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Monday Mantra: Tough Talks Are...Tough

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Often, they seem to come at bedtime: "Mama, what does Heaven look like?" Or they come when you are rushing around, getting dressed after your shower: "Mama, why do you have hair there?" Or just while you are eating dinner: ‘Mama, how did Maddy's mom get the baby in her belly?"

They are the questions that can lead to what I call tough talks. The talks and the answers you give often will vary depending on how old your child is, but all of the experts agree you have to have some sort of talk no matter the age.

These are ones that stump most parents and just surfing around groups here on Café Mom, you see all of us turning to each other for a little guidance, a little help, a little BTDT virtual hug. Whether it is death and Heaven or private parts and body image, you want to be prepared - or at least as prepared as you can be for something like this.

The main thing, I guess, is to be honest and be appropriate for your kids' ages.  A talk about body image will be different for a five-year-old than it is for a 12-year-old (as it should be!), but believe me, it happens at all ages in between. Our main goal as moms: to be comforting and reassuring no matter the topic and to encourage your kids to ask you these tough questions. The worst thing would be if your child felt he couldn't talk to you or was afraid to ask you whatever pops into his mind. This is a vital and an important habit to start now: honest and open family conversations.

This week, we'll tackle more specifics and give each other ideas on how to handle tough talks.

What was the toughest thing you child has asked you so far?

© JGould

by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Replies (21-23):
by on Mar. 14, 2012 at 2:34 PM

The toughest question DD asked was "Am I going to get cancer?" We had just lost my uncle, MIL and a close family friend who was only 9 to cancer. 

by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:42 PM

The toughest thing for me is my daughter asking when I am going to die (shes 4)

by New Member on Apr. 20, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Our dog had just been run over. My 3 yr old goddaughter asked if she could be run over too so she could be with her puppy.

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