow... Your experience with the miscarriage is something I could never imagine going through. I'm so sorry about your loss and how that all happened! You must be very strong to overcome such a tragedy.

I am 28. I am a stay-at-home-mom to my 9-month-old son. I never completed anything but an MA certificate, as well, so I understand your feelings of confusion. The fact that I want more children weighs more to me than the education I plan to continue. You can go back to school at any point, even take a class or two here ad there throughout ypur pregnancy and after the baby comes. Children, on the other hand, can only remain viable in the womb until a certain age. I say go for it!

I am a strong believer in things happening for a reason. Don't let your little angel stop you from creating new life and more siblings for your son. <3
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 7:30 PM
First of all, I'm so sorry for the loss you suffered and the callous way your LO was treated.

Secondly, I do understand being torn and feeling lost. I'm hoping when my youngest is a little older (he's almost 5 now) that ill go back to school to learn ASL and interpreting. Till then, I'm going to strive be the very best homeschooling mom I can be. Days aren't always as fulfilling as I would like, but sometimes they are and I love those times! :)

Hope you find the answers you need.
by Jennifer on Apr. 17, 2014 at 8:09 PM

Your never too old to go back to school. Good Luck!!!

by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 11:17 PM
Being a Mom is the most important job in the world and doing it right takes a lot of time and energy.You should never feel bad about not be able to do it all I think a lot of people spend too much time trying to find things wrong with their lives instead of seeing all that's right with their life.I'm sorry for your loss I can see how that would be mentally exhausting. I think you should just take it easy maybe don't put pressure on yourself right now. Maybe you should pray about it pray that you can come up with some real answers on what's next for you life. I'm sure you have lots of beautiful life still to be had no matter what you choose. God Bless
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 5:49 PM
I'm in a similar position..your miscarriage sounded so traumatic...there are other pple who share your traumas as there are other pple who share my particular ones..and we are always on the path to healing more and more.i would think whether I choose to have a child or not it will bring a lot of emotions.i have a two year old and I am 38 next year.i would love another child and I am going to get my GED this year.i want a career too.women these days have options but we are mothers too! And that's a career too! I'm glad to read about all the other women here..looks like we are all in the same boats.may we enjoy our journeys whatever we do in this tough economic doubt it's a challenge !! Xx
by on Apr. 19, 2014 at 5:42 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm in the same boat but starting to realize if all I'm gonna do is sit at home and watch my daughter may as well go to school even if I do it online.
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