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How Do I Help Him??? *Update* Page 3

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:08 PM
  • 30 Replies

DS is taking swim lessons. He took them the year before last, too. He is my MINI-ME! He's afraid but doesn't want to admit he's afraid. He doesn't want to jump in the pool, even with a lifeguard right there waiting to catch him. (though he did do that ONCE today).

I took lessons when I was a kid, too, though I was much older--12 or so, I think--when I finally learned on my own. I'm still not a strong swimmer.

I sat outside the fence at the pool today and fought back tears, watching him face the same demons I did. He has the same personality as me--the same fears. If he would just let go, try to relax, trust the lifeguards, and TRUST HIMSELF, he would be so much better off. Instead, he plays around. Stays at the edge, dog paddles, and doesn't really pay enough attention to what they're telling him to do.

He doesn't like to be pushed. I was always like that, too. How can I convince him that it will be better—EASIER—if he will just listen to them and try harder and FACE HIS FEARS?

:(

Come laugh with me as I fumble my way through cooking around my new-found food allergies: A Side Order of Nothing

eating

by on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KTMOM
by on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:09 PM

Maybe having you there makes it worse?  What would happen if you left and told him you trusted him to be a big boy and do it all on his own?  I find sometimes my son is MORE anxious trying things with me hovering.

lukesmyboy
by Christina on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:10 PM

I would let him take his time.

RobynS
by Mama2CamKat on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:17 PM

I wondered about that today. Every now and then he would look over at me or even call to me wanting me to watch something he was doing--which he was very proud of, but it wasn't what he was supposed to be doing. Maybe I'll take DD to the playground tomorrow during his lessons.

Quoting KTMOM:

Maybe having you there makes it worse?  What would happen if you left and told him you trusted him to be a big boy and do it all on his own?  I find sometimes my son is MORE anxious trying things with me hovering.


RobynS
by Mama2CamKat on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:18 PM

I think that's the right idea. DH can be pushy though... I'm a bit worried that DH is going to push him too hard and scare him even more. :(

Quoting lukesmyboy:

I would let him take his time.


MommaClark3
by on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:24 PM

~*Giggles*~... my five year old is going through this, and he flunked out of his swimming lessons, but the card they give states what they need to know and when! I've been hitting spraygrounds (public parks with water features)... and wading pools like the one yesterday... Antelope Aquatic Complex

I blogged some pics... where as my four year old is fearless

~*Beverly*~
http://www.motherofallboyz.blogspot.com

RobynS
by Mama2CamKat on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:26 PM

Oooh, that looks like fun! My DS loves places like that--where he can just play in the water. He loves fountains, etc. But the actual swimming scares him.

Quoting MommaClark3:

~*Giggles*~... my five year old is going through this, and he flunked out of his swimming lessons, but the card they give states what they need to know and when! I've been hitting spraygrounds (public parks with water features)... and wading pools like the one yesterday... Antelope Aquatic Complex

I blogged some pics... where as my four year old is fearless

~*Beverly*~
http://www.motherofallboyz.blogspot.com


itsallabtthem84
by ~B~ on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:56 PM

I agree with this.

Quoting lukesmyboy:

I would let him take his time.


styler7
by Member on Jul. 12, 2011 at 1:59 PM

I think that's something the child has to decide on doing...tough but a fear is a fear :(

RobynS
by Mama2CamKat on Jul. 12, 2011 at 3:18 PM

Yeah, I totally agree--especially since I completely understand his fears. But it's not fair for him to mess around at lessons and do his own thing, either. Even if he's scared to do what they're doing (diving board, etc), he still needs to pay attention. He got a little too comfortable with the lifeguard today and kept stealing her sunglasses. She was very patient with him, but I was not pleased with his behavior. :(

Quoting styler7:

I think that's something the child has to decide on doing...tough but a fear is a fear :(


Barabell
by on Jul. 12, 2011 at 3:39 PM

I agree with giving him his room and letting him take his time. Good luck!

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