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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids
The autism spectrum that basically the do lot listen to the rules I got a brain fart and can't think of the name.. Anyone know ? And know information they can share like signs? She's five with aspergers .

Edit I figured it out .
It's ODD that in referring to.
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by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 10:04 PM
Replies (11-19):
Hottubgodess
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:30 PM

 Ok, I am going to be a different voice.  I HATE the term ODD - My son would have been labled by the school as ODD and he is actually very compliant when you EXPLAIN to him what you need him to do.  If he is glaring at your he is in actuality overloaded sensory and stimuli.  The neurologist said he was definately NOT ODD.  He is 9, with SPD and Aspergers with processing delays.

So let me ask you this......do you see a specific time she is like this?  Look for signs of sensory overload, processing overload or lack of understanding.  Our kids need to have things explained to them in plain terms.  If they comprehend (which is differnt than listening) and process, they are usually pretty easy to work with. 

The neurologist suggested a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" approach - If you get dressed, I will cook a great breakfast.  Or if you clean your room (give specifics in pictures....) I will play a game with you. 

Hottubgodess
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:35 PM

 Does she get a reaction from you when she self harms?  If so, dont.  Just remove her from the situation.  :)

Our kids need expectations and routine.  My son would melt down every morning if he couldnt use one particular bathroom and he has to do it in this order - socks, shoes, potty, then coat.  To change that order would throw him into a tail spin, sit down and refusals. 

Quoting zolanmel:

Sounds like my dd. my favorite is " I'll behave if you let me do what I want to" usually after we tell her no. But she also self harms.

Quoting Melly2022:

He likes to control situations or control the upcoming events, for example at dinner he will voice what will be happening after, (so I will eat my dinner (which he never does ) and then I will put on my comfies and then I will watch cartoons and no bed OK?  

He will argue back and forth till hes blue.  You will never win a battle with him. He purposley will go out of his way to annoy others and will always look and wait for the reaction whether its a good one or bad one. 

He breaks alot of things friends toys daycare toys etc. wheh he does something wrong, he knows hes not supposed to. when you ask him what are the rules he can tell you them all but just chooses not to listen. 

His behaviours are not extreme by any means (well other then the constant defiancy and arguments) they would seem like a typical child until you get him near other children his age and you really see the difference. Plus they have been going on since he was born hes always had mood issues. the whinning and crying stopped when we stopped giving him milk.  But characteristics of ODD are behaviours above beyond children their age and lasting longer then a phase (so 6 months) lol i've been dealing with it forever. 

 

Melly2022
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Mine doesn't self harm and we are very routine and I always explain why he has to do something or why he can't so something. He seems to take his aggression out on the cat in a non mean way if that makes sense
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zolanmel
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 8:57 PM
That doesn't work she will down right have a melt down and want it now. You can not tell her she will get something if she does something .

As for her self harm I watch her. I don't react. Depending on the action is how it's hadled if it's going to hurt her or leave marks then I stop it but it not I let her go to show her it's only hurting her.

It doesn't seem to be a sensory issue. It's her will. She wants what se wants and will not stand for. A no.


Quoting Hottubgodess:

 Ok, I am going to be a different voice.  I HATE the term ODD - My son would have been labled by the school as ODD and he is actually very compliant when you EXPLAIN to him what you need him to do.  If he is glaring at your he is in actuality overloaded sensory and stimuli.  The neurologist said he was definately NOT ODD.  He is 9, with SPD and Aspergers with processing delays.


So let me ask you this......do you see a specific time she is like this?  Look for signs of sensory overload, processing overload or lack of understanding.  Our kids need to have things explained to them in plain terms.  If they comprehend (which is differnt than listening) and process, they are usually pretty easy to work with. 


The neurologist suggested a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" approach - If you get dressed, I will cook a great breakfast.  Or if you clean your room (give specifics in pictures....) I will play a game with you. 

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Hottubgodess
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:43 AM

And that is how Mike started out as well.  He wants it and he wants it now.  He thinks at 9 that we go to the grocery store for a toy.  

The self harm is out of frustration.  The difference is if you leave the room and she stops....looks to see if you are reacting, then goes back to it.  If she is truely melting down, she will not stop and look for your reaction.  

Quoting zolanmel:

That doesn't work she will down right have a melt down and want it now. You can not tell her she will get something if she does something .

As for her self harm I watch her. I don't react. Depending on the action is how it's hadled if it's going to hurt her or leave marks then I stop it but it not I let her go to show her it's only hurting her.

It doesn't seem to be a sensory issue. It's her will. She wants what se wants and will not stand for. A no.


Quoting Hottubgodess:

 Ok, I am going to be a different voice.  I HATE the term ODD - My son would have been labled by the school as ODD and he is actually very compliant when you EXPLAIN to him what you need him to do.  If he is glaring at your he is in actuality overloaded sensory and stimuli.  The neurologist said he was definately NOT ODD.  He is 9, with SPD and Aspergers with processing delays.


So let me ask you this......do you see a specific time she is like this?  Look for signs of sensory overload, processing overload or lack of understanding.  Our kids need to have things explained to them in plain terms.  If they comprehend (which is differnt than listening) and process, they are usually pretty easy to work with. 


The neurologist suggested a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" approach - If you get dressed, I will cook a great breakfast.  Or if you clean your room (give specifics in pictures....) I will play a game with you. 


zolanmel
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:46 PM
She doesn't stop she gets worse cause were not there to stop some behavoirs

Quoting Hottubgodess:

And that is how Mike started out as well.  He wants it and he wants it now.  He thinks at 9 that we go to the grocery store for a toy.  

The self harm is out of frustration.  The difference is if you leave the room and she stops....looks to see if you are reacting, then goes back to it.  If she is truely melting down, she will not stop and look for your reaction.  

Quoting zolanmel:

That doesn't work she will down right have a melt down and want it now. You can not tell her she will get something if she does something .



As for her self harm I watch her. I don't react. Depending on the action is how it's hadled if it's going to hurt her or leave marks then I stop it but it not I let her go to show her it's only hurting her.



It doesn't seem to be a sensory issue. It's her will. She wants what se wants and will not stand for. A no.




Quoting Hottubgodess:

 Ok, I am going to be a different voice.  I HATE the term ODD - My son would have been labled by the school as ODD and he is actually very compliant when you EXPLAIN to him what you need him to do.  If he is glaring at your he is in actuality overloaded sensory and stimuli.  The neurologist said he was definately NOT ODD.  He is 9, with SPD and Aspergers with processing delays.



So let me ask you this......do you see a specific time she is like this?  Look for signs of sensory overload, processing overload or lack of understanding.  Our kids need to have things explained to them in plain terms.  If they comprehend (which is differnt than listening) and process, they are usually pretty easy to work with. 



The neurologist suggested a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" approach - If you get dressed, I will cook a great breakfast.  Or if you clean your room (give specifics in pictures....) I will play a game with you. 


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Hottubgodess
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:36 PM

Ok, so it is not a tantrum.  It is a true meltdown. :)

Quoting zolanmel:

She doesn't stop she gets worse cause were not there to stop some behavoirs

Quoting Hottubgodess:

And that is how Mike started out as well.  He wants it and he wants it now.  He thinks at 9 that we go to the grocery store for a toy.  

The self harm is out of frustration.  The difference is if you leave the room and she stops....looks to see if you are reacting, then goes back to it.  If she is truely melting down, she will not stop and look for your reaction.  

Quoting zolanmel:

That doesn't work she will down right have a melt down and want it now. You can not tell her she will get something if she does something .



As for her self harm I watch her. I don't react. Depending on the action is how it's hadled if it's going to hurt her or leave marks then I stop it but it not I let her go to show her it's only hurting her.



It doesn't seem to be a sensory issue. It's her will. She wants what se wants and will not stand for. A no.




Quoting Hottubgodess:

 Ok, I am going to be a different voice.  I HATE the term ODD - My son would have been labled by the school as ODD and he is actually very compliant when you EXPLAIN to him what you need him to do.  If he is glaring at your he is in actuality overloaded sensory and stimuli.  The neurologist said he was definately NOT ODD.  He is 9, with SPD and Aspergers with processing delays.



So let me ask you this......do you see a specific time she is like this?  Look for signs of sensory overload, processing overload or lack of understanding.  Our kids need to have things explained to them in plain terms.  If they comprehend (which is differnt than listening) and process, they are usually pretty easy to work with. 



The neurologist suggested a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" approach - If you get dressed, I will cook a great breakfast.  Or if you clean your room (give specifics in pictures....) I will play a game with you. 



GELiz
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:52 PM

Opposition/ defiant Disorder.

This can happen when the child has little predictabiity in their life and they get angry about all of the things that they thought would happen, but didn't. If they have the right personality they act out and punish any one that keeps them from being in control of their life.

There are some where no one knowt this way.



zolanmel
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Yeahp. She has been having melt downs for years now true melt downs not temper tantrums . Part of how we got her dxed so fast. I recorded everything. Lots of pictures.

She's just extremely defiant. She has a routine a strict one we do not break it.


Quoting Hottubgodess:

Ok, so it is not a tantrum.  It is a true meltdown. :)

Quoting zolanmel:

She doesn't stop she gets worse cause were not there to stop some behavoirs



Quoting Hottubgodess:

And that is how Mike started out as well.  He wants it and he wants it now.  He thinks at 9 that we go to the grocery store for a toy.  

The self harm is out of frustration.  The difference is if you leave the room and she stops....looks to see if you are reacting, then goes back to it.  If she is truely melting down, she will not stop and look for your reaction.  

Quoting zolanmel:

That doesn't work she will down right have a melt down and want it now. You can not tell her she will get something if she does something .





As for her self harm I watch her. I don't react. Depending on the action is how it's hadled if it's going to hurt her or leave marks then I stop it but it not I let her go to show her it's only hurting her.





It doesn't seem to be a sensory issue. It's her will. She wants what se wants and will not stand for. A no.






Quoting Hottubgodess:

 Ok, I am going to be a different voice.  I HATE the term ODD - My son would have been labled by the school as ODD and he is actually very compliant when you EXPLAIN to him what you need him to do.  If he is glaring at your he is in actuality overloaded sensory and stimuli.  The neurologist said he was definately NOT ODD.  He is 9, with SPD and Aspergers with processing delays.




So let me ask you this......do you see a specific time she is like this?  Look for signs of sensory overload, processing overload or lack of understanding.  Our kids need to have things explained to them in plain terms.  If they comprehend (which is differnt than listening) and process, they are usually pretty easy to work with. 




The neurologist suggested a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" approach - If you get dressed, I will cook a great breakfast.  Or if you clean your room (give specifics in pictures....) I will play a game with you. 



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