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Relationship

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:29 AM
  • 24 Replies

How does your child with sn affect or does it affect your relationship with so/dh or others?  

Our is more not our kiddo but trying to get the services and/or get the adequate care we need-and when I have had it I have dh make a phone call but then he don't ask what is needed-and then I have to make the phone call again anyways--I know dh tries and he is real great with our son but sometimes it is just overwhelming

Overall real good but with all the apts and care sometimes it is like I want to just scream in the woods or something and have everyone leave me alone--been a super rough week!!!

Take care

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mandee1503
by Amanda on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Jacob doesn't put too much strain on dh and I because we are in this together. It does hurt some friendships though. People struggling to understand ds, and why we are really busy.
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lifeisajoy
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:37 AM

We are in it together too but sometimes my dh a little more afraid to confront professionals and when I have had it I have him make a phone call but then I have to call back anyways because the question did not get asked--just been a super rough week

Quoting mandee1503:

Jacob doesn't put too much strain on dh and I because we are in this together. It does hurt some friendships though. People struggling to understand ds, and why we are really busy.


natesmom1228
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 11:43 AM

It depends on the situation. I am more laid back and hubby is very "straighten up and fly right type".  If we are in a store I don't mind that he touches things and likes to see what things "do", but my hubby will constantly tell him to "stop touching things or leaves things alone". It kind of drives me crazy since the kid isn't hurting or breaking anything. That is probably the biggest difference in us.

natesmom1228
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

I make ALL the appts for Nathan. Hubby wouldn't know what or how to do it.

willysmama
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:04 PM

a lot of my friends that i had pre-willy don't understand how busy i am. The friends i have now are just as busy. With DH that is a tough one. Unless i ask he won't do anything til night time routine with willy lately. During the night DH does check on him if he fusses but generally brings into our room and says here take him he is whining. So the relationship is rocky

jjamom
by Michele on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I take on the majority of the responsibility for our son (medical, educational, therapies, etc) as I am a SAHM and my husband works and travels a lot. It works for us. He is there when I need him and I keep him in the loop, but I think I am probably too much of a control freak to relinquish a lot of the responsibility anyway!

I think having our little guy has brought us even closer together, actually!
Mipsy
by Chelle on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:49 PM
I hear ya on having dh call and having to call back to clarify or ask stuff. I get to points where I've had enough and need dh to call for me but he reiterates the situations all wrong, doesn't know what or how to say stuff, never confronts them if needed (like when an idiot nurse tries telling us to try miralax cuz he's constipated. Well no duh! Look at his chart!), and never asks the right questions.

Having a sn child can put a strain on the relationship. I remember reading that divorce rates are higher among special needs parents and I can't begin go tell you how many sn couples I know who broke up and it's like 1 half thinks the child is fine (and is delusional most of the time) and the other half sees the issues and addresses them.

For dh and I it isn't necessarily having a sn child that strains us but the financial part of it is what is killing us. We're $25,000 in debt medically and have lost everything including our home and we literally have nothing to our name. We have nothing, it all goes to Ty and his care.
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letstalk747
by Joy on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:50 PM
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i hear ya , its rough for sure

sammygrl77
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM
It's been a little bit of both. We are closer, yet we don't agree on many things with Christopher 's treatment. The first couple of years we both seriously considered divorce.

He is wonderful with the kids. He's the more playful one and I'm the more the caregiver-keep-it-all-organized one. We both have areas that are different, but that is usually a good thing.
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jun. 15, 2012 at 2:52 PM
2 moms liked this

You took EVERY single word out of my mouth!  I'm a SAHM as well, and my husband is active duty military so he's gone a lot too.  I'm a HORRIBLE control freak, and Jeff (my husband) has to keep me in check sometimes and "make" me let him do things!  LOL!

Quoting jjamom:

I take on the majority of the responsibility for our son (medical, educational, therapies, etc) as I am a SAHM and my husband works and travels a lot. It works for us. He is there when I need him and I keep him in the loop, but I think I am probably too much of a control freak to relinquish a lot of the responsibility anyway!

I think having our little guy has brought us even closer together, actually!


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