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The Orgasim Talk with teen

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2012 at 2:16 AM
  • 9 Replies

I have a thirteen yr old daughter, I caught her googling "what does orgasim mean" I was shocked and out of words why would she, should I be concerned? I asked her where did you hear this? She said she was watching Jerry Springer and they mentioned it and wanted to know, I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. I told her to get off and walked away not sure how to approach it. I wasn't sure if I was mad because what she was curious of or for watching what she wasn't suppose to be watching when I already have all channels Rated R to PG blocked. Although I have always said if she was curious or ever needed to talk I am available and as she is getting older I know she will learn or hear of it somewhere else if I don't warn her or talk to her about it. I am not sure if I should be mad and not sure how to even start the conversation. She learned pretty early from students at school in 3rd grade how babies are made and why and where they come from and now she is learning about orgasims. This is pressure coming at full force and I want to be open about it to her better me than google or anyone else. I will accept any approaches on the table to consider, please help.


by on Feb. 27, 2012 at 2:16 AM
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by on Feb. 27, 2012 at 4:17 AM
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i would just be straight forward and tell her how it is.why hasn't she been to any sex ed classes yet in school?by the time i was 13 ive been to 4 of them starting when i was 9.(and yes they covered this topic as well)if your not comfortable with someone else telling her then hurry up and tell her yourself.there is nothing wrong with knowledge and you can make it age appropriate if you deem necessary(i was always just given the straight facts and truths of the i liked it or not,no matter how blunt,from my dad lol i appreciate that now)personally i wouldn't have waited this late in the game to have such talks nor would i have booted her from the computer(mainly because i would welcome my kids to find out answers for themselves if they didn't feel like coming to me or my husband for whatever reason,instead of getting hearsay/misinformation from friends or peers)...but that's just are mom so do whatever you feel is best for you far as striking up the conversation,i would just ask her what she wanted to know about it and what she thinks she knows about it thus far so you can go from there to answer her immediate questions and satisfy the curiosity if you don't wish to dabble in such talk at this stage.(or this could be the opportune time to get the whole sex talk shebang out of the way)i feel that the more open and relaxed you are about talking about such things in an easy environment with her,the easier it may be for both of you.if you place to much concern on a simply topic that came from mere curiosity then you could possibly  have her develop an unnecessary stigma on the topic that could make future conversations uncomfortable and/or embarrassing which could prematurely disrupt her willingness to come to you for facts/advice/questions/concerns related to biologically relative topics/functions of the human body.(her body)however you choose to approach this new and exciting issue with your teen,i hope you both have a wonderful bonding experience full of useful information sharing,despite the awkwardness that may be consuming the both of you right now.good luck and i hope that i helped in someway...if anything,to have possibly helped you come to a final decision on the regards and take care

also as a side note...i seriously lol'ed at the thought of warning somebody(anybody) about orgasms.sorry but that just struck me as an insanely funny/odd position to take on the whole matter.

by on Feb. 27, 2012 at 8:25 AM
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I would just be honest with her. If you try to put the subject off to long than she'll find a way to find out and it's better you tell her than someone else.
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by Darby on Feb. 27, 2012 at 7:14 PM
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I agree with these ladies...I would just be honest with her.  Good luck mama!

by on Feb. 27, 2012 at 10:38 PM
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I agree with the above ladies. I have an almost 17 year old DD. I've always been very proactive with sex talks because I did not hear it from my parents. I didn't want her to end up like me, pregnant with her at 17.

At first it is a little uncomfortable. But it does get easier. My suggestion would be to start by finding out what she does know and filling in where she doesn't. This is a Good time to give your input on the emotional parts of sex. That is not covered in sex ed or any other place, so talking about all aspects is very important. Also make your expectations clear. Like you would prefer she talks to youbefore doing it, or you would like her to wait til marriage, use protection and what kind(s) . Just make sure to come across as supportive so that she will feel comfortable coming to you.

I think a good starter for this situation would be... " I'm sorry I snapped about what you were looking up. I was caught by surprise. It is hard for me to remember you are growing up sometimes. So you were looking up orgasm. Did you find the answer? Do you have questions or anything you didn't understand? "

Make the talks often because teens really need lots of reminders. I try to use songs or television to help start conversations. I do a lot of asking how She feels about certain lyrics or if she thinks what is on TV is like real life.

Good luck!
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by on Feb. 27, 2012 at 10:41 PM
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Like you said-better to come from you than other resources (and may not be totally reliable resources at that)  just give her of how much you think she is able to handle and ask her if she has any questions and answer them as she ask them--wish you well---

by on May. 7, 2012 at 2:27 PM

    Thanks for all your replies... sorry to respond so late, hadn't been on in awhile... We will have the talk tonight.


by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:47 AM
I would tell her before some kid explains it to her. It's a talk that every mom dreads but it will be good for her to hear it from you. Good luck mama!

Let us know how it goes.
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by on May. 8, 2012 at 7:44 AM

I have two daughters (who are adults now, so I'm a long way past this happening) but they knew that info long before 13. I slowly introduced information as they got older at times it was appropriate and using age appropriate (and developmentally appropriate to their abilities) discussions. It is never easy, I used to be annoyed w/my mom because she basically handed me a booklet and told me to ask if I had questions... I learned more from girl scouts! LOL But it is important your daughters learn and learn from you. They will thank you...possibly not today though! Just because we have special needs children doesn't mean we get to opt out of these important discussions!

by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:36 PM

My son is 11 and we have had talks about sex (in age appropriate terms) for as long as I can remember. I am always straight forward and honest with him. He knows he can ask me anything he wants. I rarely sugar coat anything.

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