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Need alot of advice

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:28 AM
  • 15 Replies

My name is Felicia and I have a 7 yr old daughhter who has been diagnosed Aspergers AD/HD both types ODD and adaptation behaviors. Im needing help on how to get my daughter to go to bed without me and how to get her meltdowns to a minimum. They have her on meds to keep the meltdowns at bay during the day but when she comes home from school they are really bad. The bad thing about it is I am a single mother who works all the time to make ends meet. I get to see my daughter at night when i pick her up from sitters and put her to bed. On the nights that i am off is when i struggle the most to get her to bed. She wants to sleep with me and when she was a baby i did not let her sleep with me very often i would wake up to her crawling in bed with me. I would like to break this habit as well. Ive tried the bribery ive tried the reward system ive tried everything i can possibly think of that would not only help her but also teach her. Please help i am at my wits end with this issue. Any kind of advice will be greatly appreciated.

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:28 AM
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by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:08 AM

i wish i had a magic answer. :( sounds like a tough situation. for my son, we used the poker chip reward/consequence system and it took a while ( a few months ) but it worked.  and its a simple way that can translate easy to care givers as well.  if you want to message me i can try and type up something.  this system was a class my husband and i took that was SEVErAL weeks long and had a notebook to keep things in.. but the gist of it is pretty simple and you can make your own notebook for her to keep with the care givers. 

i believe that more tools in your box can only help ... wish i had more to offer.  my son is bi polar/add/odd.  we have dealth with much of the ups and downs and meltdowns (rages) i know how traumatic they can be on the family.  and to be honest, the age between 6 and 8 was especially difficult with his rages.  sounds like this is where you are at right now.. just know, i can relate.. hugs

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:18 AM

thank you i would like that!!!! You have been a big help..

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:25 AM

Do you have a consistent bed time?  Does the sitter?  Like brush teeth, wash face, listen to quiet/relaxing music, read, pray (this is just example) and bed--Will she stay in the room if she is having meltdowns?  If so can you just let her have the meltdown and she will go to sleep-say I care about you and it is time for bed-goodnight--

If I think of anything else I will talk to you-

by Darby on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:28 AM

Welcome!  Is your daughter in any therapies?  How about school?  Any therapists or teachers that might have ideas for you would be a good resource.  Hugs mama!

by Dawn on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:18 PM

There is help out there for her if you have not reached out for it before now. She qualifies for Special Education services ( for free through the school, and all you have to do is request it in writing. The local Easter Seals ( has some great services for those with Autism. Consistency in scheduling through predictability can help her a lot with her problems. I will include some other resources to help you.

Beautifully Talanted Autistic Social Story Author
Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
Diagnosed Edema (since young)
Author Page: (has discounts)

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 9:33 AM

Consistant bedtime every night even on weekends of 8. She has a routine that is followed at home as well as at the babysitters.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 9:35 AM

As for the meltdowns they always happen in her room. The only issue is my room mate works odd hours and so when its time for her to go to bed hes been in bed for a while. So trying to defuse a meltdown before he wakes up is hard.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 9:36 AM

Yes she sees a therapist two times a month and also goes to school and does wonderful there. They say they havent had any meltdowns yet.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 9:37 AM

Thank you ladies... I do have them working on her IEP at the school as well as trying to get her adjusted to me working hours that i would normally be seeing her.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Im sorry but my son has always taken some type of sleep aid to go to sleep and to stay asleep.  I would hate to tell you to "drug" your child anymore.  But my son was taking cloidine (sp?) but recently switched to melatonin (non prescrip so cheaper).  We give 3mg (hes a 10yo boy) one hour before bed time and it calms him down so he is able to fall asleep and stay asleep.

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