Forget about Klondike bars -- what would you doo-oo-oo for a Twinkie? That is the question. Because since Hostess announced the iconic snack cake's impending extinction (well, unless somebody buys the company, which is a possibility), people have been in full-on hoarding mode, buying up cases of creme-filled sponge cakes like it's the Twinkie Apocalypse or something.
Look, I'm not gonna lie: I like myself some Twinkies. Still, what would I doo-oo-oo for one? Go to the store and buy a package, I guess. Maybe I would order a box online. Maybe I would even try to find them on eBay, if it came to that. But would I place a bid of $15 million?!
No, of course not -- but somebody WOULD list a box of Twinkies on eBay for $15 million, and a bunch of other somebodies would set similarly high prices for their Twinkies (so far, anywhere from 1 to 21 million bucks). That's right, discontinued Hostess products are apparently worth more on the black market than drugs, diamonds, or human organs. And those are just plain old Twinkies -- can you imagine how much the rare chocolate creme Twinkies will end up going for in a year or so? To say nothing of Zingers, those weird jelly-roll hybrid things. This one is definitely the best deal to date, though:
HOSTESS TWINKIES DELIVERED TO YOU BY THIS ADORABLE YORKSHIRE TERRIER PUPPY!
TWINKIES AND PUPPIES!!!! AWWWW!
Anyway. Assuming you aren't insane wealthy enough to spend millions on a junk food craving, you COULD try making your own version of a Twinkie at home using this Top Secret recipe from Todd Wilbur:
For the cake:
4 egg whites
1 (16-ounce) box golden pound cake mix
2/3 cup water
For the filling:
2 teaspoons very hot water
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups marshmallow creme (1 [7-ounce] jar)
1/2 cup shortening
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Fold each piece of aluminum foil in half twice. Wrap the folded foil around the spice bottle to create a mold. Leave the top of the mold open for pouring in the batter. Make 10 of these molds and arrange them on a cookie sheet or in a shallow pan. Grease the inside of each mold with a light coating of nonstick spray.
Disregard the directions on the box of cake mix. Instead, beat the egg whites until stiff. In a separate bowl combine cake mix with water, and beat until thoroughly blended (about 2 minutes). Fold egg whites into the cake batter and slowly combine until completely mixed.
Pour the batter into the molds, filling each one about 3/4 of an inch. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until the cake is golden brown and a toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean.
For the filling, combine the salt with the hot water in a small bowl and stir until salt is dissolved. Let this mixture cool.
Combine the marshmallow creme, shortening, powdered sugar, and vanilla in a medium bowl and mix well with an electric mixer on high speed until fluffy.
Add the salt solution to the filling mixture and combine.
When the cakes are done and cooled, use a skewer or chopstick to make three holes in the bottom of each one. Move the stick around inside of each cake to create space for the filling.
Using a cake decorator or pastry bag, inject each cake with filling through all three holes.
What would you do for a Twinkie?