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Should This Mom Be Ashamed of Her Body?

Mom of 5 Mocked for Her Stretch Marks Has the Last Laugh

by Liz Alterman

bikini 

When proud mom of five Tanis Jex-Blake hit the beach last week with her kids she expected to have an enjoyable, relaxing day. What she didn't anticipate was driving home in tears after two men and a woman mocked her because of her stretch marks

Blake, 33, was sunbathing and sporting a bikini for the first time in 13 years when she opened her eyes to find a trio of bullies standing over her, pointing, mocking her body and pretending to kick her. 

While the Canadian was initially shocked and deeply hurt, she didn't take the insults lying down. Despite the fact that her day was ruined, what Jex-Blake did next has women everywhere cheering. 

This is an open letter to the 2 guys and 1 girl who decided to skip work today in Sherwood Park where they were building a house , but instead decided to come to Alberta Beach to relax in the sun, enjoy the water and some beers.
I'm sorry if my first attempt at sun tanning in a bikini in public in 13 years

This is an open letter to the 2 guys and 1 girl who decided to skip work today in Sherwood Park where they were building a house , but instead decided to come to Alberta Beach to relax in the sun, enjoy the water and some beers.
I'm sorry if my first attempt at sun tanning in a bikini in public in 13 years "grossed you out". I'm sorry that my stomach isn't flat and tight. I'm sorry that my belly is covered in stretch marks. I'm NOT sorry that my body has housed, grown, protected, birthed and nurtured FIVE fabulous, healthy, intelligent and wonderful human beings. I'm sorry if my 33 year old, 125 lb body offended you so much that you felt that pointing, laughing, and pretending to kick me. But I'll have you know that as I looked at your 'perfect' young bodies, I could only think to myself "what great and amazing feat has YOUR body done?". I'll also have you know that I held my head high, unflinching as you mocked me, pretending that what you said and did had no effect on me; but I cried in the car on the drive home. Thanks for ruining my day. It's people like you who make this world an ugly hateful place. I can't help but feel sorry for the women who will one day bear your children and become "gross" in your eyes as their bodies change during the miraculous process of pregnancy. I can only hope that one day you'll realize that my battle scars are something to be proud of, not ashamed of.

The mother of five took time out of what we'd have to imagine is a pretty busy day to post an open letter to her taunters on her Facebook page. Already, the empowering message has garnered close to 10,000 "likes" and has been shared nearly 7,000 times on her page alone.

Calling her stretch marks "battle scars," Jex-Blake says they should be a source of pride, not shame. 

"I'm NOT sorry that my body has housed, grown, protected, birthed and nurtured FIVE fabulous, healthy, intelligent and wonderful human beings," she wrote.  

You go, girl! Jex-Blake's message illustrates that a woman's body serves a much more powerful purpose than simply looking appealing to others at the beach.

Her response resonates with so many because, as she points out, "normal women will never measure up to a super model," nor do they have the luxury of Photoshopping each picture snapped of them.

What you wear to the beach is your choice and while others may not agree with it, it certainly doesn't give them the right to put anyone down or ruin their day.

Do you agree with Jex-Blake's response or should there be a bikini cut off?

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:50 PM
Replies (11-15):
SlightlyPerfect
Report
It's about that time...
Yesterday at 2:13 PM
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this
Body shaming is so stupid, I agree, because it judges people by a very superficial set of criteria that isn't applicable to moral character. But this woman is a contradiction. She handled these assholes not with words but with tears (in front of her kids!), but then later claims she loves her body. What does that teach her kids? It's that moment of tears her kids will remember.

I just hope they didn't see this.


Quoting melliburger:

While I would not have gone on social media I don't see the issue with her being out wearing a bikini. Body shaming sucks. We need to stop body shaming people, fat, skinny, in between, etc., etc..

Jenn8604
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 7:48 AM
I would wear a bikini of they made tops large enough. TANKINIS they make 3x, but not bikinis. I'm sorry I need a large bottom only and a 3x top because the ladies are so big. I'm proud of my stretch marks from my one and even tho I have a little flab, I still have a great figure.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
melliburger
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 2:15 AM

I agree with you. I do not agree with the way she handled it, especially considering her kids were with her and will most likely one day see all this media attention for this particular incident.

Quoting SlightlyPerfect: Body shaming is so stupid, I agree, because it judges people by a very superficial set of criteria that isn't applicable to moral character. But this woman is a contradiction. She handled these assholes not with words but with tears (in front of her kids!), but then later claims she loves her body. What does that teach her kids? It's that moment of tears her kids will remember. I just hope they didn't see this.
Quoting melliburger:

While I would not have gone on social media I don't see the issue with her being out wearing a bikini. Body shaming sucks. We need to stop body shaming people, fat, skinny, in between, etc., etc..


SlightlyPerfect
Report
It's about that time...
Yesterday at 2:13 PM
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 7:45 AM
I get so scared for this upcoming generation. We first learn conflict resolution and just moral behavior in general from our parents. If these parents are constantly on their phones, watching reality tv in front of their kids, and really caring about what other people think about them (people who are otherwise meaningless to their everyday lives), what does that teach these kids? I think she had a real teachable moment, but she sadly lost that opportunity.

But what assholes those kids were!


Quoting melliburger:

I agree with you. I do not agree with the way she handled it, especially considering her kids were with her and will most likely one day see all this media attention for this particular incident.

Quoting SlightlyPerfect: Body shaming is so stupid, I agree, because it judges people by a very superficial set of criteria that isn't applicable to moral character. But this woman is a contradiction. She handled these assholes not with words but with tears (in front of her kids!), but then later claims she loves her body. What does that teach her kids? It's that moment of tears her kids will remember.

I just hope they didn't see this.


Quoting melliburger:

While I would not have gone on social media I don't see the issue with her being out wearing a bikini. Body shaming sucks. We need to stop body shaming people, fat, skinny, in between, etc., etc..

rockinmomto2
by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 8:21 AM

Good for her. I was at the beach yesterday, and I noticed that the majority of women on the beach had pretty imperfect bodies. Their thighs were super jiggly, definitely didn't have flat tummies, some were very seriously overweight. But you know what they all had in common? They didn't give two shits what other people thought and were capable of enjoying themselves on the beach. I think the people who made fun of this woman were really crappy people and deserved to be called out over social media.

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