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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

What I've Learned

Posted by on Aug. 5, 2011 at 1:10 AM
  • 10 Replies

I've been parenting for almost 10 years.  Our first child was special needs and most of our 13 (soon to be 17) have special needs.  I was reading the introductions and most of you have very young children.  I read one where the lady sounded so discouraged in particular.  I decided I needed to share with you what I've learned.  Are you ready (lol) . . . . . . .

Doctors, therapists, and other professionals HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR CHILD CAN REALLY ACCOMPLISH!!!  They just don't know anything about the future.  They give you a guess.  They are  usually wrong. 

I've had kids accomplish so much more than I was told that they could. 

Zeeky is 6.  At three years old when he came to us he was completely nonverbal and they said he would never talk.  His autism was SEVERE.  He was SEVERELY mentally retarded.  He only ate poptarts and cereal bars (bc the foster parents didn't want to try anything else) and took a bottle regularly with no use of a sippy at all.  NOW he has been reading sight words for over a year.  He knows all his phonics sounds.  He can name all of his shapes, including octagons.  He knows his colors, numbers, and letters.  Nothing about him is SEVERE.

He is just one example out of so many here. 

Please be encouraged.  Don't let people tell you the limits.  Keep giving your kids all the opportunities and never underestimate them.  They CAN do so much more than people know.  God gave you that specific child with those specific challenges and GIFTS.  Your child can do things that no one else can.  They will change things in you that you never knew were possible.  They are going to have a great purpose.  Teach them that God made them special and that He has a plan for them.  Don't feel sorry for them or teach them to pity or feel bad for their differences.  Teach them that they were made for a purpose!  THEY REALLY WERE!!!!  I know that "special needs kids" are one of God's greatest gifts.  They have some challenges, but the rewards will far outweigh them.  :)

by on Aug. 5, 2011 at 1:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Elayna90
by on Aug. 5, 2011 at 1:23 AM
I love this and totally agree with it. My kids are still young but I see them everyday do things I was told they might not do or might not do anytime soon.
Drs aren't the ones who know our kids. We are.
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quinnmommy
by on Aug. 5, 2011 at 2:33 AM

Yes, yes  and double yes!!!!!!

CameronsMommy23
by on Aug. 5, 2011 at 6:53 PM
This is making me tear up a bit! My son wasn't even supposed to live or even recognize me as his mother but he did and 6 yrs later people don't even see him as anything other than a "normal" onry, energetic, silly, sweet lil boy. I spent so much time being depressed b/c of what the doctors told me he wouldn't do & they were wrong.
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i.heart.myboys
by on Aug. 5, 2011 at 11:45 PM
You made me cry! I agree when I first found out about Austin I was discourage. I blamed myself. I'm not going to lie. Over time I started to realize what a blessing he was. How wonderful he was. How I was an amazing mommy for having him.
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quinnmommy
by on Aug. 6, 2011 at 12:37 PM

I'm really glad you are on here too.  I almost never meet parents of older kids in these groups.  I know that the preschool and early elementary years are the hardest and you do eventually settle into a new normal, a new routine, but I could really use someone to talk to who has older kids.  Most of the time I wind up being the "expert", the "mentor", and I get very little support myself.

Elayna90
by on Aug. 6, 2011 at 3:37 PM
I am sorry that happens momma. Many of us mommas have younger kids here and we do look up to yall since you've been there but we should never forget that yall need support too.

Quoting quinnmommy:

I'm really glad you are on here too.  I almost never meet parents of older kids in these groups.  I know that the preschool and early elementary years are the hardest and you do eventually settle into a new normal, a new routine, but I could really use someone to talk to who has older kids.  Most of the time I wind up being the "expert", the "mentor", and I get very little support myself.

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sukainah
by on Aug. 7, 2011 at 8:25 AM

This is awesome

mommy9
by on Aug. 7, 2011 at 4:50 PM


Quoting quinnmommy:

I'm really glad you are on here too.  I almost never meet parents of older kids in these groups.  I know that the preschool and early elementary years are the hardest and you do eventually settle into a new normal, a new routine, but I could really use someone to talk to who has older kids.  Most of the time I wind up being the "expert", the "mentor", and I get very little support myself.


Glad to be of help any time I can.  We have been doing this a good while.  It really becomes your normal.  I have noticed that most people have little ones instead of older. 

I will say that if your kids don't end up able to be independent then the teenage and early adult years are the hardest.  I have 18 and 19 year old girls who will always live with us.  The hardest part is that I can't find anything that they "want" to do and I hate for them to be bored.  I've bought every "kit" imaginable and nothing is enjoyable for them.  It is hard to watch them have so little to plan for in life.  Thankfully, my older girls enjoy the little ones so it gives them a taste of taking care of kids which is something they both wanted.  They both wanted to be mothers so badly, but they will not ever be able to do that. 

i.heart.myboys
by on Aug. 7, 2011 at 5:54 PM
Quinnmommy - I'm sorry you haven't found the support that you need I'll look for mom's to ask to join that have older kids who can help as well
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newmommy-again
by on Aug. 13, 2011 at 10:43 PM

thank you for the wonderful encouragement!  no matter what the age of the kids, believing in yourself and your kids is important

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