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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Does your special need kiddo require...

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:00 AM
  • 9 Replies
Does your special need kiddo require most of your time and energy? If yes, how do you balance it with your non-SNK?

My one twin has always required more attention and parenting. Lately his needs have doubled! I feel like his twin bro is really getting the shaft now.

I am at a loss for how to keep it relatively equal w/out neglecting my SNK needs.
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by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:04 AM
We've had the same issue over the years there are times when it is really unbalanced, and that's just life... Mommy guilt is like nothing else, huh?
Whenever my SN son has been needing a LOT, I try to set aside a little time to do something special with just my younger son.
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letstalk747
by Joy on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:06 AM

i just make it even , both mine are special needs

vermontmoms
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:10 AM
Thanks, that makes me feel better!!!

Quoting Elyssa414:

We've had the same issue over the years there are times when it is really unbalanced, and that's just life... Mommy guilt is like nothing else, huh?

Whenever my SN son has been needing a LOT, I try to set aside a little time to do something special with just my younger son.
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valleymomma1
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:25 AM
Oh yes thankfully my other two are 12 & 17 so it works out. I work with a therapist 18 hours a week in a parent participation program a program .
mandee1503
by Amanda on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:20 AM

My 4 year old really gets the short end of the stick. I try so hard to give her a little time each day. I'm thankfui because her dad and my family really step up and take her and help with giving her alone time. I know she misses mommy, and it always eats away at me!

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 26, 2012 at 6:04 AM

I only have one child so I honestly don't know how it is to juggle it all.  I can only imagine how tough it is mentally and physically...hugs to you  mama!

jjamom
by Michele on Apr. 26, 2012 at 6:44 AM
I think having a child with SN and one or more without can be a balancing act and can also make you feel really guilty sometimes, Because my little guy with SN is our youngest, and was constantly sick (requiring hospitalization) often, I felt guilty and stretched. But, it is just the way it is when they NEED more. My little guy had RSV his first Christmas and he and I spent 11 days in the hospital over Christmas Day, it was really hard with a 4 1/2 and an 8 year old. But, they came to the hospital to visit on Christmas Day and my DH did an awesome job ensuring that everything else was "routine" for them. We relied a lot on family to help out during that time (and all the other times) too.

If you can, try to plan some time to take your other son out and do something fun, just the two of you. Even something around the house, sharing a book, for example can be good. I can see your kids in the pic, but not sure age, but a maybe start the Harry Potter series, for example and read it together at a special time each day and spend some time talking about it. You could do this with any activity he enjoys. Just try to find a way to share it with him (even playing Wii or something like that). It could be his special time with you each day, just the two of you. The most important thing is just making sure he knows how important he is to you too.
lifeisajoy
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:23 AM

yes he does but we only have one--

sammygrl77
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 10:00 AM
I do feel stretched often. I don't think I could do it without my dh's support and vice versa. I try to spend one on one time with each child. All 3 are special needs, but one has significantly more needs than the others. There are times when I have to tell Christopher that it is Brooke's time with mommy and he needs to wait his turn. It was really hard at first because he doesn't like it, but he seems to understand now. I also use the time Christopher is in therapy to have one on one time with Brooke. I take my teen shopping or we talk after the kids go to bed.
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