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Here's something that makes me shudder

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:14 PM
  • 17 Replies
My DD21 who has High Functioning Autism (formerly known as Asperger's) still lives at home and has *just* brought up the dating question (I.e can she date). As I said in a previous post I'm having issues with her going somewhere and *not* being honest about where she's going so this makes me 10 times more concerned that she's going to get hurt or even killed somewhere. My question is were your rules different for your 'special' kiddos to your 'typical' ones and what rules would you have in place for them? Like I said DD is 21 but functioning at 16/17; so even if I said no she can still legally walk out my front door with a man if I hated him/thought he had bad intentions. Thanks ladies :)
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by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 9:34 AM
I'd say let but have certain guidelines you want her to follow (group dates only, you meet him, calls you if she is ever uncomfortable or needs help). And make sure that whoever she does date understands her condition.
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trio8707
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 9:43 AM

My children are only 5, according to DH dating won't be a thought for any of them for at least 30 years regardless of their special needs LOL  

i.heart.myboys
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 10:04 AM
I don't know what I would do honestly. But make sure there are some sort of guidelines that might make you feel comfortable.
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singlemotherof8
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 10:19 AM

My dd is 21 but she likes staying home so i don';t have to worry about her. I also have guadianship of her, but i still let her make dicissions. 

DesireMM
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 10:30 AM

I am not much help. My dd is only 8 yrs old and has no interest in boys. She tells me she never wants to be married or have children. We have always tried to keep our rules and guidelines for her the same as the other children. But dating I think will have to be different. I am very protective and don't want her in a situation that could be harmful to her.

Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Dec. 13, 2012 at 11:09 AM
I haven't been there, but honestly I think rules have to be different for different kids in regards to their maturity, safety awareness etc...

I would lay down some rule about it like a PP said, you need to meet the guy and have him over before they can go out etc
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lifeisajoy
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 11:37 AM

You are looking after her safety!!!  I would say due to her special needs -she needs to tell you where she is going and what time she will be home-

GleekingOut
by Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 2:36 PM
And if she lies about where she is?


Quoting lifeisajoy:

You are looking after her safety!!!  I would say due to her special needs -she needs to tell you where she is going and what time she will be home-


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GleekingOut
by Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Part of me thinks she'd just lie and say she was hanging out with a friend instead of where she really was.


Quoting arkansasmama08:

I'd say let but have certain guidelines you want her to follow (group dates only, you meet him, calls you if she is ever uncomfortable or needs help). And make sure that whoever she does date understands her condition.

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arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 4:41 PM
There's really nothing else you can do Hun. I know it's scary and all parents go through it regardless of whether they have special needs or not. I don't look forward to mine being teens, that's for sure!! But, at that point in their life you really don't have much control. Legally she's an adult. All you can do is set your limits, let her go, and pray like crazy that she's honest and taking care of herself. *hugs mama* I know it can't be easy.


Quoting GleekingOut:

Part of me thinks she'd just lie and say she was hanging out with a friend instead of where she really was.




Quoting arkansasmama08:

I'd say let but have certain guidelines you want her to follow (group dates only, you meet him, calls you if she is ever uncomfortable or needs help). And make sure that whoever she does date understands her condition.


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