When I was a kid, I was absolutely obsessed with Ripley's Believe It or Not! Not the "museum" franchise, I'm talking about the 80's show that had Jack Palance as the host. Man, remember that breathy delivery of his? "Believe it … or not."

Anyway, I was thinking of that series recently and how I would totally watch a parenting version of it now. Because there are SO many unexplained mysteries involved in raising kids. Strange events! Otherworldly artifacts! Facts that are so downright bizarre they'd be impossible to believe if you didn't view them with your own eyes!

For instance, take these 5 examples of inexplicable parenting phenomena that makes NO sense whatsoever.

One Band-Aid = 4823051309782729947106 pieces of paper. You unwrap a Band-Aid for your kid's skinned elbow and in theory there should be, like, three pieces of paper. The paper that acts as packaging for the bandage and the two pieces that stick to the adhesive strips. Right? THREE. But somehow that's not what happens, is it? It's like clowns leaving a Volkswagen! It defies the laws of physics! The mysterious fluttering paper-drifts that are seemingly generated from thin air whenever a Band-Aid is opened are probably the world's greatest untapped sources of renewable energy.

Invisible crusts that repel children. How can a cheese quesadilla have a crust? It's a CIRCLE. A circle made of one hundred percent TORTILLA. There's no hardened edge of browned surface dough. And yet my 6-year-old nibbles to the edge of every quesadilla triangle and leaves a rind because apparently he can see through time and space to something THAT DOES NOT EXIST.

Boys' swim trunks have liners: why? Seriously, why? I guess I can accept the explanation that swim trunks for very small children need some sort of containment factor in the event that there's a … um … fecal breach. Still, once they've reached the non-pool-pooping age but have years to go before they develop any flappy bits, boys don't need that mesh business in their swimsuits. If for no other reason than it invariably gets turns inside-out in the washing machine and transforms a simple pair of shorts into a goddamned Rubik's Cube.

(Total side note, I just discovered that this amusing product exists. I love that it claims to be perfect for hot tubs, bathtubs, shower floors, AND beds. Also please note the attention to detail with regards to what appears to be flecks of corn.)

The strange allure of the brown M&M. You divide a handful of M&Ms among two children and they will invariably fight over who has the most brown ones. And I can't even write this off as being deranged, illogical child behavior because despite all evidence to the contrary I ALSO believe that the brown M&M has a superior flavor to all others.

The mystery toy that reappears no matter what. Tell me I'm not the only one who always has at least one toy in the house that's possessed with the eerie power to continually reappear in odd places no matter how many times I personally ensure it's been put away? You know what I'm talking about, right? The boomerang-like toy that evokes that old camp song about the cat coming back the very next day, even though you thought it was a goner, the toy came back, IT JUST WOULDN'T STAY AWAY? For example, this Pacific Rim figurine, which moves around our house with poltergeist-like persistence:

It's on the couch:


It's on the floor downstairs next to an errant shoe and a random charging cord:


It's placed carefully on the bookshelf:


It's facedown in the bathroom:


It's hanging out on a kitchen stool:


It's on the floor of my son's room waiting for me to step on it when I kiss him goodnight:


Wherever I go, there it is. I swear I put it on my son's highest shelf a few days ago, the one he can't actually reach without assistance, and I turned around and the robot was lying in the bathtub. Believe it … or not.

 

What strange things happen in your life now that only make sense to another mom?

Images via Linda Sharps, sarawestermark/Flickr