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My stepdaughter - UGH - Vent

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:08 PM
  • 4 Replies

My son ( age 4) and my step daughter (age 5) share a bedroom. Every night, I make my son clean his room. It's never too bad, as we are only home for a few hours a day.

He has to make his bed, and lay out his things for the next day etc.

My step daughter visits every weekend, and throws the biggest tantrums when told to clean the bedroom, and my husband just allows her to not do it. So, I started telling my son not to touch his sisters stuff. Do not pick it up!

My husband told his daughter Saturday, to go in the bedroom and clean up her mess. The second he walked away, she followed him, and did not touch a thing.

This has been going on for months!

I can't even through the shit away, because she doesn't play with her toys, she plays with my son's toys and why should he be punished because she won't clean up when told to? 

So I end up cleaning it up, because my husband won't.

I tried telling her she is not to touch my son's stuff, that doesn't work, because my husband gets it out for her to play with. I tried telling my son, do not share with her - that doesn't work, because he wants to play with her, of course!

I cannot wait until they get their own rooms in May - but even then, she doesn't play with her things. She only plays with my son's things. I am so frustrated by this.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:08 PM
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:16 PM

I would be just as frustrated. My boys share a room right and will till we buy our first house in a few years. My oldest listens very well which I think has something to do with the fact he goes to school, but my youngest does not and getting him to clean without an incentive is ruff. Instead I go behind him and I did this for 21 days and made him pick up what he used or played with at that moment and then he got the idea. I would simply explain to my husband that this does not happen anymore. When he cleans the room and goes behind her to make sure things happen then what happens with the toys and discipline is at your discretion. I know every parent is different but that's one thing I can say, my husband and I are very much on the same page with discipline. 

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:19 PM
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I'm sorry. This seems to be an issue often with siblings that aren't there full time. I think mainly the parent feels guilty for not being there 100% of the time and feels the time the child is there should be for fun only. But you don't stop brushing your teeth when on vacation right? So why would you stop picking up after yourself? I think you néed get your hubby to understand your side of things or nothing will change.
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:24 PM
That's when I would get a trash bag and put it all in She would not get it back for at least two visits
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by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:56 PM
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I wouldn't approach either of the kids with the problem that's going on. When your son goes to bed some night bring it up to your husband and explain how you feel and what he can do to help to fix the problem. I don't think it's a conversation that the kids need to be caught in the middle of. 

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