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My 13 year old DD just came out to me

Posted by on Dec. 24, 2017 at 11:10 AM
  • 7 Replies
I’ve had suspicions for awhile. Part of me wanted to ignore the signs and hope for her to have an easier path ahead of her. She already has a physical disability. Things are hard for her. Thank God She is intelligent, interesting, kind, and very well rounded. I know she will go on to do great things. I’ve always been her advocate and her biggest fan and I love her with all my heart. I will support her and stand beside her through everything. I just hope my very conservative Christian family and friends don’t make her feel bad. I’m worried about her being ostracized. I’m ready to go to bat though.
Any advice from moms who have been through this?
by on Dec. 24, 2017 at 11:10 AM
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Replies (1-7):
crysmiss83
by Member on Dec. 24, 2017 at 11:59 AM
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crysmiss83
by Member on Dec. 25, 2017 at 1:30 AM
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MonarchMom22
by on Dec. 28, 2017 at 7:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like you have a great daughter and you are doing  your best to be a good Mom. My only advice would be to keep a clear boundary with your family or friends if they are negative.  Let them know right away that your daughter is just fine the way she is, and that you won't tolerate any rejection of her. As long as she knows you are behind her she will be good.

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2018 at 3:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I hear you and I'm exactly like you ... my 13 year old also came out to me and my husband a few weeks back saying she was bi-sexual ... just like you a part of me also wanted to ignore the signs and a part of me still is pretty sure it's a phase.  The girl she claims is her "girlfriend" is a girl from her school whom she has not seen the entire Christmas break, they mostly just send each other little lovey-dovy emojis by messaging. 

But on the up side, at least there is no chance of her getting pregnant.  Hey you gotta look at the positives on this all!  For now, we are all keeping it on the down low.  I told DD I was fine with it and would support her no matter what. 

jky_67
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2018 at 11:58 AM
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I’m glad she has you. I’m just curious because I have a 12 yo boy in 7th grade who has no interest in boys or girls (not in romantic way), how did she know?
crysmiss83
by Member on Jan. 9, 2018 at 7:09 PM
She knew because like your son had zero interest in sex/romance/crushes at all UNTIL she read a book that had romantic undertones between the 2 female characters. It was the first time she had ever felt her heart beat faster, per her admission. She had never felt anything but disgust when there were romantic moments in books or movies until she read that book. She also realized she was attracted to women and only had ever had women crushes but never realized that’s what they were. She just thought maybe she idolized them a bit. She did some research on her feelings over the past couple years and realized she could only ever see herself with another woman.
I don’t know if it’s a phase and she’s perhaps a late bloomer as my parents have suggested. I doubt it. My daughter knows her mind and heart pretty well. I don’t know your son but maybe he is just a late bloomer. Not all kids develope at the same rate when it comes to hormones.

Quoting jky_67: I’m glad she has you. I’m just curious because I have a 12 yo boy in 7th grade who has no interest in boys or girls (not in romantic way), how did she know?
jky_67
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2018 at 10:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you for explaining. I tried thinking back to myself as a tween/teen and I remember my heart fluttering when a cute boy made eye contact but not with a cute girl. I guess you just know. Like I said, I’m glad she has you for support❤️.

Quoting crysmiss83: She knew because like your son had zero interest in sex/romance/crushes at all UNTIL she read a book that had romantic undertones between the 2 female characters. It was the first time she had ever felt her heart beat faster, per her admission. She had never felt anything but disgust when there were romantic moments in books or movies until she read that book. She also realized she was attracted to women and only had ever had women crushes but never realized that’s what they were. She just thought maybe she idolized them a bit. She did some research on her feelings over the past couple years and realized she could only ever see herself with another woman.
I don’t know if it’s a phase and she’s perhaps a late bloomer as my parents have suggested. I doubt it. My daughter knows her mind and heart pretty well. I don’t know your son but maybe he is just a late bloomer. Not all kids develope at the same rate when it comes to hormones.

Quoting jky_67: I’m glad she has you. I’m just curious because I have a 12 yo boy in 7th grade who has no interest in boys or girls (not in romantic way), how did she know?
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