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Teaching Kids Healthy Habits Teaching Kids Healthy Habits

How do you talk to your kids about appropriate relationships?

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:04 AM
  • 11 Replies

Parents Shouldn't Need Advice on Keeping Creepy Old Dudes Away From Their Daughters

Posted by Jeanne Sager on June 14, 2012 

Baby Can Wait Snake PSAMmm. There's nothing like photos of teenage girls covered in rats and snakes to make you lose your lunch. But as startling as the images used in a new "Baby Can Wait" PSA campaign to discourage statutory rape are, who they're directed at leaves me unimpressed.

The ads from the United Way of Greater Milwaukee are trying to scare parents with a warning that older men having sex with their daughters isn't just "creepy." Those rats and snakes are committing statutory rape.

Uh. Duh.

Pardon the naivete here, but are there really parents who don't know that old dudes need to steer clear of little girls? If so, please, get them a meeting with CPS pronto.

The ads certainly make you stop and read the words to figure out why in the heck a teenage girl would allow a photographer to wrap a big ol' snake around her neck or (shudder) let rats run up her shirt. They could certainly be used to scare the crap out of teen girls who need to be reminded that dating a college guy or -- God forbid -- someone even older is not romantic. It's just plain creepy. He's a rat, a snake, and possibly a pedophile.

So why do the ads direct parents to a Baby Can Wait website where they can "learn how to encourage healthy relationships"? I mean, I think it's for parents. Kids don't "encourage" themselves to do something, right? If this is kid-directed, the language is awfully awkward.

I say this having dated -- and eventually marrying -- a guy who was several years older: parents don't need this message. Kids do. KIDS need to be taught about the intentions of an adult who wants to date down, waaaaay down, the age scale.

Parents should be able to separate predator from "appropriate" a mile away. My then-boyfriend was four years older when I was 16 going on 17, approaching the age of consent in New York. My parents kept a careful eye on things because although we kept it legal, the age difference "just" skirted the line.

That's any parent's job. And sadly, the ones who wouldn't do it probably wouldn't be swayed by a creepy campaign ad anyway.

But I remember being that teenage girl enamored with an older guy. I was smart. I was headed to a good college. I got good grades. I never got in trouble. But the way I saw it, age was just a number. That's the way most teenagers operate.

So you can scare parents all you want with creepy ads. But I think we're already scared enough. Now we'd like someone to help us scare our kids.

How do you talk to your kids about appropriate relationships?

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
VisionSeeker
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:07 AM

 Luckily my eldest DS is not really into girls yet.  They're pretty but still have cooties :)  My twins are four so we've talked about strangers and offering candy etc.  Believe me, this topic will be covered when it's time.

PoehlerBear1983
by Meghan on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:46 AM
My kids are not even close to that age yet
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fullxbusymom
by Member on Jun. 15, 2012 at 11:19 AM

Well I know several of my friends that have married much older my best friends husband is 10yrs older than her and they have been happily married for 16yrs and 6 kids later.  I grew up with a couple that was 20yrs differnce.  So I won't be telling my kids they can only date within a certain age bracket, they will fall for whomever they fall for. 

nngmommy83
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:52 PM

we just are very open with her about things. We tend to bring things up as we find examples for her to compare them too

abra
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:56 PM
Our kids are still young (ages 6 and under), but I honestly think the best defense is to love your kids and make sure they know they are loved and secure so they aren't so vulnerable to those kinds of situations.
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batjmom
by Sarah on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:36 PM
Same here

Quoting nngmommy83:

we just are very open with her about things. We tend to bring things up as we find examples for her to compare them too

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batjmom
by Sarah on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:36 PM
Well said

Quoting abra:

Our kids are still young (ages 6 and under), but I honestly think the best defense is to love your kids and make sure they know they are loved and secure so they aren't so vulnerable to those kinds of situations.
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timon95
by Betty on Jun. 15, 2012 at 11:20 PM


Quoting batjmom:

Well said

Quoting abra:

Our kids are still young (ages 6 and under), but I honestly think the best defense is to love your kids and make sure they know they are loved and secure so they aren't so vulnerable to those kinds of situations.


family car

bethany169
by Bethany on Jun. 15, 2012 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I totally agree. I grew up in Milwaukee and they have all these ridiculous campaigns coming out (like the safe sleep one that just tanked a couple months ago) because there are some serious, serious issues like this in the community. But the issues are so much more deep-seated than anything that can be fixed by a poster and there is just nothing being done about it. It's one of the most segregated cities in the country, there are no jobs in the inner city, and the poverty and violence cycle is never ending.

Sorry, went on a tangent there :) But I think these posters are ridiculous and completely ineffective.


Quoting abra:

Our kids are still young (ages 6 and under), but I honestly think the best defense is to love your kids and make sure they know they are loved and secure so they aren't so vulnerable to those kinds of situations.

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abra
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:49 AM
I agree. It's like those "the more you know" commericals with celebs explaining diseases and stuff.

Quoting bethany169:

I totally agree. I grew up in Milwaukee and they have all these ridiculous campaigns coming out (like the safe sleep one that just tanked a couple months ago) because there are some serious, serious issues like this in the community. But the issues are so much more deep-seated than anything that can be fixed by a poster and there is just nothing being done about it. It's one of the most segregated cities in the country, there are no jobs in the inner city, and the poverty and violence cycle is never ending.



Sorry, went on a tangent there :) But I think these posters are ridiculous and completely ineffective.




Quoting abra:

Our kids are still young (ages 6 and under), but I honestly think the best defense is to love your kids and make sure they know they are loved and secure so they aren't so vulnerable to those kinds of situations.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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