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My toddler is scary in the morning

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 6:59 AM
  • 21 Replies

Oooooh my gosh. My 19 month old son has become the grumpiest, most unagreeable ball of anger and despair in the mornings over the past few months (since his 14th month, I'd say). He cries in his crib when he's up for the morning, so I will go in to get him but he protests and needs about 3 minutes to lie down and relax while I stand there. Some mornings he slaps my hands if I reach in to pick him up before he's ready (we've started timeouts for hitting in the daytime over the past month--which is not helping). Then, he proceeds to be very upset and cry while his diaper gets changed and begs for "banana" which he gets every morning with breakfast. He will usually calm down once in his high chair and eating, but some days he has fits of tears while in his high chair over wanting milk, not wanting milk, not being able to scoop his oatmeal properly with his spoon (he's good at feeding himself but not when he's frustrated). He's also just been starting to be pretty rough overall this past month. Hitting, throwing things, slamming toys into you. Like I said, we do 2 minute timeouts but so far, no benefit. 

My goodness....then about 30-45 minutes after waking up he's pretty much fine and plays in his playroom, intermittently coming out to tell me about something or complain about something while I eat breakfast. Mornings....are....HARD in this house. And I don't know why or what's happened. 

by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 6:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
erinrose07
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 7:03 AM
1 mom liked this

He also sleeps a full night, from 6pm to 6am and naps for 1-2 hours once a day in the morning....so I know he's not tired. With all this bad attitude happening at the crack ass of dawn every morning it really puts me in a mood for the first half of the day. I try not to let it get to me but when you roll out of bed to a little monster for the first hour of your day, there's not exactly a reserve of patience available, at least not for this pregnant ass mother. Freaking A. 

sjenkins8208
by Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 7:07 AM
Awww. He sounds like my husband in the mornings! I don't have any advice except that he will probably grow out of it, or at least learnt not to be so grumpy . Maybe he does just need to lay there and wake up and have some alone time first thing in the mornings. With my husband we just don't talk until after he's had a shower haha.

My son has ALWAYS been his happiest in he mornings. I mean he wakes up ready to play everyday and he's 6 now. It can be sort of annoying when it's 7am on Sunday and my husband and I want to sleep in and Gavin's dressed and telling us his going to ride his bike to the park with or without us!
erinrose07
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 7:20 AM

    Lol, thank you for the glimmer of hope---that's what I'm hoping for, that it's just a weird phase. I used to be such a morning person, now I just know what's coming, so I dislike mornings quite a bit. I think I'd prefer it if my S/O acted like a turd in the morning because then at least I could ignore him. The little one wants me to fix his despair yet at the same time hates me if I try: womp womp. I just hope it isn't related to a health condition. The thought has never crossed my mind before because I always just said, "welp...this is Dante in the mornings." But today I thought, "Oh my gosh. This can't be human. There must be something wrong." Lol. 

    Quoting sjenkins8208: Awww. He sounds like my husband in the mornings! I don't have any advice except that he will probably grow out of it, or at least learnt not to be so grumpy . Maybe he does just need to lay there and wake up and have some alone time first thing in the mornings. With my husband we just don't talk until after he's had a shower haha. My son has ALWAYS been his happiest in he mornings. I mean he wakes up ready to play everyday and he's 6 now. It can be sort of annoying when it's 7am on Sunday and my husband and I want to sleep in and Gavin's dressed and telling us his going to ride his bike to the park with or without us!


    jessi2girls
    by Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 7:28 AM

    a 19 month old has no concept of what a time out its.. too early to start that!! Instead, just firmly and calmly say, no hit, and redirect his attention. And besides 2 mins is too long.. 1 minute per age.. (he's 1, so no more than 1 minute).. and agian, it's irrelevant.. time outs shouldn't start until at least 2.. when the child has more of an understanding of what it is there for.. otherwise you are just making the situation worse.

    As for why he's upset in the mornings.. well, he could just miss you, and could be going through an abandonment phase.. where he's worried that you won't come to get him, and then when you do, he's upset that it took so long...He's still pretty much a baby here and learning about all these emotions and how to deal with them.. and how to react himself..

    Your attitude could be making him more upset too, if you are grumpy, he's going to feed off that.. try going in extra happy with the banana in your hand. Let him hold it while you change him quick, and then put him in the high chair..

    Babies this age, have no sense of time either.. 

    Or some kids are just not morning kids! lol.  He'll learn to eventually tone down the crankies, but until that time.. just do what you can to try to make it a happier morning and redirect his attention.

    sjenkins8208
    by Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:15 AM
    Haha my niece has always been a good sleeper. Now that she's older we call her the little teenager. She's 6, but since about age 3, she just sits on the couch all grumpy for a good hour or so after she wakes up. You can't even LOOK at the girl without hearing " stop staring at me!!" In her screechy little voice haha.

    Quoting erinrose07:

      Lol, thank you for the glimmer of hope---that's what I'm hoping for, that it's just a weird phase. I used to be such a morning person, now I just know what's coming, so I dislike mornings quite a bit. I think I'd prefer it if my S/O acted like a turd in the morning because then at least I could ignore him. The little one wants me to fix his despair yet at the same time hates me if I try: womp womp. I just hope it isn't related to a health condition. The thought has never crossed my mind before because I always just said, "welp...this is Dante in the mornings." But today I thought, "Oh my gosh. This can't be human. There must be something wrong." Lol. 

      Quoting sjenkins8208: Awww. He sounds like my husband in the mornings! I don't have any advice except that he will probably grow out of it, or at least learnt not to be so grumpy . Maybe he does just need to lay there and wake up and have some alone time first thing in the mornings. With my husband we just don't talk until after he's had a shower haha.

      My son has ALWAYS been his happiest in he mornings. I mean he wakes up ready to play everyday and he's 6 now. It can be sort of annoying when it's 7am on Sunday and my husband and I want to sleep in and Gavin's dressed and telling us his going to ride his bike to the park with or without us!

      erinrose07
      by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:19 AM

      Thanks for the response. We began timeouts after researching their effectiveness at this age and we decided we'd give it a try to at least see what happens. We ran it buy his doctor first at his 18 mon check up. It says he would be 1.5 minutes for time out since he's a year and a half. 

      I don't know if he really misses me in the mornings, it could be...but if anything he's been growing more independant and less interested in me over the past months. Which is sad, but it's a part of him growing up so I let him have his independance from me. Also, our bedroom is right next to his so my eyes pop open at the first whimper he makes and I'm now trained to just roll out of bed when I hear him.  I'm in there within 2 minutes. I never go in with a bad attitude because I always consider how young children can sense negativity. So I just go in normal: I say hi quietly, I turn off his sound machine and fan, I ask him if he slept good and tell him I missed him...because I genuinely do miss him...and he proceeds to pretty much say: "F off lady!" lol. It isn't until about 15 minutes of this nonsense that I start to get annoyed because literally no matter what I say or do (or don't do) he is pissed off. 

      I might take my moms advice which is to just walk out of his room and tell him I'm going to get his breakfast ready when he does that in the morning. I'll leave the door open and let him just kind of chill for 10 minutes. The banana thing....I don't know how I feel about walking in with a banana and letting him eat it while I change his diaper. I'm all for making life smooth and easy for the little ones, but...I also want him to understand that we eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the table; and that it takes just a couple minutes of patience to get something that we want sometimes (such as the 1 minute it takes to prepare a banana). I think learning that although it's hard to wait for something we want, it's not a cause to panic because we will eventually get what we need. I don't know. It's been a fun ride anyway....

      Quoting jessi2girls:

      a 19 month old has no concept of what a time out its.. too early to start that!! Instead, just firmly and calmly say, no hit, and redirect his attention. And besides 2 mins is too long.. 1 minute per age.. (he's 1, so no more than 1 minute).. and agian, it's irrelevant.. time outs shouldn't start until at least 2.. when the child has more of an understanding of what it is there for.. otherwise you are just making the situation worse.

      As for why he's upset in the mornings.. well, he could just miss you, and could be going through an abandonment phase.. where he's worried that you won't come to get him, and then when you do, he's upset that it took so long...He's still pretty much a baby here and learning about all these emotions and how to deal with them.. and how to react himself..

      Your attitude could be making him more upset too, if you are grumpy, he's going to feed off that.. try going in extra happy with the banana in your hand. Let him hold it while you change him quick, and then put him in the high chair..

      Babies this age, have no sense of time either.. 

      Or some kids are just not morning kids! lol.  He'll learn to eventually tone down the crankies, but until that time.. just do what you can to try to make it a happier morning and redirect his attention.


      jessi2girls
      by Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:27 AM
      1 mom liked this

      Most kids begin to get independant, but they also have their special times where they want just their special someone.. aka mommy.. my kids, it was always at night time, right before bed.. Once in a while they'd go through a phase of cuddling in the morning.. othertimes, it was MOVE OUT OF THE WAY MOM, I"M GOING TO PLAY! lol.

      You don't have to let him eat it when he first wakes up (the banana).. just bring it in, so he knows that's what's coming..  Maybe even a plastic toy banana just so he knows you haven't forgotten, and are getting him ready to go eat. He could just be really hungry in the morning.  

      You could also try giving him a milk, or formula in the morning, while you get everything else ready, just let him chill in his crib with the milk/formula.



      Quoting erinrose07:

      Thanks for the response. We began timeouts after researching their effectiveness at this age and we decided we'd give it a try to at least see what happens. We ran it buy his doctor first at his 18 mon check up. It says he would be 1.5 minutes for time out since he's a year and a half. 

      I don't know if he really misses me in the mornings, it could be...but if anything he's been growing more independant and less interested in me over the past months. Which is sad, but it's a part of him growing up so I let him have his independance from me. Also, our bedroom is right next to his so my eyes pop open at the first whimper he makes and I'm now trained to just roll out of bed when I hear him.  I'm in there within 2 minutes. I never go in with a bad attitude because I always consider how young children can sense negativity. So I just go in normal: I say hi quietly, I turn off his sound machine and fan, I ask him if he slept good and tell him I missed him...because I genuinely do miss him...and he proceeds to pretty much say: "F off lady!" lol. It isn't until about 15 minutes of this nonsense that I start to get annoyed because literally no matter what I say or do (or don't do) he is pissed off. 

      I might take my moms advice which is to just walk out of his room and tell him I'm going to get his breakfast ready when he does that in the morning. I'll leave the door open and let him just kind of chill for 10 minutes. The banana thing....I don't know how I feel about walking in with a banana and letting him eat it while I change his diaper. I'm all for making life smooth and easy for the little ones, but...I also want him to understand that we eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the table; and that it takes just a couple minutes of patience to get something that we want sometimes (such as the 1 minute it takes to prepare a banana). I think learning that although it's hard to wait for something we want, it's not a cause to panic because we will eventually get what we need. I don't know. It's been a fun ride anyway....

      Quoting jessi2girls:

      a 19 month old has no concept of what a time out its.. too early to start that!! Instead, just firmly and calmly say, no hit, and redirect his attention. And besides 2 mins is too long.. 1 minute per age.. (he's 1, so no more than 1 minute).. and agian, it's irrelevant.. time outs shouldn't start until at least 2.. when the child has more of an understanding of what it is there for.. otherwise you are just making the situation worse.

      As for why he's upset in the mornings.. well, he could just miss you, and could be going through an abandonment phase.. where he's worried that you won't come to get him, and then when you do, he's upset that it took so long...He's still pretty much a baby here and learning about all these emotions and how to deal with them.. and how to react himself..

      Your attitude could be making him more upset too, if you are grumpy, he's going to feed off that.. try going in extra happy with the banana in your hand. Let him hold it while you change him quick, and then put him in the high chair..

      Babies this age, have no sense of time either.. 

      Or some kids are just not morning kids! lol.  He'll learn to eventually tone down the crankies, but until that time.. just do what you can to try to make it a happier morning and redirect his attention.



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      by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:44 AM
      1 mom liked this

      Aww hopefully just a stage .. this too shall pass,
      Hugs to you :)

      Night_Roane
      by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:52 AM
      When my DD was 23-26 months she stayed with my parents because I had just left an abusive relationship and just didn't have the resources to care for her.

      They put her in a toddler bed and gated it just outside of the bedroom door, so that she could still leave the room to call for them or get up to play.

      She used to wake up in a HORRIBLE mood, and I never thought that being a morning person could be taught. But if she started whining, my parents would say, "No, you can say 'good morning'. You don't whine."

      And it worked! She suddenly started getting up smiling and saying "good morning". She still (usually) wakes up in a good mood and she's 6 now.
      Alexsi1
      by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 9:55 AM
      1 mom liked this

       Is he still in a crib? If so, maybe convert to a toddler bed so he can wake up and play in his room for a bit before his breakfast. I hope this phase goes by fast for you. Good luck and hang in there.

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