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Discipline Help! My 2 year old SN Kid Won't Stop Hitting the Baby.

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:03 PM
  • 17 Replies

I do not know what to do.  Our two year old who has dyspraxia/developmental delays (seizure disorder too, but don't think that's relevant) recently started hitting our baby.  I am frustrated.  Also, (and I know this is weird) I am somewhat proud that she a) figured out she was displeased b) thought through something to do about it c) has the necessary motor skills to to it.  

So, in the beginning I just kept telling her he was her "nice gentle brother" and we practiced nice, gentle touches.  Now when I say that, she hits him again.  So, then I began to kind of ignore her.  I would say "No" once to her.  Then shower her baby brother with all sorts of attention to the tune of "poor baby brother, oh, that's a bad owie, etc.).  That had no visible affect on her.  It did not seem to discourage the behavior.  Most recently, I have begun taking a toy or something from her and putting it up "until she can be nice to her brother".  Then, when she is being nice, I give it back.

Throughout all of this there has been a lot of praise and positive reinforcement.  I often tell her what a nice, sweet, big sister she is.  Several times a day I tell her how smart, pretty and kind she is.  I want for her to understand and stop hitting, but I just don't think she gets it.  She does not really speak, and her motor skills aren't great so I can't even imagine how frustrated she must be.  I can't just let her hit a baby though.  

Does anyone have advice about how to get through to her?

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hottmomma607
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:17 PM

I think just encouraging her with "no" and showing her how to be gentle. I would say if she hits,then let her use her hands for clapping to get her busy away from the baby! But don't want her think clapping b/c she hits the baby! Does she have a favorite toy? Maybe sit down with her&her toy,with the baby and play with her.

Good luck sorry not much help.

mandee1503
by Amanda on Apr. 20, 2012 at 1:41 AM

I have no idea, but here is a bump! Good luck!

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 20, 2012 at 6:01 AM

That's a tough one...when my son hits (although he hits me at times and not a baby, so a little different), I physically hold his hand so he can't hit me, and give him a stern look...I don't let up until he has stopped trying to hit me.  Not sure if that will work for your situation but thought I would offer it up.  Good luck mama!

sammygrl77
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 8:29 AM
When my youngest did that, I would tell her no we don't hit and put her in time out.

I completely understand being proud that she can accomplish things, even if it isn't appropriate behavior:)
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Hottubgodess
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this

 My thoughts are a short term fix - babywearing.  Protect the baby by keeping him close to  you, and if she doesnt have access, she cant hit him. 

As for teaching her - trade hitting baby with another behaviour - like hitting a pillow.  Stopping her and redirecting her before she hits the baby should train her to hit something approved in the short term.  My son is a "chewer".  He was chewing his shirts.  Instead of stoppign the behaviour, we replaced it with approved things to chew on, like a necklace that was easy access for him.  :) 

DDDaysh
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 2:29 PM

 *Hugs*  I've been there!  Half the time she wasn't trying to hurt him, she just didn't have the coordination to be gentle.  Half the time she'd BITE him because...  well, because she was 2 and frustrated and had no other coping skills. 

Honestly, the only way I managed the problem was simply by not letting them be alone.  I would try putting her in the corner and things, and while it helped some, it just wasn't effective.  It was simply too dangerous to turn my back on the two of them together. 

 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 20, 2012 at 3:43 PM

I completely agree!  You can't take away a behavior from a child without replacing it with another behavior.  Good points mama!

Quoting Hottubgodess:

 My thoughts are a short term fix - babywearing.  Protect the baby by keeping him close to  you, and if she doesnt have access, she cant hit him. 

As for teaching her - trade hitting baby with another behaviour - like hitting a pillow.  Stopping her and redirecting her before she hits the baby should train her to hit something approved in the short term.  My son is a "chewer".  He was chewing his shirts.  Instead of stoppign the behaviour, we replaced it with approved things to chew on, like a necklace that was easy access for him.  :) 


lifeisajoy
by on Apr. 21, 2012 at 11:27 AM
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agree --engage in another activity such as clapping her hands-also continue the nice gentle touches too--I tell my son "manners-and show him hands on lap-and say hands on lap" now he does this instantly by himself --I also tell my son nice touches and I show him by doing nice touches to him--also engage your kiddo in another activity such as hand clapping, playing with a toy--be firm but caring--sounds like it going to take practice--do not have your kiddo be alone with baby right now--that is what we did with small animals and babies in beginning-now he does real well!!--

Quoting Hottmomma607:

I think just encouraging her with "no" and showing her how to be gentle. I would say if she hits,then let her use her hands for clapping to get her busy away from the baby! But don't want her think clapping b/c she hits the baby! Does she have a favorite toy? Maybe sit down with her&her toy,with the baby and play with her.

Good luck sorry not much help.


sayres
by on Apr. 21, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Is she receiving OT through EI? Could the OT work with her with a baby doll? Dyspraxia can be tricky, if she not hitting out if anger and if she can sometimes touch him gently then perhaps it's a motor planning issue. For some dyslexic children they don't have depth perception. If you don't have depth perception you can't judge how far you are from a given object. If you can't tell how far away you are from an object you don't know the force you need to get to the object. Have you noticed other times when she either uses to much force or not enough force to accomplish a task?
I also like the idea of wearing your son.
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sayres
by on Apr. 21, 2012 at 3:41 PM
I meant dyspraxic not dyslexic oh auto correct :(
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