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Teenagers

Posted by on Sep. 4, 2014 at 7:35 AM
  • 8 Replies
Ok,I'm a mom a a 4 year old and 4 month old.We took on my husband 17 year old brother to help him get his life straight and get school done,get work experience etc. His parents have taught him nothing..basically were trying to cram 17 years of life experience,manners,respect all into him at 17.

He's a great kid.But of course he's lied about things and done things he wasn't supposed to.Ive tried being nice but lady night was last straw and I kinda just blew it.I don't know how to help him,one he's not my blood and two he's a teenage boy.

Oh and he has a crazy gf back home he' " loves " bit Shes nothing but trouble.We tried giving him freedom,but he broke our rules so he lost privileges..I hate disciplining him bc he's already having it hard by moving states away.Any advice on how to help him out,Other than what we are doing.I guess I mostly just needed a good vent.Thanks for reading..any advice would be appreciated.Thank you mommas
by on Sep. 4, 2014 at 7:35 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Alexsi1
by Member on Sep. 4, 2014 at 8:23 AM
Here's a bump, I hope other moms here can help you. Good luck!
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michiganmom116
by Member on Sep. 4, 2014 at 9:52 AM
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I have 5 kids.  2 are already adults, the other 3 are teens.

We don't discipline so much as have some serious talks.  Teens rebel against rules no matter what.  We do have house rules, and if someone breaks them they had better have a damn good excuse.  Basically our house rules are to respect each other and each other's things.  They can be mad, they can yell, they can hate me all they want...but they WILL show respect and communicate when they are thinking clearly. 

I do a LOT of refereeing, a lot of listening, a lot of counseling.  They're not like kids.  I expect them to act mature, to be adults (which they will be VERY soon), and they are treated as such.

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by Silver Member on Sep. 4, 2014 at 11:44 AM

this .. good luck :)

Quoting michiganmom116:

I have 5 kids.  2 are already adults, the other 3 are teens.

We don't discipline so much as have some serious talks.  Teens rebel against rules no matter what.  We do have house rules, and if someone breaks them they had better have a damn good excuse.  Basically our house rules are to respect each other and each other's things.  They can be mad, they can yell, they can hate me all they want...but they WILL show respect and communicate when they are thinking clearly. 

I do a LOT of refereeing, a lot of listening, a lot of counseling.  They're not like kids.  I expect them to act mature, to be adults (which they will be VERY soon), and they are treated as such.


DisabledVet
by on Sep. 4, 2014 at 11:52 AM

You're doing him a favor by disciplining him. thank goodness the 2 of you care. He's very lucky.

Hannahsmommy816
by Member on Sep. 4, 2014 at 1:04 PM

whew good luck! take it one day and one lesson at a time

army_wifey_06
by Member on Sep. 4, 2014 at 1:30 PM
Good luck! He's lucky to have you guys. I don't have any advice since my kids are still young.
bhow
by Member on Sep. 5, 2014 at 8:47 AM
1 mom liked this

If he has had no guidance and isn't "used" to listening to parental talks ... you need to remember that you have 3 minutes to get your point across because after that they no longer hear a word you are saying.  Their brains will focus for that first 3 minutes so choose your words wisely and calmly.  Speak to him as calm as possible and treat him as an adult as much as possible because in his mind he is an adult, if you speak to him like one you can get farther.  Probably not much but a little.  Ask him if he wants responsibility and then choose something that no one will get hurt if he messes up.  Don't have any idea what that would be, I don't live in your home.  Tell him you love him often, tell him you care what he does and doesn't do to help himself.  Give him hugs as much as he will allow, not big gushy hugs, even a pat on the back.  Human contact makes from those close to us helps us feel secure with in our selves.  Smile at him when he walks in the room, ask him how his day was, allow him to feel that you care.  The smallest things will help him feel better, he's got to feel lost and let down by the adults in his life.

Hrmommyhswif09
by Member on Sep. 15, 2014 at 1:45 AM
Thanks ladies! He's doing really we'll :) he's needed and wanted the guidance,so he accepted his consequences fir his actions.Now he's gained back his things by working hard abd being honest.Hopefukky we can keep him going in the right direction so he has a bright future.
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