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Whats the right thing to do? Stay or leave?

Posted by on May. 14, 2014 at 11:13 PM
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this

Hi! my name is Kelsey and im 22 years old.  I'm about 15 weeks pregnant and already love my child more than life itself!!! I need some advice!! Im currently living in minnesota and me and my babys father are not together. I dont feel like he will step up to the plate and be a good father.  He has made no effort thus far. Also he is a big partier and is often involved with drugs. I wont feel safe leaving my child with him. Even though most of my family lives in this area, im closest with my mother  who lives in Florida, and more than anything i want her to be part of everything.  Also unless im at work im basically alone 24/7. I feel like i need her help and she wants me to move in, but i also feel like im running away from my situation. I guess my question is, would leaving be the best decision i could make for my child?

by on May. 14, 2014 at 11:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mag86
by on May. 14, 2014 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I think u should try moving with your mom. IF the guy really cares he would help out. Congrats on ur pregnancy hope everything works out for u
nana776
by Member on May. 14, 2014 at 11:21 PM

Have you talked to the baby's father? For a lot of guys it doesn't sink in until closer to having the baby, sometimes not even until it is born. If he doesn't seem to care, then I would go ahead and move to Mom's if that is what you want to do. It may actually hurt your child less if he isn't in the area, than to know he is right there and still had nothing to do with them, know what I mean?

Congratulations!! And Welcome to the group.

clinkrink14
by on May. 14, 2014 at 11:30 PM

I have been in contact with him and he seems to be supportive only through text. He said he would prefer that i not move for a year or two, he does want to be invovled but when its convenient to him.  im afraid for my babys safety knowing that he is a big drinker, deals with drugs, and his friends are the same.. i wouldnt trust any of them around my child. I dont want to take the child away from him but i also dont want my child to grow up around those types of things. its all so confusing!! Thank you for the help!!

friend29
by New Member on May. 15, 2014 at 2:00 AM
Hi my name is grisel Garcia and have four boys and I just want to tell you to sit down and think what you want to do write down the pros and the cons and do what is right for you:-)
booaura
by Member on May. 15, 2014 at 2:05 AM
Yes, move.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Firstat35
by New Member on May. 15, 2014 at 2:13 AM
If you have a person willing to love and help you raise this child GO to that person! Raising a child while you are hoping for someone to step up will not help u maintain your cool. The little one experiences all your emotions, don't suffocate the baby with that insecurity.

Yes your mom may even drive you crazy, but you can always get on your feet again and get independence. When the chips are down and you need help, you will need another responsible soul.

You are young, find someone that will teach your child what a real man is. If you hVe thought about it, do it before there is attachment issues. Want more for the two of you! Demand it for your new life, for this new life!

Oh yeah, it's going to be hard no matter which you choose. Make the decision one you can count on, the one that is most stable.
Chaesmom2
by on May. 15, 2014 at 10:08 AM

Support with a New baby and in the years that follow are super important.  Don't waste anytime doing the right thing for yourself and your child.  He doesn't get to pick and choose what is right for you and baby when he is already showing signs of "Part-Time" Dad.  Go to Mom if she has open arms...  You may be indecisive now but once your baby arrives you will most likely realize as soon as you lay on her/him that you made the right choice...This is not "Man Bashing" but if he isn't 100% supportive now then he doesn't want to be.  He just wants tokeep you there "in case" he decides down the road that he wants to be in your babies life and that is not fair...  COME TO FLORIDA sweetie.... I don't even know you but almost guarantee you will be glad you did!!!!!  Good Luck

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on May. 15, 2014 at 10:43 AM

I think you should move in with your mom

ChangingLanes
by on May. 15, 2014 at 11:24 AM

Move with your mom...

EarlGrayHot
by on May. 15, 2014 at 12:30 PM

First of all- make sure the baby's father knows he will be expected to ante up for child support.  His kid, his responsibility.  I don't blame you for not wanting your baby to be around him with all his problems.  Call your state offices and find out how to get him to provide and send money to another state.  He MUST do that.  Then move if you wish. 

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