Should single moms wait to date?

[flowerfunleah]

I don't know if any of you listened to Dr. Laura when she was on the radio(i think that woman is some kind of bi-polar but I loved her show!) but a lot of women would call in with young children and *gasp!* dating problems.

Dr. Laura always had a very strict policy when it comes to having young children (and that's any child under the age of 18) and dating: don't.

It was her opinion (in much more blatant terms) that if you're irresponsible enough to have children with a man that you felt you couldn't be together with then you weren't responsible enough to try dating another man. She felt it was best for the child's mental health that they concentrate on the children and not at all on their romantic fancies.

What do you think? Should single moms wait to date?

[TristanMitchael]

What? That is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while! I'd say the bigger picture is practice safe sex next time but to not date at all is crazy.

[Jnc91]

Who knows the reason why the mom is single. Her hubby could have died or cheated and she divorced him. Neither her fault. As long as single moms can keep that part of her life separate from her kids she should be able to date. Unlike my neighbor... Her bf deployed overseas and she now has a different guy everyday over there sucking face while her kid runs in the street. It's a pot house too and she had her 2 other kids taken away already. Smh. Oops a little off topic:)

[Gweneveer]

I dont think that they should wait.  I think its entirely up to the mom and her situation.

That said, I dont think I could date until my girls were older.  Not necessarily 18, but definitely older.  I dont trust anyone around my kids.  Ever.  And thats just me being paranoid, lol.  Nothing has happened to me to make me feel this way.  I just think ALOT of sick men target single moms to try to date so that they can get to their kids and do bad things.  Ugh, it makes me sick to even think about!

[mjimaging]

I think the key here was under 18 and I think I agree. Teenagers shouldn't be having babies and if they had an oops under 18 I do think they should concentrate on everything else before dating. School, baby, work. Those things. Now there would be the exception where maybe you have a completely responsible teen that was in a commutes relationship and something did happen but they make straight a's an take good care of their child. I think at any age, dating should be something you do when you've taken care of your needs, ie: don't miss work and get fired, don't leave baby with grandma every night to go out. The mom has to be responsible and a child who meets several guys before mom lands the one, can get confused.

[mjimaging]

Maybe I read that wrong...I still like my answer though :)

[graceflsdown]

i agree a lot with what you're saying.  i think i'd be scared to death about getting a sicko, then not being able to forgive myself.

Quoting Gweneveer:

I dont think that they should wait.  I think its entirely up to the mom and her situation.

That said, I dont think I could date until my girls were older.  Not necessarily 18, but definitely older.  I dont trust anyone around my kids.  Ever.  And thats just me being paranoid, lol.  Nothing has happened to me to make me feel this way.  I just think ALOT of sick men target single moms to try to date so that they can get to their kids and do bad things.  Ugh, it makes me sick to even think about!

[graceflsdown]

what about those women who had in vitro or iui and choose to be single mothers, or those who haven't found mr. right yet?  

i think this lady is a tad extreme.

[MommyAkaTiffany]

I disagree!

[mami2emily]

I don't think they should wait; however, I do think they should take it slow and wait till they know it's te real thing before introducing the person to their children. I know countless single moms who start dating someone and immediately introduce them to their kids. I really think its wrong because then you have people in and out of your kids life.

[ForeverInLove]

I married the man of my dreams when my son was just over a year old... We started dating when my son was 3ish months old. We may have moved fast, but we knew. We will be celebrating 4 years of a great marriage this year.