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The In-laws and feeding my 1 year old junk-food

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 7:12 PM
  • 19 Replies

Hey Everyone! So I need advice, desperatly. My daughter is 1 year old and my Inlaws have been feeding her junkfood (donuts, cookies, lollipop, coffee etc) everytime my boyfriend and I leave her with them. We are very pro- healthy foods since she has been born. 

We have tried asking them nicely to please stop several times, then we went to the measures of not allowing them to watch her and told them the exact reason. But the other day we left her for 20 minutes and there she was suckng on a lollipop jumping up and down screaming all sugared up. 

What should I say to the people who try and shove junkfood in my daughters mouth?

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 7:12 PM
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by Bethany on Feb. 25, 2012 at 9:25 PM
It doesn't seem like there is anything you can say to them. As much as it sucks to not have them for childcare, I would just tell them they are no longer allowed to watch her because they refuse to follow your rules about what she eats.
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by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 10:35 PM

Since we don't have local grandparents we let them give the kids whatever they want when we do see them. Obviously your situation is a little different, but I would say you just have to limit the time they are around your daughter. 

by New Member on Feb. 25, 2012 at 10:43 PM

Well we see them a lot. It is pretty much everyone on his side and my family isnt out here so when we need a babysitter there the only ones there. His family has a history of weight issues and everything that comes with that. I just don't want my daughter to have weight issues or even have to worry about diabetes etc.

by Member on Feb. 26, 2012 at 1:13 AM

 I wouldn't let them watch her, even if it meant not having a babysitter.  Maybe they'd get the point eventually.

by New Member on Feb. 26, 2012 at 5:10 AM

It's hard.  My dad does the same things (and has the same health issues) for my sisters' kids.  I'm scared he will do the same for mine (4 mo. right now).  He currently lives with my younger sister (who has two kids, ages 3 and 4).  She has had many talks with him about their diet at home.  He says he understands, but then he'll buy something where you know his judgement is skewed.  (He said for a while that he had the right to give them sweets because of his grandfather status--fortunately, he's recounted that).  (It doesn't help that her husband has his own health issues and reasons for giving his kids sweets, which doubles the amount of sweets her kids are exposed to...)  A lot of it has to do with his growing up--back in their day, a lot was not known about health issues (like we have today), and people tend to stick to their comfort foods (especially here in the South).  It takes a lot of patience.  You would think that letting grandparents take care of kids during non-eating times would help, but that just gives and open door to snack-time.  Unfortunately, just being direct and open about it with the grandparents is the best.  You can still do this while being kind.  Maybe have a serious talk with them, without first stating that you're removing their privilige of caring for their grandchild.  Say that you want them to be able to spend time with her, and that you need them as well, but they keep disrespecting your and your daughter's needs.  Explain why you prefer to eat healthy, and what is healthy.  Then let them know if they agree to respect your wishes, you are more than willing to let them babysit.  Dealing with in-laws is tricky, I know.  Personally, I would let your bf do as much as of the talking as possible, and help him when you can.  My bf is incredibly clear to his (already somewhat healthy) parents, so I really only have to worry about my dad.  If you keep having these problems, is there a friend near-by or a neighbor who would be able to help with the babysitting?  Do you send your own snacks with your daughter when they watch her?  (even for a 20 min babysitting, it will at least show the grandparents what you consider a okay snack)  (if you have a specific snack time, maybe the babysitting time can be planned around that? if they distinctly feel the need of feeding your daughter, for whatever reason)

Good luck :-)


by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 11:12 AM

You have a couple of options, on how to handle these selfish brats. 

1 - no more unsupervised visits, ever.

2 - get a note from the doctor stating that your child is allergic to artificial colors, high fructose corn syrup, etc.

3 - you, your spouse and his parent can have family counseling; the communication amongst the four of you is not working

by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 5:03 PM

I would start leaving healthy snacks with them and ask them to only give her what you have left. Or talk to them and try to compromise, like she can have 1 unhealthy snack once a week or something. Good luck!

by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 7:01 PM

We had that problem as well. The only way we got them to stop is not to leave our kids there anymore. 

by Member on Feb. 26, 2012 at 7:06 PM
This is a great idea! Check out whole foods or Trader Joe's maybe even organic isle at grocery store for healthy choices. Also maybe tell them she may have a treat after lunch or dinner. My family has a hard time w this as we eat healthy and they don't. One kinda good thing with us and this situation is they don't live near by.
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by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 10:13 PM
I would pay someone for babysitting services from now on cause I wouldn't be leaving my child with people who couldn't follow my rules
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