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Friend Yelled at my Kid

Posted by on May. 16, 2014 at 7:50 AM
  • 19 Replies

I haven't been on much, but I really need to get some feedback.

So my 3.5 year old DS was playing with one of his favorite friends a 3.5 year old girl. They were climbing over the couch, and he pushed the little girl off and onto the floor and she fell down. I didn't see the whole thing happen, but this is what I figured happened. Anyway, the mom of the 3.5 year old girl (and a good friend of mine) screamed at my DS asking him what he was thinking, why would he do such a thing. It scared the sh*t out of me too because we don't raise our voice like that at our house. (This is the third time I've heard my friend do it - twice directed at her daughter).  Anyway, my DS was so scared. She asked him again and he just broke out into a waterfall of tears. He looked all alone and scared.

So I told him to come to me straight away and hugged him. I talked to him quietly and asked him if he was scared, was he still scared, etc ... he eventually was able to stop crying. The I told him that the reason the mom screamed was that she was scared too that her daughter might get hurt. I told him it might be a good idea for him to apologize to the mom and girl. Which eventually after he calmed down significantly, he did. The mom also apologized to me and my DS.

But omg, I can't get it off my mind. I told my DS later that grownups should never yell at kids like that. I don't want him to think that it's okay for someone to treat him like that.

Anyway, I just wanted to put my story out there and see what others think. I can't seem to figure out how to let it go. I go through flashes of real anger and then despise myself for not standing up to my friend in my son's defense. (I mean kids play rough sometimes - especially boys)

Thanks.

by on May. 16, 2014 at 7:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
dotsicle
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 8:50 AM
1 mom liked this

You don't yell. The other mom does. She's not going to change her habits because you don't agree with them. I can't see the harm in yelling at a rowdy kid... I still do, and mine are all over 21 LOL

ladybugchick317
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would talk to your friend and tell her that if there is an issue with your son that you will handle it and to come to you. Just explain that she would not want someone else screaming at her kid like that and neither do you.

waytomanykids10
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:19 AM
6 moms liked this

 This is just the start of many people that will yell at him in his life, instead of babying him, teaching how to handle it.

sauceda
by New Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:34 AM
2 moms liked this
It's never ok to yell at a kid especially if the kid is not yours. We don't yell at or spank our daughter no one else is going to she should have told him that it wasn't ok and than talked to you about it, if she's a good friend of yours then she should know how you feel
m.garcia21
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 10:44 AM
5 moms liked this
Maybe next time your son pushes another kid, reprimend him, it pisses anyone off when someone elses kid hurt their kid and the other kids parents does nothing about it
HStarin
by New Member on May. 16, 2014 at 12:07 PM

Pushing another child off a couch can be serious business, it only takes 1 knock to the head and a child (or and adult) will never be the same.  Your child should of been reprimanded.  How the other mother reacted sounds like a little over baring, for her to yell at her child is one thing (all parents discipline differently - NO I am not condoning abuse/spanking for pain and etc), Having him apologize to the mom/daughter was a good call.  You would of been upset to if the situation was the other way around.  I would talk to my friend and say if something happens again please bring it to my attention right away and I can discipline my child.

natural_s
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2014 at 12:54 PM

If she is a real friend then I would sit down and talk to her and tell her how you feel, explaining that you are not upset about her correcting your son but that you did not like the yelling part of it because you guys do not do that and it scared him. If she is a real friend she would apologize for yelling and that will be the end of it.

I yell sometimes but I have never yelled at someone else's kids and don't think anyone has the right to do that, because she could have corrected him without screaming. Seeing that she does it to her own child, it is probably something that she is use to doing and does not realize how it can be offensive to others.

How you are able to get your point across so you can let it go and you two can move on with a healthy friendship.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2014 at 1:14 PM
4 moms liked this

Yeah sorry I'm with the other moms on this -

I would have probably yelled too if my daughter got pushed off the couch purposely by another child.  I would have done the same thing TO my dd if she would have pushed a kid off the couch too.  And frankly if the "culprit's" mom was coddling him after the incident I would have been erked.  An accident happens so quickly.  If the other kid would have landed face first, head against furniture corner, band landing on the neck - this could have been a horror story.  Also the "morale" of this story is, you really shouldn't let 3 years olds climb on furniture anyways.  

blue.butterfly
by on May. 18, 2014 at 2:22 AM

I don't think she should have yelled at your son. I'd be very annoyed. 

blue.butterfly
by on May. 18, 2014 at 2:23 AM

This. I know we all lose our patience sometimes but this doesn't sound like a scenario where yelling needed to happen. 

Quoting sauceda: It's never ok to yell at a kid especially if the kid is not yours. We don't yell at or spank our daughter no one else is going to she should have told him that it wasn't ok and than talked to you about it, if she's a good friend of yours then she should know how you feel


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