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Should I let them talk?

Posted by on May. 6, 2014 at 4:14 PM
  • 12 Replies

Long story short.

I met my husband during a time when his ex and him were in a court battle for visitation. He supposedly went back and forth from her and I for a couple of years. He has denied being with her as much as she has claimed. Supposedly they were together just three months before we married. We did break up and got back together with him proposing.


Anyways they have never been able to get along. And I think she is crazy. She has tried to sabotage our marriage many times, by telling me that he was trying to cheat on me with her. She sent texts and everything. The latest thing is that he sent her a pornographic picture to her cell asking if it was her. He told me that he was looking out for their 5 year old daughter by asking about the picture. She got highly offended and asked me if we could just communicate, so she wouldn't have to deal with him. 

That was 9 months ago. Since she has given him a little note saying that "she will always love him as their childs Father and she wishes for peace for them. it said how she wishes him all the happiness in teh world and she knows their time has passed but they can peacefully share what they created together..."

They have not spoken in 8 months. This was out of nowhere. Then a few days later a storm passed through her area and he contacted her and their child to see if they were ok. He also asked for pictures of their daughter.

Now comes the issue...Their daughter is about to graduation from her school. The mother got the graduation pictures in Monday morning and sent a couple to my husband letting him know that she would split the package with him, if he wanted any.


I replied to her by email. He ignored the text from her.  She came back with "she would like to try to communicate with him from now on. She thanked me for being a buffer when things were not so good, but she thinks its important for the child that they learn to be able to be cordial with each other eventually and this seemed like a good place to start..." She said how she did think there shoudl be an issue for them not to be able communicate unless he was sending pornographic pictures and such.


I diagreed with her and told her that things did not need to change. I want all commnuication to go through me. Is this wrong?


by on May. 6, 2014 at 4:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lorelai_Nicole
by Lorelai on May. 6, 2014 at 5:01 PM
Yes, I think you are wrong. She's correct in saying that it's best for the child for her parents to get along, or at least be civil. It sounds like maybe she's grown up some. Give it a shot--if it doesn't work out, you can go back to being be buffer.

That said, it's not up to you. Your husband has every right to communicate with the mother of his child, and (wife or not) you have no business telling him otherwise.
Mom2beCindyG
by New Member on May. 6, 2014 at 5:09 PM
Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: Yes, I think you are wrong. She's correct in saying that it's best for the child for her parents to get along, or at least be civil. It sounds like maybe she's grown up some. Give it a shot--if it doesn't work out, you can go back to being be buffer. That said, it's not up to you. Your husband has every right to communicate with the mother of his child, and (wife or not) you have no business telling him otherwise.

Even if things have been calm since they have had no communication?

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on May. 6, 2014 at 5:29 PM

I would let them handle it and stay out of it.

nana776
by Member on May. 6, 2014 at 5:50 PM

I think that they should at least try to communicate. If it doesn't work, go back. I would be prepared for more accusations from her. 

Lorelai_Nicole
by Lorelai on May. 6, 2014 at 7:07 PM
Yes.

Quoting Mom2beCindyG:
Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: Yes, I think you are wrong. She's correct in saying that it's best for the child for her parents to get along, or at least be civil. It sounds like maybe she's grown up some. Give it a shot--if it doesn't work out, you can go back to being be buffer.

That said, it's not up to you. Your husband has every right to communicate with the mother of his child, and (wife or not) you have no business telling him otherwise.

Even if things have been calm since they have had no communication?

ZoeCY
by Member on May. 6, 2014 at 7:11 PM

Yes, you're wrong.

polkaspots
by Member on May. 6, 2014 at 7:38 PM
I think you being the buffer was a temporary thing and should stop now that they're getting along. They're both adults and should act like it for the kid.
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emsterg
by on May. 6, 2014 at 8:00 PM
I think u are wrong to an extent...let them communicate but with u knowing everything that is said and done...now I haven't gone through anything like that but my sister has and that is what she ended up doing and let me tell u there hasn't been any problems between any of them in years
209mom4you
by New Member on May. 6, 2014 at 8:04 PM

yes you are wrong you should let them try it out you arent his mom youre his wife.

themaurer7
by Member on May. 6, 2014 at 8:15 PM
This

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: Yes, I think you are wrong. She's correct in saying that it's best for the child for her parents to get along, or at least be civil. It sounds like maybe she's grown up some. Give it a shot--if it doesn't work out, you can go back to being be buffer.

That said, it's not up to you. Your husband has every right to communicate with the mother of his child, and (wife or not) you have no business telling him otherwise.
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