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Kinda tricky. Please help! *Crazy update in blue* TODAY WAS PARTY DAY

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 2:32 PM
  • 34 Replies

I need your advice. Miah's 4th birthday party is on March 16th @ Chuck E Cheese. I invited the kids she wanted to come and their parents, along with selective family members. I didn't invite her Great Grandmother and her husband on Dh's side. They like to play favorites in the family and they make it loud and clear that Miah isn't one of them. Dh's mom is VERY close to her mother and I know if I don't invite her, I won't hear the end of it. I don't think she deserves to come, seeing how she's never really made an effort to get to know Miah or spend time with her like the other great grand kids. Last week, we had a family birthday party for one of Miah's little cousins. The Great Grandmother didn't show up because it was a "kid party," but turned around and went to another Great Grandchild's school concert. I've never liked the way she treated Miah, but I also gave her the benefit of the doubt. What do you think I should do? Should I invite her and waste the money, because she probably won't come, OR should I not even tell her at all and risk other family members telling her and having her feelings hurt?


UPDATE: She ended up hearing about the party from my MIL (saw that coming). Anyway, she asked my MIL to ask me if she could bring a child to Dd's birthday party! What kind of crap is that?! I told MIL to let her know that she's more than welcome to come, but she can't bring a child to Miah's party. I told her it was a party for close family and MIAH'S friends. MIL then proceeded to tell me that  the Great Grandmother would probably pay for the other child. I told her that was NOT okay, seeing how it's a family event and the child she wants to bring isn't family. Don't try and use my child's party as a chance to take somebody else's kid out to play when you don't pay attention to your REAL grand kids! Ugh! I know this is just going to cause a shit storm down the road, but I had to put my foot down and I'm glad I did. If she doesn't show up, it's not going to hurt my feelings or anybody else's, but it'll show me who she truly cares about.


Party Day 3/16:

Well, today was the party and everybody came, besides the Great Grandmother! Surprise, surprise!! Dh's cousin came with her 2 boys and we're really close. I asked her where the Great Grandmother was, and she told me that she talked to her earlier, and she got all snotty and said that nobody told her when or where the party was. THAT'S BULLSHIT! She was told about 2 weeks in advance by her own daughter (my Mil). It's fine though, we had a great time without her. DH was pissed that she was going around telling the family that nobody told her about it, but hey, she likes to run her mouth and sooner or later that's going to catch up with her. Anyway, Dd played tons of games, got great gifts and had so much fun with her friends. I'm still surprised that all her friends came :) My best friend's son is Chuckie (her party was at Chuck E Cheeses) so she got a little special treatment from him. We used at least 80 tokens while we were there, and still came home with over 300 LOL (we didn't buy ANY tokens, only the ones that came with the party package). He was giving her handfuls of tokens at a time. I'll try and post some pics later.

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by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 2:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SassyWildflower
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:14 PM

honestly, if she didn't treat my child well, she wouldn't be invited.

Good luck with it!!

tatuchick4u2c
by Misty on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I would say just tell her your having the party but that it's a kid party and since she didnt come to the other cousins that you wont be seeing her at Miah's either lol


piercedbeauty21
by Shaye on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:01 PM
It bothers me because I go out of my way to tell her about special events and parties that Miah has, and she turns around and tells the family that I'm keeping Miah away from her! I'm really over this woman and I'm thinking about letting Dh deal with her.

Quoting SassyWildflower:

honestly, if she didn't treat my child well, she wouldn't be invited.

Good luck with it!!

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diaperstodating
by Angel on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:03 PM
Don't invite her.
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momofsixangels
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 5:40 PM

If she is like that I wouldnt invite her.But then again I wouldnt want to start a family war

HisSweetheart07
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly - I'd extend the invite and say "This will be a kid's party at Chuck E Cheese". 

That way if she complains about you "keeping her away" you can say "I invited you, you're the one who turned down the time to spend with her."

But then again I'm definately the type when pushed - pushes back. lol My in-laws play favorites, so now I'll post everything we're doing and when online (in our family's group) and when they talk about how much they miss them,etc I always make it clear that everyone in our family knows of these events MONTHS before we do them so there's absolutely no guilt on my end as to if YOU see YOUR grandchildren. :) 

Emeraldmama7
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 7:25 PM

First off, happy birthday to your little princess!!!!  She is adorable!

Based on my experience in my life, I would not invite her.  I'm a people pleaser and I often let others walk all over me....until you hurt my kids in the process.  Playing favorites is not cool and my MIL does that too.  In my case though it was that MIL wouldn't accept my girls from my previous marriage and never cared to bond with my kids with her son either.  All she cared about were his two from a previous marriage.  She would come to MY house and bring my step-kids tons of balloons and toys for the parties I gave them...then a month later bring nothing for my kids' parties.  Same with x-mas.  So, we cut her out of our life.  I lost my SIL as a friend when we did, but as the years passed she came to see what her mother had done to my children.  We are now "friends" but will never be close....and I'm ok with that.  My MIL was not invited to my 3yr olds birth either.  She has started to come around (now that she sees how awesome my kids are!  LOL) but I will always be very weary of her. 

hugss
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by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:06 AM

This .. good luck & let us know what you decide :)

Quoting tatuchick4u2c:

I would say just tell her your having the party but that it's a kid party and since she didnt come to the other cousins that you wont be seeing her at Miah's either lol




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SassyWildflower
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:30 AM

she sounds like a nasty person..I'd rather just have to deal with whatever comes of it than have her around my kid. 


Quoting piercedbeauty21:

It bothers me because I go out of my way to tell her about special events and parties that Miah has, and she turns around and tells the family that I'm keeping Miah away from her! I'm really over this woman and I'm thinking about letting Dh deal with her.

Quoting SassyWildflower:

honestly, if she didn't treat my child well, she wouldn't be invited.

Good luck with it!!


piercedbeauty21
by Shaye on Feb. 24, 2013 at 8:30 PM
That's what I'm worried about. My MIL lives right across the street, so it's not like I can avoid her. She likes to hold a grudge too. When Miah turned 1 I didn't have a huge party for her, but I did take her to my parent's house to see them. When we came home that night, she come over, threw Miah's gift at me and told me that I was selfish. Like seriously?! I'm so over all this crap. I haven't had not one stress free birthday yet, and with me being pregnant again I'm just done.

Quoting momofsixangels:

If she is like that I wouldnt invite her.But then again I wouldnt want to start a family war

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