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Maybe I'm not cut out for relationships

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

It seems that no matter what I do I can't ever be happy.  I don't even know whose fault it is.  I don't even think it is anyone's fault. 

I can't handle his drinking anymore.  I can't stand that no matter what he won't ever like my son.  I hate that I can't love him like he needs to be loved.  I feel like I have let him down in our relationship.  I am tired of fighting, arguing, bickering, etc...  When we are together we argue.  It seems the only time he takes me serious is when I tell him he needs to leave.

I don't even know if I want him to leave or stay.  I love him, but I hate him at the same time.  Truth is... I don't think I can move past all of the hurt.  He wants to work it out, but we always end up at this same crossroad.  Why am I feeling so guilty?  Why do I not see the pattern of craziness that is fixing to head our way? 

I don't think that I want to even try anymore.  I want to be alone.  Alone with my thoughts.  Alone with my son.  Alone in my home.  Yet, I want him to still be there... Why??  I cannot figure it out.  What is this hold he has on me?  Is it love, financial, complacency, or just the fact that he loves me and doesn't want to let me go??? 

Do I give up and say Ok... you win!  Or do I give up on what we have?  What we have is hard.  It's toxic. It's mindblowing all at the same time.

He treats me good then he treats me like I don't know what I'm talking about.  He is the type to say what he means and means what he says.  All while not caring if he hurts your feelings.  Am I too sensitive?  Do I take everything to heart?  Do I need to lighten up?  I. DON'T. KNOW!!!

Should I make a list of likes and dislikes??

like:  He's funny, smart, witty, and loyal.  He is handsome in his own way.  Not the most gorgeous man on earth, but his personallity makes him cute.

dislikes:  Drinks, blunt, harsh, negative a lot, doesn't get along with my son, sex life isn't the greatest, and unstable with work.    

Is this just boiling down to the fact that I just want out?  I have been tied to someone pretty much my whole life.  Family, son, ex, now fiance, job... Maybe I don't want to be around anyone anymore.  Maybe I truly want to be alone.  With no one.  

Am I depressed?  Am I going out of my mind?  It seems so.  I am falling hard and I don't think I can recover after this one.  My life is in ruins.....................................   

WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY?????????????                                       

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:43 PM
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Replies (1-5):
ksbondgirl
by Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Go get yourself some counseling immediately! This is so you can figure out WHY you wanted this man in the first place. You have your son to think about as well. If your S O doesn't care for him as a part of YOUR life, this is a HUGE red flag. You are a grown person but he is not. You have the responsibility of him. How do you think this makes your son feel?

Your S O needs to leave because I don't believe he really cares for you or your son. It would help if he went to counseling with you. This way you can BOTH make the decision to part mutually.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:01 PM
Thank you for your reply. I agree that we need help. I just am thinking it's too late for that now. He went today and looked at an apt so I think he may be gone by the end of the week. Or maybe he's just bluffing. He keeps saying that he will leave if it's what I want and such. I am just tired of his inconsideration.

We were trying to talk about things today and I can't get him to understand that people in a relationship don't go around and tell others that they think they are hot and want to sleep with them. He says it's just internet talk, but I am not so sure anymore. Our sex life is zero to none and to be honest I don't even think about it anymore.

I know me gaining my weight back that I lost has a big part in how I feel about myself, but I just can't even think about it.

I know he tries to be upbeat but he embarrasses me when we go out. We go into a store and he screams at the top of his lungs just to get attention. At first I thought it was funny, but now not so much. He wonders why I get mad because he says we will never see those people again, yet we do see them.

I just want positive in my life. I won't sit here and claim that I am not at fault because I own everything I have said it done. I hate that it's coming to an end, but I don't know of any other way. :'(



Quoting ksbondgirl: Go get yourself some counseling immediately! This is so you can figure out WHY you wanted this man in the first place. You have your son to think about as well. If your S O doesn't care for him as a part of YOUR life, this is a HUGE red flag. You are a grown person but he is not. You have the responsibility of him. How do you think this makes your son feel?

Your S O needs to leave because I don't believe he really cares for you or your son. It would help if he went to counseling with you. This way you can BOTH make the decision to part mutually.
ksbondgirl
by Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:10 PM
1 mom liked this
From what you have just posted here, it's time that he leaves and by the end of the week. Still, go get counseling so that the next time around, you won't pick the same kind of guy.

Once you truly get your freedom, you will wonder what took you so long! LOL!

GOOD LUCK! And keep us posted.


Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you for your reply. I agree that we need help. I just am thinking it's too late for that now. He went today and looked at an apt so I think he may be gone by the end of the week. Or maybe he's just bluffing. He keeps saying that he will leave if it's what I want and such. I am just tired of his inconsideration.

We were trying to talk about things today and I can't get him to understand that people in a relationship don't go around and tell others that they think they are hot and want to sleep with them. He says it's just internet talk, but I am not so sure anymore. Our sex life is zero to none and to be honest I don't even think about it anymore.

I know me gaining my weight back that I lost has a big part in how I feel about myself, but I just can't even think about it.

I know he tries to be upbeat but he embarrasses me when we go out. We go into a store and he screams at the top of his lungs just to get attention. At first I thought it was funny, but now not so much. He wonders why I get mad because he says we will never see those people again, yet we do see them.

I just want positive in my life. I won't sit here and claim that I am not at fault because I own everything I have said it done. I hate that it's coming to an end, but I don't know of any other way. :'(



Quoting ksbondgirl: Go get yourself some counseling immediately! This is so you can figure out WHY you wanted this man in the first place. You have your son to think about as well. If your S O doesn't care for him as a part of YOUR life, this is a HUGE red flag. You are a grown person but he is not. You have the responsibility of him. How do you think this makes your son feel?

Your S O needs to leave because I don't believe he really cares for you or your son. It would help if he went to counseling with you. This way you can BOTH make the decision to part mutually.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:12 PM
I really don't think I want a next time. If I do it will be a long time. lol

Thanks again and insure will.

Quoting ksbondgirl: From what you have just posted here, it's time that he leaves and by the end of the week. Still, go get counseling so that the next time around, you won't pick the same kind of guy.

Once you truly get your freedom, you will wonder what took you so long! LOL!

GOOD LUCK! And keep us posted.


Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you for your reply. I agree that we need help. I just am thinking it's too late for that now. He went today and looked at an apt so I think he may be gone by the end of the week. Or maybe he's just bluffing. He keeps saying that he will leave if it's what I want and such. I am just tired of his inconsideration.

We were trying to talk about things today and I can't get him to understand that people in a relationship don't go around and tell others that they think they are hot and want to sleep with them. He says it's just internet talk, but I am not so sure anymore. Our sex life is zero to none and to be honest I don't even think about it anymore.

I know me gaining my weight back that I lost has a big part in how I feel about myself, but I just can't even think about it.

I know he tries to be upbeat but he embarrasses me when we go out. We go into a store and he screams at the top of his lungs just to get attention. At first I thought it was funny, but now not so much. He wonders why I get mad because he says we will never see those people again, yet we do see them.

I just want positive in my life. I won't sit here and claim that I am not at fault because I own everything I have said it done. I hate that it's coming to an end, but I don't know of any other way. :'(



Quoting ksbondgirl: Go get yourself some counseling immediately! This is so you can figure out WHY you wanted this man in the first place. You have your son to think about as well. If your S O doesn't care for him as a part of YOUR life, this is a HUGE red flag. You are a grown person but he is not. You have the responsibility of him. How do you think this makes your son feel?

Your S O needs to leave because I don't believe he really cares for you or your son. It would help if he went to counseling with you. This way you can BOTH make the decision to part mutually.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 23, 2015 at 11:26 PM

Your son deserves better.

Your son deserves a father.

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