Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Playground parents

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2017 at 12:24 AM
  • 7 Replies
I'm just wondering what kind of parent are you when your child or children are playing on the playground? I ask this because there is one particular playground that I have gone to several times with my 2 year old son and I see the same thing every time I go there. Every parent is either on their phone or chatting away with Betty Sue and sitting on their ass. I'm all for taking a break, sitting down', checking your email or making an important phone call. I get that. But these women at this playground don't even look up for two seconds to see what their kid is doing. It's almost like the playground becomes the babysitter and these moms completely check out of all responsibility for their child's actions. My son just turned two so I'm following him around the playground making sure that he is navigating safely, not eating sand, and helping him socialize - figure out how to ask for something, share, wait his turn, etc. - especially since he does not have a lot of language and he needs help communicating. That's my responsibility, to teach him the correct way to play with other children, to model it for him so that he knows what it is supposed to be, to encourage him to share, and give him The words he's looking for to communicate. That's something that unfortunately nobody is born with, it must be taught and modeled for them.
I have found myself helping all these other kids on the playground while their mommies sit on their ass on the bench not even taking two seconds to help their child solve a problem, etc. I'm not expecting anybody to be a helicopter parent but if I looked up and saw another parent talking to my child and basically parenting my child my ass would pop up off that bench so fast to see what's going on. You don't know what somebody else is saying to your kid. I could be saying "you're a little piece of shit, you're a little brat." I'm not, but I could because these parents don't pay attention to anything that's going on. The sad part is it's those kids that are so freaking bratty and obnoxious on the playground. And I can see why, these parents have never taken two minutes to model appropriate behavior on the playground for their children. So sad.
by on Oct. 6, 2017 at 12:24 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
littlepinkrose
by Member on Oct. 6, 2017 at 12:33 AM
I agree my son is 1 so I am with him always. Helping him learn to climb on toys go down the slide all that. Even with my nephew who is 11. He loves it when we play tag or ball. I hate sitting around boring I would rather play.
So, many moms on the phone. Even when their kids call they have to yell mom several times before they say what and,look up.
chicken13
by Member on Oct. 6, 2017 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't judge...maybe that's what their kid needs.  Space and freedom to explore.  

When my dd was little, she had a bone marrow disorder that affected her platelet counts.  Every bump was a giant bruise.  Every scratch bled for hours.  It didn't mean that she shouldn't/couldn't play.  I had plenty of parents that thought I was being cruel for not attending to her wounds.  Our family motto at the time was "if you're not standing in a puddle of blood, you're fine"

I also had plenty of parents who thought I was being neglectful for turning away from where she was playing.  What they didn't know was that I was there with another family and that mom was keeping an eye on her while I kept my back turned...cause every bump was a massive bruise....and every scratch bled for hours.  As a mom, that's crazy making stuff!!!!  And keeping her from playing was the wrong thing to do so that I didn't have a friggin panic attack as she went down the slide.

So....stop judging.  You do you...and let them do them.

Pastalove
by New Member on Oct. 6, 2017 at 4:09 PM
Judging? Not really, just stating a fact unfortunately. I do mine, no problem. Unfortunately them doing them means they're doing nothing and then I have to make up for their lack of parenting and that's not my job. Them doing them means I'm doing their job for them? I'm not saying jump up off the bench when your kid falls down and run to kiss their boo-boo. I'm not talking about letting your child have some freedom away from you. I'm talking about your kid is hitting another kid over the head with a truck and you don't look up once or come over to stop it. I'm talking your kid is throwing sand at everybody else and you do nothing to correct it. I'm talking your kid is knocking everybody else down on the slide causing other kids to get injured and you do nothing. I'm talking other moms like me having to help your child figure out right from wrong while you sit and do nothing. If I'm stating things I have seen every time I go to the playground then how is that being judgemental? If a parent is sitting on their ass not correcting inappropriate behaviors, not modeling appropriate play and social skills how is that judging? You call that them doing them? That's called being a lazy parent who doesn't do shit and doesn't take responsibility for disciplining their child. There are two reasons that I closely follow my two-year-old around on the playground. One is to teach him the correct way to play and socialize with others because that's my job as his mother, not somebody else's. The second reason is to protect him from all those other children that are being neglected by their lazy parents sitting on the bench on the phone. So because they are allowed to do what they want to do now I have a third job. Now I have to teach a total strangers child the appropriate way to play on the playground. Maybe if I was getting paid for that third job I wouldn't be so judgmental as you say.

Quoting chicken13:

I wouldn't judge...maybe that's what their kid needs.  Space and freedom to explore.  

When my dd was little, she had a bone marrow disorder that affected her platelet counts.  Every bump was a giant bruise.  Every scratch bled for hours.  It didn't mean that she shouldn't/couldn't play.  I had plenty of parents that thought I was being cruel for not attending to her wounds.  Our family motto at the time was "if you're not standing in a puddle of blood, you're fine"

I also had plenty of parents who thought I was being neglectful for turning away from where she was playing.  What they didn't know was that I was there with another family and that mom was keeping an eye on her while I kept my back turned...cause every bump was a massive bruise....and every scratch bled for hours.  As a mom, that's crazy making stuff!!!!  And keeping her from playing was the wrong thing to do so that I didn't have a friggin panic attack as she went down the slide.

So....stop judging.  You do you...and let them do them.

TRAVELMOM817
by on Oct. 9, 2017 at 2:09 PM
I took my kids to the park so they could play with other kids and explore on their own in a safe place. I played all day and this was their opportunity to play with someone else
Pastalove
by New Member on Oct. 9, 2017 at 10:07 PM
That's great. I think if the kids are old enough, definitely older than a two-year-old, they should be able to play independently with the other kids. You should be able to take a step back and allow them to explore and be independent. But at the same time you are still responsible for your children's actions. You can't check out 100% and say whatever happens happens and sit back and allow your children to be holy terrors on the playground. That is unfortunately what I am encountering at the playground I go to. Actually the playground I have stopped going to. When my son gets a little bit bigger and he's more physically stable and has more language i'll be taking a step back too but he's still my responsibility so therefore it's not my playtime. You use the words safe place and unfortunately that playground that I have since stopped going to was not very safe. And all the mommies were sitting back on their phones and socializing with each other without a care in the world of what their child was doing.

Quoting TRAVELMOM817: I took my kids to the park so they could play with other kids and explore on their own in a safe place. I played all day and this was their opportunity to play with someone else
Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Oct. 10, 2017 at 2:49 PM

I say it all depends on the age of the child.  When my DD was one or 2 or 3 yes of course I would go to the play ground and watch her and play with her etc when she was 5 or 6 I would go with her to the park and sometimes bring a book with me but constantly glancing.  I accompanied her to the park until she was 10.  To this day I don't let DD hang out at the park by herself, I'll let her go if she's with a friend (or meeting a friend there) and I still never let her go after dark (and she's 13)

Worse yet is that I've noticed some very young kids at the park by themselves, never mind a parent of their phone, I see no parent at all. And that traumatises me. 

hollyah73
by Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 12:50 PM
When my son was 4 and under I was right next to him guiding him making sure he was safe and kind. As he got older I have stepped back because he is an only child and wants to play with other kids and not me. He is almost 8 now and is going through a I’m to cool to need a Mom anywhere near me. So I sit on the bench and sometimes play on my phone but I always know exactly where he is and who he is playing with. I don’t judge other moms at the park because I’m sure some other moms are judging me.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)