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Do you ever have those days when you just think you SUCK as a parent?

My step son, who is undiagnosed special needs--8 going on 5 or 6--pulled apart my couch cushion today... Fluff EVERYwhere. I got pretty angry, but think I handled my tempe okay--for the most part.

Regardless of your thoughts on this, please don't trash me--it's part of the story and I learned my lesson:

He got a spanking. Just one swat. When He stood up, he said "That didn't even hurt!" with a smile on his face. In my anger over his comment, I didn't see that the smile on his face was the same searching, questioning look he gives us when he is wanting us to be proud of him.

He got a second swat that I could tell hurt. I told him to stay in his room until I wasn't as angry and then I would come in and talk.

As I calmed down in my own little time out, I played back the situation. I realized what the look on his face when he made his comment was.

I immediately went to talk to him. After much searching of his thoughts--which took every ounce if patients I posses, I learned that my sweet, darling step son, whom I love more than anything and anyone (except his father) cannot understand the difference between why we want him to be tough when he stubs his toe and why we don't necessarily want that same attitude about a spanking. He was trying to make me proud and all I did was give him another swat.

I will never lay a hand on that kid again. He simply cannot comprehend corpral punishment like that. :( I feel like an ASS.

Do any of you have any suggestions for how to discipline a child with VERY poor reasoning/logic skills? He just doesn't understand interpersonal nuances like a "normal" child would pick up on instinctually.
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by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 4:44 PM
We all have our good and bad parenting moments but at the end of the day if you learn from your mistakes then you're doing great! :) *hugs*
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by Elyssa on Jul. 16, 2012 at 7:06 PM
For my son we had a behaviorist tell us to do time outs but not just sitting, (because he would find ways to get in trouble), so he had to have a repetitive task to do the whole time (putting coins into a piggy bank, poker chips through a slot etc- something that requires concentration).
It sounds lIke fun at first, but it gets really tedious especially when they finish and you just make them start over and over the whole time out.... Idk if that will work for your son, but worth a try?
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