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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Need some input from you ladies

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:07 AM
  • 10 Replies

I'll try to make this short.  My son is 7 and in first grade in a MINC class, so he spends about 40% of his day with the typical 1st grade class (with an aide) and 60% in the MiNC class.  I went to open house on Monday and got to observe him briefly in the MiNC class, in speech and in PE and Music (with his typical peers).  All went very well except for PE.  The SLP and I walked him to PE, the aide came in a few mins later with the other 1st grader from MINC.  Alex was already in the circle and she and the little girl, C, were on the other side of the gym outside of the circle.  The PE teacher explained the game and then passed out balls to all of the kids on C's side (but didn't give one to C) and gave a basket of balls to a kid on the other side where Alex was to give out balls.  Well, Alex didn't get one either.  The PE teacher and the aide who was still nowhere near my son didn't even seem to notice (or they didn't care).  One nice little boy got Alex a ball.  Then, during the game, Alex threw his ball into the hula hoop, like they were supposed to, but then didn't understand he was supposed to pick up other balls not in the hula hoops and throw them, so he just stood there or would run around but not pick up balls.  Game ended.  They went to play again and the aide got C a ball this time, but didnt really encourage her to participate.  Still no ball for Alex and I said out loud "this is ridiculous" and started marching myself down there figuring I would have to get Alex a ball myself.  Just then the same little boy gave Alex another ball and the same basic thing happened.  I was thinking "God bless that little boy for caring enough to help Alex when the aide and teacher don't seem to care or notice." My blood was boiling.  Then, another little girl gave Alex a ball and the PE teacher told her that was very nice of her and then encouraged Alex to throw the ball into the hula hoop (by this time it was literally the last minute of class).  Sorry this is so long, but what do you ladies think of this situation?  FYI my son does usually follow directions well, but for some reason (maybe large room, chaotic beginning of class, elaborate directions) it went completely over his head.  :(

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:07 AM
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natesmom1228
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:59 AM

To be honest this is not something that I would worry about. He got to play, no matter how it was done. The other kids realized he didn't have a ball and got him one. I would just tell him next time he sees the balls on the ground grab the balls and throw them at the hoop.  This is just my opinion.

letstalk747
by Joy on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:59 AM
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   i think the aide should of been with and giving and showing how the game went and no where else but with the sped kids , i would be livid tooo

jjamom
by Michele on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:01 AM

What bothers me is that I don't know how typical this is.  If it wasn't for the little boy, it is likely my son would have not been given a ball at all.  IMO, that isn't including him (or the little girl, either) in a meaningful way.  What are they really getting out of it?  My son is quiet, well behaved and tends to "go with the flow" so he could easily be overlooked like this all the time.  The aide is supposed to be helping my son access the curriculum.  How could she do that from across the gym and why wasn't she helping C in that regard either?  She got her a ball, but that was the extent of it.  Our kids deserve more from those who are supposed to be actively assisting them.  I don't know this new aide very well, and she isn't with my son all the time, but apparently is 2 days of the week.  The way things were last year were wonderful, every time I was there, I saw him included in meaningful ways and he does need some assistance to do that, but when given the proper assistance, he is successful.  I just felt very frustrated and it worries me that this may be happening more often than this one isolated incident.

Quoting natesmom1228:

To be honest this is not something that I would worry about. He got to play, no matter how it was done. The other kids realized he didn't have a ball and got him one. I would just tell him next time he sees the balls on the ground grab the balls and throw them at the hoop.  This is just my opinion.


jjamom
by Michele on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:08 AM

Thank you.  Two things are bothering me and you hit one of them on the head exactly.  How could the aide be assisting him if she were on the other side of the gym?  Is that typical?  Because if so, that certainly isn't what is supposed to be happening.  If this is what they do when I am there (I believe the PE may not have realized whose parent I was, but the aide knew) what happens on a daily basis?

The other thing bothering me is the PE teacher not paying any attention either.  I understand that she has a big class of 1st graders and that the aide is supposed to be the one offering assistance, but not only did she not seem to notice that Alex didn't have a ball most of the time, she didn't even bother to give C a ball when she passed them out on that side of the room!   She waked right past her.  :(

Quoting letstalk747:

   i think the aide should of been with and giving and showing how the game went and no where else but with the sped kids , i would be livid tooo


mandee1503
by Amanda on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:59 AM
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I have no idea, but I would hope it's not typical. You would think the aide would be more active. Maybe bring that up at your next meeting?

jjamom
by Michele on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:14 PM

Well, our next IEP meeting isn't scheduled until late February.  I do have a conference scheduled with the teacher on Monday, which I have really been looking forward to, because I have a lot of questions, but his teacher had an emergency appendectomy last weekend and now I don't know if he is even going to be able to be there for conferences.  It's so hard sending your child off to school and entrusting people to provide them the care and assistance they need, especially when your child has speech delays that make it very difficult for them to communicate much about their day.  So, this type of situation is just so frustrating.  Beyond the whole inclusion issue, my son has issues with wandering and the aide is on the complete opposite side of the gym?  Ugh!

Quoting mandee1503:

I have no idea, but I would hope it's not typical. You would think the aide would be more active. Maybe bring that up at your next meeting?


MicheleJM
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:09 PM
I think both the aid and the teacher need to be more active. If this teacher isnt there Monday schedule another conference. I dont like this exclusion issue with your ds.


Quoting jjamom:

Well, our next IEP meeting isn't scheduled until late February.  I do have a conference scheduled with the teacher on Monday, which I have really been looking forward to, because I have a lot of questions, but his teacher had an emergency appendectomy last weekend and now I don't know if he is even going to be able to be there for conferences.  It's so hard sending your child off to school and entrusting people to provide them the care and assistance they need, especially when your child has speech delays that make it very difficult for them to communicate much about their day.  So, this type of situation is just so frustrating.  Beyond the whole inclusion issue, my son has issues with wandering and the aide is on the complete opposite side of the gym?  Ugh!


Quoting mandee1503:

I have no idea, but I would hope it's not typical. You would think the aide would be more active. Maybe bring that up at your next meeting?



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jjamom
by Michele on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:45 PM

Thanks.  I don't like the exclusion thing either.  For my DS or for his classmate.  They were so good about it last year, so I really hope it is an isolated incident, but who knows, and if so, why would the do that on the day I am visiting??

I asked his aide (the good one) at dismissal time if she thinks the teacher will be there Monday for conference and she said he is supposed to be, but told me to call the office and make sure on Monday morning.  If he doesn't make it, I will definitely reschedule.

Quoting MicheleJM:

I think both the aid and the teacher need to be more active. If this teacher isnt there Monday schedule another conference. I dont like this exclusion issue with your ds.


Quoting jjamom:

Well, our next IEP meeting isn't scheduled until late February.  I do have a conference scheduled with the teacher on Monday, which I have really been looking forward to, because I have a lot of questions, but his teacher had an emergency appendectomy last weekend and now I don't know if he is even going to be able to be there for conferences.  It's so hard sending your child off to school and entrusting people to provide them the care and assistance they need, especially when your child has speech delays that make it very difficult for them to communicate much about their day.  So, this type of situation is just so frustrating.  Beyond the whole inclusion issue, my son has issues with wandering and the aide is on the complete opposite side of the gym?  Ugh!


Quoting mandee1503:

I have no idea, but I would hope it's not typical. You would think the aide would be more active. Maybe bring that up at your next meeting?




darbyakeep45
by Darby on Nov. 16, 2012 at 7:29 PM

Nope, this situation doesn't give me the warm fuzzies at all....if you know what I mean:)  If I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way.  There's no reason why the aide shouldn't have been right with your son for the majority of the time...and the PE teacher...what is this?  Social hour!  And how precious of that other little boy to give your son a ball...just goes to show that there are some awesome "typical" kids out there who help others!  I would definitely have a conversation with the aide about the situation asking what she was doing when she should have been working with your son:)  

Sorry...I've had a long day, and got Brady's progress reports and I'm not happy with them...his teachers aren't being fair and we're calling an IEP meeting for after Thanksgiving to get stuff taken care of and some goals changed...I'm not a happy mama right now!  

jjamom
by Michele on Nov. 17, 2012 at 9:43 AM
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Thank you for that, Darby. It was really frustrating and heartbreaking to stand there and watch and then that sweet little boy who helped him, I just wanted to give him a hug! Thank God for people (big and small) with loving hearts like that!

I am so sorry you all are going through so much right now, between the IEP stuff and the stuff with the MRSA. I will be keeping your precious little guy and you and his Dad in my prayers. HUGS!


Quoting darbyakeep45:

Nope, this situation doesn't give me the warm fuzzies at all....if you know what I mean:)  If I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way.  There's no reason why the aide shouldn't have been right with your son for the majority of the time...and the PE teacher...what is this?  Social hour!  And how precious of that other little boy to give your son a ball...just goes to show that there are some awesome "typical" kids out there who help others!  I would definitely have a conversation with the aide about the situation asking what she was doing when she should have been working with your son:)  

Sorry...I've had a long day, and got Brady's progress reports and I'm not happy with them...his teachers aren't being fair and we're calling an IEP meeting for after Thanksgiving to get stuff taken care of and some goals changed...I'm not a happy mama right now!  


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