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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

 This is embarrassing to me, but I am having issues with my husband right now. He has spanked my son ( who is high functioning, but on the autism spectrum) and I am not sure if this is effective. I am going to see his specialist on thursday, and I am not sure what to expect. What do you think?

by on May. 19, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Replies (11-15):
lifeisajoy
by on May. 19, 2012 at 11:14 PM

Spanking don't work with my son-he laughs and it does it worse--I don't spank with him--I do logical consequences like Elyssa says--though with him trying to touch stove or real danger--I step in and remove him from that situation-I try not to have him that situation-but for ex. he thinks he can take himself out but he can't or he wants to stand by me when cooking he can't --he don't understand what will seriously happen to him if he gets burned--so he listens and does a table activity if he wants to stay in kitchen while I am cooking or if he is having a day where he won't then while I am cooking he has to stay in another room--

FoxxyMama1
by on May. 20, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Personally I feel spanking is violence and should never be used. If I spanked you, I'd go to jail for assault. It rarely works for special needs kids. In fact those that use spanking regularly get additional letters for their kid's alphabet soup...ODD.
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Hottubgodess
by on May. 20, 2012 at 1:24 PM

 First off, let me say that I am an "Attachment Parent" - I dont believe in spanking or striking a child in any way.  But I also believe that familes need to parent based on what their families need. 

To me - hitting a child to stop a child from misbehaving doesnt make sense to me.  I was spanked and smacked as a child.  It made me angry and more rebellious.  It did not make me behave any better. 

With kids, we need to find out the real reason for the behaviour - was it over stimulation?  Was it "fight or flight" (and punishing a behaviour based on a fight or flight response is sensless)?  Finding out the cause and addressing that is better for helping our kids than punishing them "in the moment" which gets lost (they cannot be logical in the moment). 

So address the cause of the behaviour and work on your son's response to it.  :)

I'm not crazy....I have two boys.....roflmbo....


I love my Sensational DS1 and my Boysterous DS2...both born preemie, full term breastfed, until they self weaned.  I am a Lactivist, a CubScout Den Leader, Self employed, and still take the time to be my Children's Attachment Parenting Mom and my DH's Girlfriend.  My DH is my best friend. :)


Medications and Mother's Milk Group - Group Owner

sunfireprincess
by on May. 20, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Thanks :)

Quoting Hottubgodess:

 First off, let me say that I am an "Attachment Parent" - I dont believe in spanking or striking a child in any way.  But I also believe that familes need to parent based on what their families need. 


To me - hitting a child to stop a child from misbehaving doesnt make sense to me.  I was spanked and smacked as a child.  It made me angry and more rebellious.  It did not make me behave any better. 


With kids, we need to find out the real reason for the behaviour - was it over stimulation?  Was it "fight or flight" (and punishing a behaviour based on a fight or flight response is sensless)?  Finding out the cause and addressing that is better for helping our kids than punishing them "in the moment" which gets lost (they cannot be logical in the moment). 


So address the cause of the behaviour and work on your son's response to it.  :)

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Hottubgodess
by on May. 20, 2012 at 2:15 PM

 There is a website called Understandingspd (I cant remember if it is .org or .com)  There is a page on dealing with a meltdown and what fight or flight looks like.  Granted these are for classrooms but it applies over the board.  :) 

Quoting sunfireprincess:

Thanks :)

Quoting Hottubgodess:

 First off, let me say that I am an "Attachment Parent" - I dont believe in spanking or striking a child in any way.  But I also believe that familes need to parent based on what their families need. 


To me - hitting a child to stop a child from misbehaving doesnt make sense to me.  I was spanked and smacked as a child.  It made me angry and more rebellious.  It did not make me behave any better. 


With kids, we need to find out the real reason for the behaviour - was it over stimulation?  Was it "fight or flight" (and punishing a behaviour based on a fight or flight response is sensless)?  Finding out the cause and addressing that is better for helping our kids than punishing them "in the moment" which gets lost (they cannot be logical in the moment). 


So address the cause of the behaviour and work on your son's response to it.  :)

 

I'm not crazy....I have two boys.....roflmbo....


I love my Sensational DS1 and my Boysterous DS2...both born preemie, full term breastfed, until they self weaned.  I am a Lactivist, a CubScout Den Leader, Self employed, and still take the time to be my Children's Attachment Parenting Mom and my DH's Girlfriend.  My DH is my best friend. :)


Medications and Mother's Milk Group - Group Owner

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