Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Lending money...

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2011 at 2:22 PM
  • 10 Replies
  • 385 Total Views

 Do you have any personal guidelines for lending money to others?

At what point do you realize you're doing more than your share for that person (money wise)?

If you found out a person was lending THEIR money to their friends then comming to you to borrow money cause their friends didn't pay the money back, would you go ahead and give the person the money they wanted to borrow?

Would you lend the same person money every week?

by on Jul. 30, 2011 at 2:22 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
jaydensmomma707
by on Jul. 30, 2011 at 4:15 PM

hahaha I am usually pretty nice about lending money if I have and if its a friend tend to not care if they pay it back. My husband and our friends all owe each other money. Like my husband owes his friend 5 dollars and his wife just gave me 22 in gas. However they have barrowe from us and I gave her a place to stay while they were deployed and helped pay for her to her new house.

Undomesticated
by Group Owner on Jul. 30, 2011 at 4:26 PM

Lending friends and family money is such an iffy situation.

We have loaned money to some of DH's cousins, and they have always ran out on us, never to call us or anything again.  So, we know we're not getting that money back.  They see us, and they run.  And it's not like we hassle them for the money.  We do visit with them.  But, there are times when money is very tight with us, and we'll ask, hey, just by chance, do you have such and such that we loaned to you, cause we really don't have the money for food this week.  And they get up and leave without a word.

We haven't loaned money to a friend yet.  But, we have had money loaned to us by friends.  There are 3 friends that I don't know where we would be without them.  In fact, DH's boss loaned us money to pay for our wedding.  He could care less if we ever pay him back.  We obviously will, but it's nice to know that we have friends that are kind enough to loan us the money when we absolutely need it.

othermom
by on Jul. 30, 2011 at 6:46 PM

Don't lend money that you can't afford to not get back. If a person keeps coming back to borrow stuff I tell them no, especailly if they are not trying to better themselves. Heck no I would not lend to them if they keep lending out their money when they can't afford to. No i would not lend the same person money each week, but I  might see if there is something I need done that I can pay them for such as baby sitting or something like that

pebbles98
by on Jul. 30, 2011 at 11:54 PM

 You may not mind if you get payed back but your friends are clearly nice to find some way to pay you back regardless. Sounds like you all are helping each other out in way or another which is great. The circle of kindness is definitely moving in a positive direction  :) I love that!

Quoting jaydensmomma707:

hahaha I am usually pretty nice about lending money if I have and if its a friend tend to not care if they pay it back. My husband and our friends all owe each other money. Like my husband owes his friend 5 dollars and his wife just gave me 22 in gas. However they have barrowe from us and I gave her a place to stay while they were deployed and helped pay for her to her new house.

 

pebbles98
by on Jul. 30, 2011 at 11:59 PM

My husband and I never lend to people who are like that. It's disrespectful for people to behave that way toward someone who has helped them.. imo. I think if the borrowing person can't repay the money then work it off, cut the grass or something.

Before my husband got his current job we always repayed everything we borrowed no matter what. We never wanted anyone to feel as if they were being taken advantage of. Plus if anything was ever needed by any party we wanted the vibe and favors to be reciprocated with trust.

Quoting Undomesticated:

Lending friends and family money is such an iffy situation.

We have loaned money to some of DH's cousins, and they have always ran out on us, never to call us or anything again.  So, we know we're not getting that money back.  They see us, and they run.  And it's not like we hassle them for the money.  We do visit with them.  But, there are times when money is very tight with us, and we'll ask, hey, just by chance, do you have such and such that we loaned to you, cause we really don't have the money for food this week.  And they get up and leave without a word.

We haven't loaned money to a friend yet.  But, we have had money loaned to us by friends.  There are 3 friends that I don't know where we would be without them.  In fact, DH's boss loaned us money to pay for our wedding.  He could care less if we ever pay him back.  We obviously will, but it's nice to know that we have friends that are kind enough to loan us the money when we absolutely need it.

 

pebbles98
by on Jul. 31, 2011 at 12:13 AM

 See, you're getting it. I'm in a terrible situation with my uncle. He isn't doing anything to better himself in any way what so ever. He borrows money from his mom, my mom and us. Sometimes even lies to us so that the others don't know hes borrowed money from the others. I've caught him lying to his mom about why he needs the money. He never pays back his mom or my mom. Only me but never when he says he will. I base my ability to lend the money on when he says he's going to give it back.  He'll ask me for $10 then when I say yes he'll say well, can I push my luck and get $20 instead. And it's like I just said he could have $10 AND I bought both his kids stuff they would need for their week at camp (that he doesn't have to pay me back for and he complained about cause I didn't buy the right brand) but still he wants more. He occasionally throws BBQs ...we're never invited... never! He actually punished his son cause his son invited my kids over for their 4th of July BBQ. According to my uncle it was a "local" cookout only. Which was just a nice way of saying my kids are not and were not invited. I've given him a LR suit, a bed, silverware, dishes, curtains (which he complained about cause he didn't like the pattern). I've offered him (and his friend) odd jobs around our house for pay but he doesn't want to do them. I've even caught him stealing metal to sell off my dads property. I honestly don't mind helping others at all. I'm happy to do it but I think we've passed the point of helping are deep in the territory of getting taken advantage of.  

Quoting othermom:

Don't lend money that you can't afford to not get back. If a person keeps coming back to borrow stuff I tell them no, especailly if they are not trying to better themselves. Heck no I would not lend to them if they keep lending out their money when they can't afford to. No i would not lend the same person money each week, but I  might see if there is something I need done that I can pay them for such as baby sitting or something like that

 

ginger813
by on Jul. 31, 2011 at 11:09 PM

Normally, we try to help people out whenever we can, and haven't ever had any problems with anyone, except DH's brother. He used to come to us ALL THE TIME for money, but getting it back was always a hassle. The last time he borrowed money from us, (which was about $100, I think) he tried to argue with us that he only borrowed half the amount that he actually did. Then, he had the nerve to come over to our house bragging about the brand new speakers he bought for his car (obviously he did not need those!). When we asked him about our money, he said he didn't have it. We told him he was never getting any money from us ever again, and he hasn't. That was several years ago. He has asked us several times since to borrow money, but we always tell him no.

pebbles98
by on Aug. 1, 2011 at 1:05 PM

 That totally sounds like something my uncle would do. He lied to his mom by telling her his vehicle was broke down, needed $200 to buy parts. He actually wanted the money to drive to Tn, buy fancy fireworks, and all the stuff for his local cookout on the 4th of July. Kinda giggled when 2 wks later, his vehicle actually did break down. Karma.

And when he has a gf he borrows even more money from all us. I found out he pays for everything! With one relationship it was him, his 2 kids, his gf and her 3 kids were going to dinner and a movie (like every wkend) and he's paying for all of them all the time even though she offers to help pay. He would run out of money than ask everyone else for what they had. I really don't mind helping people out but I'm feeling more like a bank and like my family is being taken advantage of.

ginger813
by on Aug. 1, 2011 at 2:50 PM

wow. yeah, I would not be loaning money to somebody who acts like that! I think that at some point, we have all messed up and overspend and then had to figure out what the heck we are gonna do now. Some people just seem to have no concept of money management at all though. If everyone stopped loaning him money all the time, he might just figure out that he can't afford to do that! I know I certainly can't afford to go out to eat every week, so we don't!

Quoting pebbles98:

 That totally sounds like something my uncle would do. He lied to his mom by telling her his vehicle was broke down, needed $200 to buy parts. He actually wanted the money to drive to Tn, buy fancy fireworks, and all the stuff for his local cookout on the 4th of July. Kinda giggled when 2 wks later, his vehicle actually did break down. Karma.

And when he has a gf he borrows even more money from all us. I found out he pays for everything! With one relationship it was him, his 2 kids, his gf and her 3 kids were going to dinner and a movie (like every wkend) and he's paying for all of them all the time even though she offers to help pay. He would run out of money than ask everyone else for what they had. I really don't mind helping people out but I'm feeling more like a bank and like my family is being taken advantage of.


pebbles98
by on Aug. 1, 2011 at 4:26 PM

 Yeah I've been slowly comming to the conclusion that the is more him having horrible money management skills and that the problem is less of him just needing true help to get by. When I talk to others (who less willing to give) they always tell me the same thing.. dont give anything to anyone ever! I can't do that though. But then I also have to deal with guilt if I don't help others who I think really need it after they ask me for it. I guess I just wanted reassurance that by telling my uncle "no" I was making him manage his money and get his priorities in order, not that I was just being mean and selfish.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)