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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

aggression, playing too rough. ugh.

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 7:51 PM
  • 16 Replies
hi ladies. my ds, 5, is high functioning autistic with spd and adhd. je has been in kindergarten 2 weeks and i got a note today saying he is too rough, putting his hands on other kids and that two parents have already expressed concern. he had to sit out of recess today which i am fine with.
here is the rub. even thougj he has an iep, they haven't started with him yet.??? i thought he started from day one. and i thought it was daily according to my cipy of the iep, but they are lumping it all in one day??? idk how that is even possible. his teacher gives us two word sentences when we ask about his progress. i don't like her AT ALL. my intuition tells me she is the wrong kind of teacher for him. we are tra nsferring back to the school he started his
therapies in last year asap.
what torques me off is that, 1, he tipped his chair back and hit his head monday. but no one, not even the teacher will give me details as to exactly how it happened. and they didn't call me at home but left a message at his dad's work, which he didn't get till hours later. 2. why didn't his teacher tell me the FIRST time he was roughing up his classmates. and if he is acting out, he should not have gotten green dots for following all the rules everyday this week. her note surprised me as she had been telling us he is 'doing fine' everytime we inquire. he plays rough, though i don't tbink he intends to hurt other kids most of the time. wr have had issues lately with him getting aggressive if he gets jealous of what another kid has and he has been smarting off to me A LOT. this started about a month or so ago, i think. anyway, he needs further ebaluation for sure. he has very poor impulse control and he was learning to modulate his emotions and communicate them verbally last year but seems to have lost that skill, despite me working with him over the summer.
i guess the point of this is partly vent and wondering if anyone had any advice or input. thanks for 'listenin' :)
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by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 7:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
angelenia
by Member on Aug. 31, 2012 at 10:43 PM
i also found out tonight that the teacher nor the aid actually saw him when he fell, and that the boy sitting next to him hits him when he sits down, that the kids are calling him a bully and one of them kicked him in the stomach on the playground. unprovoked.
yeah, way beyond a little torqued at this point.
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angelenia
by Member on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:03 PM
bump
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angelenia
by Member on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:04 PM
bump
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angelenia
by Member on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:06 PM
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MichelleyG
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:38 PM

Hey Angelenia,

How frustrating. I'm glad you are looking into transferring him back to his old school. I hope that he did ok there? I've found that my gut is 99% right when it comes to that 'feeling' we get about teachers. I wonder why you always got the 'fine' if things weren't really fine!

I don't have any good answers, I wished I did. But I'm here for you!!

hugs

angelenia
by Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 1:25 AM
thank you! the support here is amazing. yes, he bloomed last year with only 6 weeks therapy before summer. he will have the same OT which id important to me because his srnsory issues usually ate the precurser to the truly epic meltdowns. he did so well there. he was beginning to actually say what he was feeling rather than acting on it so i was able to help him modulate his emotions so much better. he began speaking in sentences that were contextual and coherent onstead of gibberish or a random movie quote. i think part of his own aggression is boredom. he started reading on his own when he was 2.5 yrs old. he reads third grader books ffs, and they have him wasting his time with words like *at* or *see*. we have been trying to tell his teacher but she simply won't listen. i don't think he gets any personal attention. i mean, how does a kindergarten tip over backwards in their chair, in class and neither adult present knows how it happened? my first reaction when his father told me was that one of his classmates did it, or he was trying to escape the boy next to him who hits him. idk why ds' dad didn't intervene when he saw that. i sure as hell would have. it hurts my heart that my baby is dealing with this so soon


Quoting MichelleyG:

Hey Angelenia,

How frustrating. I'm glad you are looking into transferring him back to his old school. I hope that he did ok there? I've found that my gut is 99% right when it comes to that 'feeling' we get about teachers. I wonder why you always got the 'fine' if things weren't really fine!

I don't have any good answers, I wished I did. But I'm here for you!!

hugs


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MichelleyG
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:02 AM

Do you have an IEP for him? I know that it really helps in getting 'the right stuff' for each child. This year my granddaughter (we are raising her) will have 1 on 1 in her class for first grade. Each child in her class has 1 on 1 which is pretty awesome. For kindergarden the ratio was about 3 to 1 and for kids that have so many sensory issues which lead to meltdowns, it gets kind of tough.

I feel your pain hun. It just flat out sucks when our kids have to deal with bullies (like his tablemate..grrr) and people that don't understand. Teachers included. Hold on to that optimism about having him transferred. xoxo

Quoting angelenia:

thank you! the support here is amazing. yes, he bloomed last year with only 6 weeks therapy before summer. he will have the same OT which id important to me because his srnsory issues usually ate the precurser to the truly epic meltdowns. he did so well there. he was beginning to actually say what he was feeling rather than acting on it so i was able to help him modulate his emotions so much better. he began speaking in sentences that were contextual and coherent onstead of gibberish or a random movie quote. i think part of his own aggression is boredom. he started reading on his own when he was 2.5 yrs old. he reads third grader books ffs, and they have him wasting his time with words like *at* or *see*. we have been trying to tell his teacher but she simply won't listen. i don't think he gets any personal attention. i mean, how does a kindergarten tip over backwards in their chair, in class and neither adult present knows how it happened? my first reaction when his father told me was that one of his classmates did it, or he was trying to escape the boy next to him who hits him. idk why ds' dad didn't intervene when he saw that. i sure as hell would have. it hurts my heart that my baby is dealing with this so soon


Quoting MichelleyG:

Hey Angelenia,

How frustrating. I'm glad you are looking into transferring him back to his old school. I hope that he did ok there? I've found that my gut is 99% right when it comes to that 'feeling' we get about teachers. I wonder why you always got the 'fine' if things weren't really fine!

I don't have any good answers, I wished I did. But I'm here for you!!

hugs



angelenia
by Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 2:28 AM
yes, he has one. there is no way they can squeeze all his therapies in one day. and i can tell he hasn't had any. last year, his improvement was immediate and dramatic. his behavior has drtetiorated at this school. i am guessing his dad waited til afterschool on a friday to tell me everything so i wouldn't go up to the school in a black rage and end up in jail tonight. i have felt rage, but nothing like mother-rage. and i was bullied from the start becausr i had seizures in class, so i know what he is going through. i fucking hate bullies. and my poor son doesn't undetstand why he is neing mistreated. he just wants to play:(


Quoting MichelleyG:

Do you have an IEP for him? I know that it really helps in getting 'the right stuff' for each child. This year my granddaughter (we are raising her) will have 1 on 1 in her class for first grade. Each child in her class has 1 on 1 which is pretty awesome. For kindergarden the ratio was about 3 to 1 and for kids that have so many sensory issues which lead to meltdowns, it gets kind of tough.

I feel your pain hun. It just flat out sucks when our kids have to deal with bullies (like his tablemate..grrr) and people that don't understand. Teachers included. Hold on to that optimism about having him transferred. xoxo

Quoting angelenia:

thank you! the support here is amazing. yes, he bloomed last year with only 6 weeks therapy before summer. he will have the same OT which id important to me because his srnsory issues usually ate the precurser to the truly epic meltdowns. he did so well there. he was beginning to actually say what he was feeling rather than acting on it so i was able to help him modulate his emotions so much better. he began speaking in sentences that were contextual and coherent onstead of gibberish or a random movie quote. i think part of his own aggression is boredom. he started reading on his own when he was 2.5 yrs old. he reads third grader books ffs, and they have him wasting his time with words like *at* or *see*. we have been trying to tell his teacher but she simply won't listen. i don't think he gets any personal attention. i mean, how does a kindergarten tip over backwards in their chair, in class and neither adult present knows how it happened? my first reaction when his father told me was that one of his classmates did it, or he was trying to escape the boy next to him who hits him. idk why ds' dad didn't intervene when he saw that. i sure as hell would have. it hurts my heart that my baby is dealing with this so soon





Quoting MichelleyG:

Hey Angelenia,

How frustrating. I'm glad you are looking into transferring him back to his old school. I hope that he did ok there? I've found that my gut is 99% right when it comes to that 'feeling' we get about teachers. I wonder why you always got the 'fine' if things weren't really fine!

I don't have any good answers, I wished I did. But I'm here for you!!

hugs





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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Sep. 1, 2012 at 7:24 AM

IEPs are federally mandated and they have NO choice but to go by that!  It sounds like the teacher is not the best fit for your son.  I would definitely have him moved to another class if not a different school.  I'm sorry things are tough mama, but you are the BEST advocate for your child and you know him best!  Good luck and keep us posted!

angelenia
by Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 7:30 AM
bump for the sleepin' mamas. especially any that may have some tips to help me help ds with his roughness( which is really just exuberance and joy at playing with other kids but he is a force of nature with that enthusiasm (which he got from me) and comes at other kids with that intensity and it is alot to take. he isn't like that with his friends though. or his cousins. i think part of it may be anxiety around strange kids, especially boys because he doesn't know how to initiate play properly. he is more conversational with girls and thankfully has a small handful of little girls who adore him. ugh. i know i keep saying that but it is really the most precise expression of my disgust and frustration.
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