sharing woes....I dont think a gift of any kind HAS to be shared
I am almost embarassed to be posting such a petty thing, but apparantely this is such a huge thing to my DH that he hasnt talked to me in 3 days.
Am I wrong in thinking that it is a bad thing for kids to "expect" that EVERYTHING in the house is to be shared? YES, I do believe in sharing, and I enforce it!!! But, I dont think that it is a good thing to teach kids that every single thing that comes into this house MUST be shared. In this case, it is a small gift. My bio daughter was given a couple of lil bags of cookies from a friend of mine. SD wasnt with us at the time of the treat giving. I had the cookies in my purse (last place DD knew of them) but took them out before leaving for work . She was still asleep and I jotted her name of them and placed them in the cupboard w/ other treats (plenty of other goodies for SD to enjoy) Well, DH saw this and got so pissed at me. Says I was deliberately placing my DD name on them and putting them "at eye level for SD to see". This was NOT MY INTENTION!!! He is acting like I went out and bought the items and purposely didnt divvy them up and include SD. I think that since they were a gift to my DD, it is up to her to share. I know its just stupid lil cookies, and thats why I think its ridiculous for DH to be so upset over it. I explained to him that they were a "gift" and that I put them there for DD to find b/c last she knew I had them in my purse. I should also mention he was packing his lunch that morning and was about to grab one and put in his lunch box. I told him that the name on them was to also keep him from taking them, like he almost did, and my 18 yr old DD from eating them, not to just alienate my SD. But he sees this differently. He feels that EVERY DAMN THING needs to be EQUAL between my DD and SD. Oh, and SD always does the "mine" "mine" "mine" on toys, food, drinks, etc. and he doesnt enforce this equality when she pulls that...yet I get the cold shoulder and accusations of being so unfair to his daughter when I label damn cookies!! This is the first time I have ever done this and he is acting like I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Idk, maybe I am wrong for thinking that kids will develop this sense of self entitlement when they are given everything, even other peoples gifts.
I know I could have avoided this by just MAKING my daughter share, but I just dont think thats right!