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I have to make the decision to be OK with it before I can even mention it to DF

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My Mom wants to take DD (3.5) on a trip soon ... just DD. It's a 3+ hour drive (my Mom is an OK driver, but I can count on both hands the amount of accidents that she's been in for as long as I can remember) both ways ... she wants to leave on a Saturday afternoon and return on a Tuesday evening. My Mom is going to visit with her BF, whom I have never met, and his grandchildren. (They dated in HS and recently reconnected.) 

I dont know how to feel about it. I have never been away from DD for more than maybe 24 hours and she has been within 20 minutes drive time from me. She doesn't like knew people, she is very clingy when she's nervous/scared and my Mom can not physically pick her up. Did I mention the drive is 3+ hours both ways and she'll be gone nearly 3 days? 

When she was talking about it and asking, she wasn't asking if I woud mind, she was asking if DF would mind. I looked at her and I was like "Really, I'm suppose to automatically be fine with it? I'll think it over and then talk to him." I wasn't nasty or anything about it, just making a general comment. She doesn't know when it is that she'll be going, or she just left that part out. I don't know.

So I'm going to think about it tonight and talk to him about it tomorrow I guess and see what he says. 

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by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 4:15 PM
Replies (11-20):
KREX0914
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 9:59 PM

My daughter has been going on vacations with my mom since she was 2. But I know some moms that would never allow that. I think it depends on your relationship with your parents.

I missed the part about the strange man and your mom not being physically capable. I retract mt previous statement.

egyptian_mommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't do it personally. You don't know this person, your dd doesn't do well with new people and your mother has limitations. I just wouldn't be comfortable with it if it was me in your place. But hopefully you and your SO can reach an agreement.
SarahSuzyQ
by Bronze Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 10:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I would not be comfortable sending my young child to stay overnight with someone who is a stranger to me, even if a grandparent was going to be there. I would have to at least meet the BF first. And how old are the grandchildren?

My son has been away for the weekend to his grandparents' house. I believe that time away and that independence is important for children. I also believe that children are really vulnerable when sleeping away from home, and I would want to be more comfortable with the environment and the people involved.

Just my two cents. You know what is right for your child one way or the other.
bhow
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Whoa Whoa Whoa, I would say no in a heart beat.  

1.) You have not a clue about this person

2.) How much does your mother know about them?

3.) It's your child, you have the responsibility of protecting her.

I'm sorry but that's how I would be if I were hesitant ... as you are.

chaotic.mind
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:20 PM
If you're not comfortable with it, don't send her. The reasons you gave are all valid concerns. I wouldn't be comfortable with it either.
ATG499
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this

The moment you said she's going to be with her boyfriend whom you've never met before, my answer was a big N-O.

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JTE11
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 3:22 AM

While only you can decide what's best for your DD, FWIW if I was in your position (with the info you gave)  I'd find it very difficult to let her go and feel OK about it. The driving, the length of trip, her inability to pick your DD up, and being with a strange man just would not work for me personally. I wouldn't let her go. Maybe if she was older.

SlightlyPerfect
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:06 AM
Nope.

But you already know that.
Garnet_Iris11
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:31 AM
Exactly. There are so many reasons as to why I'm not going to send her. I've yet to mention anything to DF and my Mom hasn't mentioned anything again about.

Quoting momofnatalie:

I think if DD is clingy, she would probably have a rough time for her.  My DD is similar and I think when they are older, she might do better.  If you feel uncomfortable about it, don't do it.  You will be worried about her the entire time. 

Garnet_Iris11
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:34 AM
Mom has nothing but positives to say about him, but that doesn't mean much to me since I have never met him. I know she wouldn't let anything happen to DD, but things can and do happen.

Quoting Smashley222:

Personally, i wouldn't let her go... not only did u say she is clingy, but your mom cant even physically pick her up. You've never met this man, either. I would not let my child go 3 hours away from me with someone who can't be physically reliable with my daughter, and plus i dont trust anyone i dont know with my kids. Especially men, and especially if they will be spending the night with them. But thats just me...

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