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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

hello all..........  i am sorta new here and havn't posted much but something has been racing thru my head... 

A little about our family...   I have two wonderful girls ages 13 and 12..  the 12 yr old has Adhd and is on a gluten free diet.   I also have two wonderful boys ages 2 and the other will be 6 at the end of May.   My 6 yr old just recently has been being tested for essential tremors.   He is under going numerous test like sleep study, sedated MRI, genectic blood testing.. and has started OT to help with his writing and coloring plus other daily activities that he seems to avoid. 

So here this is what has been running thru my head..    With your guys SN children and if they have siblings ..  does it affect the siblings??  

The reason why i ask is because there is so much tension between my girls.   The 12 yr old is a big battle especially with the school district.   Both girls go to the same middle school at this current moment and the difference between the girls is like night and day.  The 13 yr old does very well in school.   She receives numerous awards, good grades,,, does very good in extra activities like band.   All the teachers think she is wonderful in the school and unfortunely has put alot of weight on her shoulders due to her sister's behavior.   I put my foot down to this telling the school district that she is not the parent and they needed to contact me.  Teachers would make comments to her like  "your mother needs to come have a conference with me about ur sister"     I was very upset about them doin this and told them it was NOT acceptable.  Plus the 13 yr old is very embrassed about her sisters actions and behavior.   

Then there is the 12 yr old who is very jealous of her older sister as she walks behind her 2 years in grade level.  The teachers always ask her why she doesn't behave like her sister.. etc..   Again i put my foot down.   She tells her sister that she is very lucky and has it easy...      she is currently seeing a counselor every two weeks to help with these feelings but i only see it getting worse. 
I am at a total loss with this subject of how to be able to praise and help both children..  It also doesn't help that the 13 yr old is favored by the ex and his wife..... plus my parents.   They dont' admit to it but its true. 

I also question about my boys now that i see how my 12 yr old special needs affect her sister.   There is 3 years between my boys ...  and i see things that i wonder how will it play out in the end.   We have just started learning about my 6 yr olds special needs and trying to figure out how to help him.  The school district just did a retention testing to see if he should stay in kindergarten which he was fair on so we are pushing forward to first grade.  But some of the stuff on the test kinda has me confused like they say they feel he possibly has a emotional disorder.   I could see this in him... or possibly some kinda sensory issue.   So now that i see the affects of the girls and the differences ..  i question how do i help the boys not get into this position if it starts to show... 
Any suggestions, ideas, examples etc.. are welcomed..  even if its just to ease my mind.   I know siblings have rivary alot of times but with the girls i feel that its alot more then just that.  

by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:07 AM
Replies (11-11):
tobysmom103
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2012 at 7:48 PM

i only have one kid for now but im expecting another on oct 3rd so not sure how tobys going to react yet

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