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Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

I try so hard :(

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 11:57 PM
  • 12 Replies

I just had my son 2 weeks ago and I decided to breast feed and I dont like to use the bottle because I feel like I will bond a little better the other way. Well I am like the only one out of all my friends who has children. We all want to have a girls night tomorrow and I told them I might have to bring my son Kaleb since I am breastfeeding and they all think I should just pump and leave him at home for just a couple of hours and I don't really want to do that. I feel like they don't understand me and I feel so different then them. They still like to go dancing and drinking and have fun. I try so hard to hang out with them when I can and just because I just had a baby and I have another child I am not allowed to bring them. They told me I should either leave him at home with my husband or not come because they don't want to hear him cry alot and its just a girls night out. It's funny to think who is your real friends at the end of the day. I guess I am at a different place than them. But its very upsetting to hear them say that to me. I am sorry but I had to vent. :(

by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 11:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Apr. 18, 2014 at 12:13 AM

Sorry your friends don't understand =(

SeraiahH
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 12:15 AM
Hugs mama! You know what's best for you and your baby. I'm sorry they don't have more compassion for you.
april_mommy
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 1:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I was in your same position. Either they werent moms or had one and were single going out every weekend. I keep in touch from time to time but found some awesome moms at parks, local gym, ect and we have playdates with our little ones. Im still happily married, my old friends are all still single and miserable. 

mammabb
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 2:23 AM
Im in the same place u are all my friends are single and looking for a man there all miserable lol, im not im married have a 3 yr old and a 6month old, but sad to say they dnt keep many men in there lifes cuz its all about party at there age they seem to forget most men are married, have familys but they swear they will find the perfect man have kids and still go out yeah will c. I really dnt talk to any of them they Complained that i wud make plans to go to girls night out then something wit the kids and blah blah.I wud get so mad cuz i cant jus pick up and leave to drink, out of all of them i say i have one true friend my best friend she dnt have kids or married but shes busy going to school but she understands i cant jus go every time,but i belive its all for a reason cuz the ones that do stay around are there cuz they are supposed to be in my life therefore are the ones ill make time for and never let down i hope to find more friends or moms like her.
Alicia_Griffin
by Member on Apr. 19, 2014 at 9:13 PM
Try to make some new friends who do have children and understand what it's like to have that
libsterdoodle
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 11:43 AM

I'm sorry that your friends aren't acting much like friends, but it is impossible for them to know and understand the level of responsibility and devotion it takes to be a parent because they aren't yet!!!! I would say that you would really benefit from trying to find friends that are also parents and then you can have playdates with those women and not feel badly about wanting to bring your baby with you!!  Good luck!

nana776
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 1:58 PM

Some people just don't get the concept that children change everything (at least, they should.) I had to find a whole new group of friends when I had my oldest, I still kept in contact with my old friends, we just weren't as close. Some I ended up dropping completely because they just didn't understand how my priorites had to change. 

Good luck Mamma. Keep doing what is best for you and your kids and if some friendships have to fall away, well, they weren't the best friends anyway.

Monsita
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 5:39 PM
Hugs.
It was hard for you to hear the cold\cruel true...
When we get to have kids, we are not any longer that same person we were before....
They told you their true.

Now, you can tell them, yours: since you are a mother....since your baby is brad new and depends on you so much.....you can not longer join them!

Hugs.


Quoting Landonsmommy-09:

I just had my son 2 weeks ago and I decided to breast feed and I dont like to use the bottle because I feel like I will bond a little better the other way. Well I am like the only one out of all my friends who has children. We all want to have a girls night tomorrow and I told them I might have to bring my son Kaleb since I am breastfeeding and they all think I should just pump and leave him at home for just a couple of hours and I don't really want to do that. I feel like they don't understand me and I feel so different then them. They still like to go dancing and drinking and have fun. I try so hard to hang out with them when I can and just because I just had a baby and I have another child I am not allowed to bring them. They told me I should either leave him at home with my husband or not come because they don't want to hear him cry alot and its just a girls night out. It's funny to think who is your real friends at the end of the day. I guess I am at a different place than them. But its very upsetting to hear them say that to me. I am sorry but I had to vent. :(

clairewait
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 6:04 PM

I don't know, I kind of understand where your friends are coming from. I mean, I'm not doing a ladies night in or out WITH children... if I'm making a point to get together with girlfriends, kids are sort the THING I'm taking a break from.

So maybe this isn't your season for going out with those friends for a while. That's fine too. It doesn't last forever.

It isn't time to find new friends or anything. It is just time to do what is right for you without guilt. So do what you need to do, take care of yourself and baby and take as much time as you need. Your friends will still be there when you are ready for a break.

Starbucksbabe83
by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 6:07 PM
Do what yoy feel is best for you. Friends without kids dont always understand how something like that can be such a big deal. So do what is best for you. Sometimes yoy have to sacrifice for your kids. And sometimes ita good to get out of the house for adult time.
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