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feel like dh doesnt want our son

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:04 AM
  • 10 Replies
My son is 2 months and he doesn't do anything with him. I get up throughout the night. When we're up I have to force him to hold or do anything with or for him. But when it comes to Our 4 year old daughter he gets up if she cries at night. He plays and cuddles with her.. Why is that?
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cafe MichelleP
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 3:10 PM

Sometimes men are not comfortable with very young babies. Or they just don't know what to do.  Have you tried talking to him about it?

mommy_94
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 3:32 PM
Yes I do. He gets defensive or he says "well it's the women's job" that really gets me heated then lol

Quoting Cafe MichelleP:

Sometimes men are not comfortable with very young babies. Or they just don't know what to do.  Have you tried talking to him about it?

sonshining
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:10 PM

Yeah, my husband also wasn't hands on with our son as an infant. Until he strted giggling, maybe 3 months, then reacting and was able to tickle more, maybe 6 months. Then was very involved when he began crawling, then walking. He is now his whole life. Many men don't bond well with infants. Hang in there, bring him around slowly, ask him to hold him for short periods, he'll warm up.

anon55
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:20 PM

I think some men feel intimidated, especially if you are breastfeeding. My husband is amazing with our kids but in the beginning he would have a tendency to just hand me the baby if he was upset since I had boobs. 

mommy_94
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:13 PM
It wouldn't bother me so much, but our daughter is now acting really bratty because she gets all of her Dads attention that she gets so jealous if he even tries to do anything with our baby.
PinkGlitterBomb
by Member on Jan. 8, 2015 at 2:39 AM
Talk to him about it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
redheadtmk
by on Jan. 8, 2015 at 2:46 AM

how was he when she was an infant? A large amout of men do not enjoy the infant stage. He may have enjoyed your daughter more as an infant because she was the first kid. Now that she is old enough to have a conversation and interact with he may not be interested in an infant that only sleeps, eats, and poops.  That does not mean he doesnt love your son. Everyone has a least favorite stage. personally I really do not like elementary school age. I would talk to him about it. He should be helping you with getting up in the middle of the night.

MJ92490
by on Jan. 8, 2015 at 3:03 AM
1 mom liked this

my SO did the same thing....i think it was a "new borns want mommy" kind of mind set. of course our son wouldn't stand to be touched by once but me. Drove me nuts.
 

EarlGrayHot
by on Jan. 9, 2015 at 10:58 AM

A man would only say that it's women's work ONCE to me.  Fortunately, my dear husband couldn't wait to hold his little girl and always got up to change her before bringing her to me for nursing.  Your hubby needs an attitude adjustment pronto.  He should help by changing at the very least.

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Jan. 9, 2015 at 11:18 AM

often men do not feel comfortable with newborns, they start interracting mostly when the kids are older. Which is probably why he's all over your 4 year old instead.  Count your blessings that he is showing interest in your daughter.  If you're breast feeding your son, maybe your husband feels a little excluded. BF babies tend to be really glued to their mommy.  and men are big babies ... just sayin'

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