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no longer... confused, jaded, lost... could be just pms but boy it sucks *edited :)

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:05 PM
  • 1 Replies

This is not the first day I've spent trying to figure out what to do. Some people would say, stop thinking and just do it. As if that tells me what I should do. 

First. I need a mark on the map. Where is it I'm headed?

Second. I make my plan of attack. How am I going to get there?

That is how my brain works. That to me is easy. My problem right now is I don't know where I'm going. There is no way to know which direction to go if you don't have even an inkling of where you're going. What to pack, what to leave behind, how long it'll take. All the what's don't matter if you don't know where. 

Of course there is the pointless road trip. The one you pack extra money, a jacket for foul weather and a cooler full of food. See what happens when it happens. I'm not very good at those though. Not when you have children, home and obligations. Just flying without a radar is impossible when you have so much responsibility. 

I need a destination. Otherwise I'm just lost and driving in circles.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:05 PM
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Replies (1-1):
justahousewife
by on May. 14, 2012 at 1:42 PM
1 mom liked this

I've been thinking desperately about where I wanted to go in life, where I wanted to see myself. The last couple of weeks I've been slowly coming to a conclusion. This weekend I stumbled upon those answers, I finally realized where I wanted to be and I haven't been this happy in a long time because I've arrived, I'm here; I'm at home. It was like I was standing outside my own door for a long time but couldn't find the right key. There is no more traveling to be done. 

Where is Home?

I am a Significant Other: In love with a man who finds me important enough to go out of his way to prove it; I am significant in his eyes, he proved it. I am a Mommy: Unconditionally devoted to being mom; I will never be 'too busy' again. I am Plain Ole Me: The girl who is the keeper of a barn yard, garden and kitchen; not a chef, a farmer nor a crunchy mom, just a passionate foodie.

I am at home.

What to do now?

Go out of my way to make him feel important; he is significant, I will prove it. Keep myself accessible to my children; they are my life and the future (who could think of 'me' when you have the future in your hands?). Keep being the me that I've come to know; love myself for all my oddities, because that's who me is.

Happy day. :)

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