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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Bad Mom

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 5:41 PM
  • 14 Replies

So a lot of people posted that i was a bad mom for letting my 5 year old stay with family while i find another place to live. Well im sorry that you guys feel that way. My baby almost died because of my 5 year old. i dont blame her she has a mental illness and I am doing my best to help her. I am only one person and since I have support from  everyone i know and her drs i say i am doing the right thing.

My 5 year old will live with me again when i get a  place where they can have seperate bedrooms and get her into this program to help her with her illness and get her on the right meds. when i get all that done then yes she will come back and live with me but i have to protect my baby and im sorry that you moms cant understand that.

i love both my children and I am doing whats best for them both. I have to have my ducks in a row before I act. Mental illnesses are nothing to play with.

if you moms cant understand that then I will justget off cafemom, i thought i had support on here.

Haley 5-25-07 & Husband 1-10-11 &Bella Rose 9-28-11





by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 5:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lifeisajoy
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 7:19 PM
3 moms liked this

Hugs-I understand and you are doing what is both for both girls--your 5 yr old is young and glad she is getting help and hope for she is young and getting the help-Take Care and I do understand!

T-HoneyLuv
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 7:36 PM
3 moms liked this
Nobody should be calling anyone a " Bad Mom ". If someone has not walked in your shoes and you are truly doing your best to help your child then I wouldnt worry about what random people online think. Only you know what is right and if you have the support of family and medical professionals then you do what you need to do. Good Luck.
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JenaSmith
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 7:37 PM
1 mom liked this
some people just dont get it. What your doing is not a bad mom. I was in a simular sitiation but just had to let the kids stay with my parents while i worked two jobs in another county. Allot people dis that but hey i saw my kids every chance i got and gave them all my money for food and care except what little i needed. I did that for a couple months til i found a job closer were i could stay with them and not travel so far. It was hard cause i missed them tons too. Sometimes you got to do whats needed and ignore people. Hugs you got my support and hope your 5yr old gets the help it needs. Mental illnesses or not a joke. I know personally.
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:00 PM
4 moms liked this

I agree here!  You are NOT a bad mom, and whoever says that is wrong!  I'm sorry that you feel unsupported in this group, and I promise you that I don't feel that way at all!  YOU do what YOU feel is right for YOUR family...simple as that.  Forget what other people think.  I am here for you mama:)

Quoting T-HoneyLuv:

Nobody should be calling anyone a " Bad Mom ". If someone has not walked in your shoes and you are truly doing your best to help your child then I wouldnt worry about what random people online think. Only you know what is right and if you have the support of family and medical professionals then you do what you need to do. Good Luck.


GirlWSlingshot
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 12:36 PM
1 mom liked this

 You went into another group, gave bare bones info that made it sound like you had just abandoned your five year old and hadn't seen her in four and a half months. People reacted because that sounded pretty horrendous. Add to the fact that you then didn't respond with the pertinent information and people drew conclusions from the limited facts they had.

 I wouldn't say you're a bad mom. From reading your posts in here, it sounds like you're doing your best to deal with a horrendous situation. There were questions in the other group about her diagnosis, alternative options for your living situation, etc. that went unanswered. Mostly people were appalled that you hadn't seen your 5 year old in four and a half months. That's a lifetime at that age.

 I wish you the best of luck in everything. I can't even imagine how desperate and scared you must have felt when everything was happening between your older and younger child. But I would suggest that if you are going to post for support in other groups that you give more information to avoid misunderstandings.

jjamom
by Michele on Jul. 18, 2012 at 12:57 PM
Did that happen in this group? I would be very surprised. I have never seen anyone pass judgment when we do what we think is best for our children. You have to do what you know is best. Stand firm and don't let people who judge you worry you. I agree, you have to protect both of your children and mental illness is not something that always lends itself to easy decisions. Hang in there and stay strong.
sayres
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 8:54 PM
You need to do what is best for your child. If someone disagrees either on Cafemom or in the "real world" just ignore them. Don't waste your energy on negative people.
sammygrl77
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 9:34 PM
I'm sorry people can be judgemental in other groups. It is a rarity in this group. I think you are doing the best you can in a very tough situation. I don't think you are a bad mom at all.
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FeliciaDG
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 9:44 PM

If you kept your child at home and something happened to your baby, people would call you a bad mom too. Unfortunately passing judgement on other moms makes some mothers feel better about their own parenting ability. It would be great if all moms would consider if what they say will be helpful to either the mother or her child before speaking at all. If your comment benefits no one, keep it to yourself. On the flip side, try to consider the supportive messages since what you really need is support. Ignore the "mean girl" comments because chances are those people are "mean girls" no matter what you do.

Of course this is the Internet and we do have freedom of speech but being a mom is hard job and we need to support each other. I feel like if someone comes here looking for support, you should give them support. If you can't offer support, offer nothing.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 19, 2012 at 4:51 AM

Glad to hear it didn't happen in this group!

Quoting GirlWSlingshot:

 You went into another group, gave bare bones info that made it sound like you had just abandoned your five year old and hadn't seen her in four and a half months. People reacted because that sounded pretty horrendous. Add to the fact that you then didn't respond with the pertinent information and people drew conclusions from the limited facts they had.

 I wouldn't say you're a bad mom. From reading your posts in here, it sounds like you're doing your best to deal with a horrendous situation. There were questions in the other group about her diagnosis, alternative options for your living situation, etc. that went unanswered. Mostly people were appalled that you hadn't seen your 5 year old in four and a half months. That's a lifetime at that age.

 I wish you the best of luck in everything. I can't even imagine how desperate and scared you must have felt when everything was happening between your older and younger child. But I would suggest that if you are going to post for support in other groups that you give more information to avoid misunderstandings.


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