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I Have a hard time finding a place in this "boys club" I call home.

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2014 at 1:11 AM
  • 18 Replies

Don't get me wrong I love my boys.. 4, 10, 32.... But, lately and as the boys get older I find myself being on the lesser end of the stick... Not even tears matter to them.. In their opinion..I am being emotional.. (everyones favorite) PMSing.. Sometimes I just want to get away, and then I am dubbed a bad mom or "abandon" the kids.. When really it is just getting to a point where I feel they don't care if I am there or not... I mean sure as long as the house is mostly clean and everyone has food.. I am the last thought... I can't seem to handle beeing the only girl in the "boys club".

by on Aug. 12, 2014 at 1:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momofnatalie
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 1:43 AM
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Hugs, that must be so tough.  I think they are oblivious to your feelings because boys aren't in tune with emotions as girls are.  I think you need to talk to your DH and share how you feel. I think if he can try to include you more and be mindful of how you feel your boys will follow suit.

Alyssachevy
by New Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this

 Thank you! He does well on occasion.. I guess, when he feels up to it. My boys are still young and do have the "I want my mommy" but, maybe I am seeing the clear difference of girls and boys..

 

melliburger
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 2:05 AM
1 mom liked this

That must be really rough :( Is there any way to sit them all down and have a family meeting about this and just say what you're feeling?

mrsfitz05
by on Aug. 12, 2014 at 6:21 AM
2 moms liked this
Because your sons are so young, my first thought is that they are picking this attitude up from their father. They are too young for much societal influence at this point. If dad dismisses your feelings as "pms" or "just being a girl". Naturally they will learn to dismiss women's feelings that way too. Your husband should be teaching them to appreciate what you do for them: whether it's working to provide for them or purely maintaining the household.

It's time for a heart to heart and he needs to understand that every need a woman has isn't ridiculous or ruled by hormones!
wandep
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 7:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs

ablackdolphin
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm always reminding them if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy LOL

clairewait
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Is one of the boys your husband/SO?

Start there.

I'm sorry, but I am not on the side that is just going to say "hang in there." I say fight for the respect and love and honor and worship you deserve. I wanted a house full of boys. I ended up with 3 girls and 1 boy... but let me tell you what, I am the queen in this house and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My husband sets the precedent though, and it all trickles down from him. If your sons are disrespecting you, it is because the man in your life is disrespecting you... and I hate to be the bearer of tough love, but it sounds like you just let them.

How much are you worth? You can demand exactly as much respect and love as you deserve. Also - you are allowed to be emotional. Boys don't necessarily respond to emotion like girls do, so I don't use it as a maniupulation tactic (my MIL did that and my husband still resents it). But I'm real with them. And I'm honest. And I demand high standards.

And. I get exactly what I want.

You can have it too. You are worth it.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 3:39 PM

 It can be hard in an all male family. I was so happy when I had my DD.

othermom
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 4:29 PM
1 mom liked this

that would be hard. I don't have that issue now that I am a parent, but I did growing up. I lived with my dad and my brother. It could be tough. Because of it I am not very feminine so I get along good with my husband and son, I have a hard time with my girls though when it comes to wanting to do girly stuff.

staceysgorbach
by on Aug. 12, 2014 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I have three boys. Ages almost 16,almost 15,and just made 12. My boys think I'm cooler than dad. I just kind of go with the flow. Although I have taught my boys,that we all need personal space and when I say ok,out of my room,they get out(we like to chill in my room watching tv and talking). When I go to my bathroom to do my hair and makeup,they like to talk to me about their day or personal issues,again,when I say scram,they scram. They respect my need for personal space and they get the same in return. Sometimes it can be overwhelming,but I tend to remind myself a lot,they are boys. Lol.
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