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To trust or not to trust? That is the question

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2014 at 3:16 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hi ladies. I have been with my Fiance since 2007. I have known him since 2005. I will tell our story.

I met Jt through mutual guy friends that I went to school with. One day we hungout and we snuck into my Dads house to chill. My Dad was at my Aunts partying. After all the boys left, Jt stayed behind. Where we held hands and watched movies. When my Dad came home he flipped out and made him leave. My Dad went upstairs and my brother told me to run after Jt and that he would distract our Dad. I ran after Jt where we took a walk holding hands and talking. He took me to my Aunts to get my clothes and we hugged before he went home. The next day he walked passed me in school like he didnt even know me. Walked around our neighborhood like nothing ever happened between us. The next day at school. I found out he started dating this girl named Betty. They dated for 6 months and I waited. Impatiently.

2006 comes, Him and Betty break up. We sat in my Dads car because it was cold. Jt sat right next to me. He told me he didnt really want another girlfriend right now, that it was way too soon. So I understood. Within a month he was coming to my house to hangout and we'd makeout and hold hands. We never made it official until the end of March 2006. The 30th to be exact. The next day he came to my house and we hungout. 2 of his friends came over. A woman and a man and they wanted to party with Jt. I said go ahead. He said ill be back. 1pm came 5pm came 10pm came 3am came 7am came 10am came 330PM came and he finally came over. Said he fell asleep. The next day at school there was a rumor going around. That woman who was supposebly was dating the guy that came with her he had sex with. I couldnt believe it. Even tho it wasnt offical we still hungout for months and it hurt. I even told him I forgave him. That we could keep going. I was 14 ppl. He told me no and we broke up. 

A week later we were sitting at our hangout spot with all our friends where he was tickling my back and telling me he missed me. I was in pure bliss. I was so happy. We dated for 6 months. All of a sudden outta know where he broke up with me. My Mom wouldnt let me go to my Dads for 10 months due to the fact she was rude and was always mean where my Dad was concerned. I found out VIA another friend that Jennifer. My best friend since 5th grade was walking down the street holding Jts hand. I called that bitch and told her I would never be friends with her again inless she broke it off. Which she did that day.

April 13th 2007, I moved in with my Dad. I called Jt as soon as I got there. Told him I was moving in and he came over. We threw a party. I stole his hat and we ended up kissing on the stairs. He sat beside me the whole night. Then told me he had to go to court and may go to jail so he didnt want a girlfriend. That week he went to court and only got 3 days of jail time. 

June 2013- Jt had a accident. We were playing wrestling on the trampoline with our friends. When our friend Steven thought it was cool to light a shirt on fire and whip someone with it. Jt got burnt really bad on his neck, shoulder and hand. We talked everyday he was in the hospital. He was there for a few weeks and when he came home I was so happy. Until I seen messages in his cell phone to another chick saying he was leaving me soon to be with her. Pissed off I smacked him in the face and told him to fuck off. He ended up telling me he was sorry and we went on with our lives. 

We've been together ever since with no other problems. We have been engaged since Christmas Eve 2013. We had a Son April 18th 2013. Everythings perfect. 

Until a few weeks ago. Some chick on fb made a status. Something saying a bed fit for a queen, if you dont message me fuck you. Jt stole her status and made it as his own. Pissed off I told him about it the next day. He said he had no intentions of her messaging him. That he knew her from highschool and thought the status was funny and that he could put his own spin on it. I left it at that but added that bitch incase I needed to check her shit. Jt even conversated with her or her status and his. I was pissed. I write on his wall all the time and he doesnt even like that shit. But has time to comment on a skanks shit. He told me he was sorry and I left it alone. Well 2 days ago, He didnt come to bed. He played ps4 all night he said. Well I got on my laptop to delete all the history and at 3AM he looked at the same bitches photos. Not one but quite a few.

Would you be pissed? Need advice?

by on Sep. 1, 2014 at 3:16 PM
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by on Sep. 1, 2014 at 5:00 PM

I would say not a good catch,
Doesn't sound like he can be very trustworthy.
Just my thoughts ;)

by on Sep. 1, 2014 at 7:32 PM

if you have to question it, idk..

by on Sep. 2, 2014 at 7:07 AM
If you can't trust him don't be with him.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Sep. 2, 2014 at 7:44 AM

His behavior does not seem to have changed over the years.  It is not going to get better.

I would not trust him, myself.


by on Sep. 2, 2014 at 10:16 AM

Thank you for sharing. I would leave him and I would be very pissed, I think that he is playing with you and your feelings. Any time that you catch him at something he say's he's sorry and you forgive him and take him back over and over, he knows this and this is why he does it over and over to you. This will alway's be a cycle with him, how can you trust him after so many I'm sorry's. For me I couldn't live this way trust is everything in a relationship. And I wouldn't be able to trust him to be faithful. I hope this helps

by on Sep. 2, 2014 at 9:57 PM
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Soooo much to say not sure how to say it all and make lets just start. 

#1 you started dating to young and fell to hard. Date at 13/14/15 fine but don't expect or look for the long term. At those ages it can be difficult to know "really" what you want in a husband/long term mate etc. You went in to hard and held on to long when it was obvious he didn't feel the same *level* of commitment to you. 

#2 You've set it up where he can cheat/be disloyal etc and not have any realy consequences other then a temporary break up/fight whatever. He knows your standards, at least with him, are to low and he's taking advantage of that. 

#3 You clearly don't trust him. The fact that you have to check up on him and call another female he happened to comment on a status of names. Shows that you are insecure in your relational standings with him. No relationship, short or long term, can last without trust. Has he done alot of un-trustworthy things in the past...yep....have you allowed him to....yep. 

#4 So he was cheating on you. You smacked him, totally unacceptable ever under any circumstances for either person to ever put their hands on each other, and then end up pregnant within the month. Then you get engaged while your 5 months pregnant. Sounds like alot all at once. Has his cheating and your domestic violence ever been taken care of? Not just an apology won't happen again kind of thing but an actual sit down talk about it, meet with a counselor kind of stuff?

by on Sep. 3, 2014 at 10:53 AM

Jt cheated in 2006. I was 14 and he wa 17. He left me for another female in 2006. In 2007 he let me play a game on his phone when he got a text from another bitch and I read it and he said he was gonna leave me. Which he never did, thats the one and only time I ever put my hands on him when I found those text. . August 2012 is when I got pregnant.Our Son was born April 18th 2013.  Christmas Eve 2013 is when I got engaged. Just a few days ago in my history were pictures of a chick named Jennifer. Ive found the pics in my history 3 different times. He hasnt done anything wrong since 2007. 7 almost 8 years ago. Still doesnt mean I dont get worried seeing bitches in my history. I mean you probably would to.

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