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Have you ever have to hold your tongue when it comes to other parents?

Posted by on May. 6, 2014 at 1:18 PM
  • 9 Replies

I was grocery shopping yesterday and there was a younger mom shopping too. She had her newborn (looked to be about a month old) and her older child (about 6 or 7) with her. The little boy was pushing the basket and the mom was pushing the baby in the stroller. However it wasn't a stoller with a carrier, it was a folding umbrella stroller. The baby was not supported in the stroller and was leaning foward, almost toppling over. I could see her face and her little lip started wobbling like she was going to cry at any second. I was more afraid she was going to fall out. I couldn't tell if she was strapped in our not, since she was positioned forward. The mom wasn't paying attention as she was grabbing something from the shelf. In that moment, I didn't want to act alarmed and upset anyone, so instead, I just said, "Oh my goodness, what a beautiful baby girl. How old is she?". The mom looked at me right away and smiled, looked at her baby and noticed the way she was situated and picked her up. We chatted for about a minute then I went on my way to the next aisle. 

I don't know her situation or whether or not she had a carrier she could have put a baby that young in instead of the umbrella stroller, but I kind of cringed when I first saw the baby. I didn't want to be 'that mom'. That mom that says something about the baby needing to be supported in something more substantial than an umbrella stroller but I couldn't let the baby possibly fall either, so I chose a less direct route.

Have you ever had to hold your tongue when it comes to other parents?

by on May. 6, 2014 at 1:18 PM
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Replies (1-9):
MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on May. 6, 2014 at 1:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I would have probably done what you did too.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2014 at 2:00 PM

good one mama ... I'm not sure what I would have done.  I've held my tongue many times when I see children that are in iffy situations.  

CandyMoon
by Member on May. 6, 2014 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like you handled that situation perfectly. And yes I've had to hold my tongue many times.
amy-momof5
by on May. 7, 2014 at 5:52 PM
I always hate when I go to the fair in the summer and its 90 degrees out and I see itty nitty babies baking in the sun in umbrella strollers with no shade all hunched over and sweating. And I hate to say it but its usually a very young mom with her baby daddy who's standing there chain smoking. It takes everything I have not to say something.
AmandaGray2013
by on May. 8, 2014 at 12:46 PM
I would of said something I am not one to bite my tongue when it comes to children. Some people don't like it but i believe in Doing good in this world for the little ones who will be here when I am gone someday. Good job!!!
4girlsmum
by on May. 8, 2014 at 12:49 PM

I read somewhere that umbrella strollers were fine for even little infants, has that changed?

diaperstodating
by on May. 8, 2014 at 12:51 PM
Yes.
shalynoel
by on May. 8, 2014 at 1:01 PM
1 mom liked this

That was a great way to get her attention without being judgmental. So many times, we as mothers can come off to be too judgmental which has the reverse effect. We really need to support other moms and it is difficult at times to come up with the right thing to say.

Having said that, I am guilty of having to hold my tongue. One of the biggest things I deal with is a friend that has toddlers that walk all over her. They whine, nag, complain, and the mom does back. I just listen and don't say much. These are her children and this is what works for her although it makes me cringe because I do know there are some great strategies to help alleviate some of her stress. I just don't know what to say that won't sound offensive.

mom2the.rescue
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 11:26 AM

All the time, but I bet the parents can see it in my face.  And sometimes I see that look too, like "I'm totally judging you, you're doing everything all wrong, but I'll be the bigger person & not say anything".  You did a great job.  I would have struggled with the right words to say then.

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