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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

IEP Meeting Advice - ANOTHER Update

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:41 PM
  • 23 Replies
1 mom liked this

My son's IEP meeting is scheduled for this coming Thursday.  He was sick and was out of school all last week and school is closed Monday and Tuesday of this week for students, due to end of semester.  They are both teacher workday/in-service days.  So, last week when he was out, I emailed and asked about the Draft IEP (which it specifically states on the IEP notice will be provided 5 business days before the meeting).  He told me he would have it mailed out right away -- this was Thursday morning).  So, when the mail came yesterday and I had still not received it (I live 1.5 miles from the school), I emailed him and asked if he had sent it out.  I have not heard back.  I understand it is the weekend, but now I am concerned.  I do not want to have to wait until Wednesday to get a copy of the Draft IEP for a Thursday morning IEP meeting.  How am I supposed to be prepared in that little amount of time?  This teacher is new this year and has several times over not sent home things he had promised (work samples, for example) always stating that he apologizes, but things were really busy.  I am thinking he may have never sent it out.!  So, I tried to be cordial in my email and ask if it had been sent out, saying "if so, thank you" and "if not, please let me know what time I can come to the school on Monday to pick it up, as I was hoping to have it to take with me to Alex's speech session on Monday afternoon so that I can get her input".  What would to do in this situation?  If you cannot get the Draft IEP before Wednesday, would you ask to have the meeting rescheduled?  I already informed him that I would be attending in that day.  I do not under any circumstances want them to hold the meeting without me there!  Any feedback would be appreciated.  Thanks.


oh, I forgot to mention that he may or may not be at the school tomorrow and Tuesday, because sometimes in-services are done off-site.

UPDATE:  I got the Draft IEP in the mail yesterday.  I do have some issues with a few things, most important that there is NO mention of Fine Motor/OT.  Unless it is an oversight (praying it was, that maybe the OT who is not based at his school just didn't get her stuff in on time) I am really upset.  Fine Motor is one of my son's weakest areas.  If I can think of a few things essential to a child's success in school, at the top of that list is being able to write.  He is 7 1/2 and can barely write his name (first only and just barely legibly, and not always at that).  He can't write the letters of the alphabet, his numbers or anything else.  He has very low muscle tone in his hands (all over his body, really, but hands very low), he has tiny hands (which is typical of kids with DS) and he also has fused thumb joints (not typical of kids with DS).  He is in first grade.  I do not mind working with him on this stuff at home and know I am able, as I was an Elementary School teacher, but my son needs help on this.  He needs goals and services to this end.  Am I just crazy or doesn't he deserve and NEED this?  Going to send an email to his teacher (who is listed on the IEP as his case manager) and find out what happened to the OT portion.  

NEW UPDATE:  I emailed Alex's teacher this am and he emailed back with the contact information for the OT.  I just spoke with her on the phone and she emailed me his updates, to include his new goals and objectives, so YES, he will continue to get OT services.  WHEW, now I can breathe again!!  Thanks Ladies for all of the support and comments!  I think the IEP will go relatively smoothly now, only a few issues I want to hash out!  

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
blessed4918
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:02 PM

Hi I was nervous about this school year my daughter attends our other high school she along with some of her classmates got selected for the lifeskills program here after that long period of time we had to adujust to new bus driver aide teacher etc her one one one aide is with her before she left her other school her teacher and I communicated he was new to but I had no problems with him about IEP meetings etc to me which you are doing going to have to stay on top of this teacher come on yes I know he may get busy but it seems like he is always forgetting something.


I say do not reschdule the meeting due to me not been able to drive and some schools Brittany has went to were to far the teacher has sent the draft home with her before our meeting for me to go over so I could send questions that could be asked with me not there again teacher needs to step up and work with you I take that back reschedule if need be but as soon as possible and just between you and I the teacher may of not sent the draft out sometimes if you could stand somewhere and watch some of them let me stop hope I helped but you stay on top of him.

letstalk747
by Joy on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:02 PM

 things like this have happened to me too , i get so tired of the staff playing GOD with my life- and i homeschool my 12 yr old but he goes to 2 groups at the middle school so he still has a IEP] I GUESS ONE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT YOU CAN GO PICK UP A COPY-if that never happens i would say  -as im sure you already know- have what you want all ready with notes and take the last IEP with you at least you can refer  back to what was on your last iep at this meeting.

letstalk747
by Joy on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:04 PM

  oh i wouldnt reschedule a  IEP  meeting myself its too hard to get everyone there at the same time so if i have one scheduled at least i know most of the IEP team will be there

momof2js946
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Here's what I do. One week before the meeting I ask for the drafts to be emailed to me. If I don't receive it 3 days before the meeting, I tell them that I still haven't recieved it and would like to remind them. Then  if I don't recieve it before the meeting, I still attend the meeting, gather all of the documents, then get up and tell them that I will close this meeting (not sign anything! but the attendance line) and then I tell them that I will review all documents and get back to them in a week. Which I do. 

It's very hard to get all of his service people to agree on a date, so I rarely postpone the meeting. But if they don't get me the documents ahead of time, I will not sign or agree to anything. 

I too got tired of them dictating when the meeting was going to be and for me to accomodate them, made it harder on my family and me. So I put a stop to it. For the last 4 yrs the school nurse would call me the day of the meeting and asked me to help her update his information, which she would say  word for word at the meeting-like she's done her job! Finally I got sick of it and told her I was busy with work and couldn't talk-Gee somehow she instantly got sick and couldn't attend the meeting a 1/2 hour later. S0 when the director of the meeting told me about her illness, I told him that was odd I just talked to her a 1/2 hour earlier!! So I also told him that I will not be taking phone calls the morning of the meeting to "help anyone do their reports." Needless to say they didn't like hearing this. 


sammygrl77
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 8:20 PM
That's a great idea to go ahead with the meeting and not sign it.


Quoting momof2js946:

Here's what I do. One week before the meeting I ask for the drafts to be emailed to me. If I don't receive it 3 days before the meeting, I tell them that I still haven't recieved it and would like to remind them. Then  if I don't recieve it before the meeting, I still attend the meeting, gather all of the documents, then get up and tell them that I will close this meeting (not sign anything! but the attendance line) and then I tell them that I will review all documents and get back to them in a week. Which I do. 

It's very hard to get all of his service people to agree on a date, so I rarely postpone the meeting. But if they don't get me the documents ahead of time, I will not sign or agree to anything. 

I too got tired of them dictating when the meeting was going to be and for me to accomodate them, made it harder on my family and me. So I put a stop to it. For the last 4 yrs the school nurse would call me the day of the meeting and asked me to help her update his information, which she would say  word for word at the meeting-like she's done her job! Finally I got sick of it and told her I was busy with work and couldn't talk-Gee somehow she instantly got sick and couldn't attend the meeting a 1/2 hour later. S0 when the director of the meeting told me about her illness, I told him that was odd I just talked to her a 1/2 hour earlier!! So I also told him that I will not be taking phone calls the morning of the meeting to "help anyone do their reports." Needless to say they didn't like hearing this. 



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mandee1503
by Amanda on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Good luck!

kimber2465
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this

if you do not have it by monday afternoon - go to the school request it.( i have several family members that teach sn). i don't reschedule meetings ( unless er happens). even if i don't have a copy yet. i go, meet with everyone, but do not sign anything. i let them know when we will be meeting again. i do give them the option of what day, time, ect. however they do have time limits when this stuff has to be done. however most like you to think that is on their time, and take longer...

momof2js946
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:35 PM

When you go to an IEP meeting you do not have to agree to everything and sign it right then. You do have the right to postpone the meeting, ask for a continuation (mine are sometimes 4 to 5 hours long and usually on a friday afternoon) So everyone wants out of there! Or you can tell them "Thank you" and sign that you attended the meeting and tell them that you will review it and get back to them. 

Here in CA you have a week to get back to them (I believe it's a week) then they start getting nervous, because remember they cannot start any new goals or services until they have your signature. So YOU are the one in control. 

I have even signed the IEP attendance line, agreed to some of the IEP and had them revise it 3 times, then I signed in agreement. If it's not what you feel is best for your child (in your heart) then DON"T agree to it!!

You don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option.


 

jjamom
by Michele on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:19 AM
Thanks Ladies! I heard back from his teacher. He claims he mailed it (didn't say when). I certainly hope so, but I know that if he mailed it when he said he would, I should have had it by now! Like I said, he is horrible about follow through on sending work samples, etc home. I had wanted to take it with me to his private speech therapist today and get her input, but even if I get it today, I won't get it before the appt time. But, I am still hoping I will get it today, so I have a few days to review it and be prepared for the meeting. I would rather not have to delay the meeting or delay signing it, but feel I deserve adequate time to review it and formulate input on it as well!

<
He also said that I couldn't pick it up today because Elem school teachers don't have to work. My kids are on Semester break today and tomorrow, but it is supposed to be teacher workdays. So, I looked at the calendar again and it says "Professional Development/Teacher Inservice for Elementary and Middle School Teachers ". Hmmm, I wonder if he just doesn't want me showing up at the school asking for the paperwork? I am going to drive by the school today (1.5 miles from my house) and see if the teacher's cars are there! I just don't like feeling like I am being lied to.
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tanie86
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:23 AM

It is your right to have the IEP BEFORE the meeting. I know every state is different but if you feel prepared enough go ahead with the meeting BUT you need to put an end to the teachers irresponsibility. Let him know nicely you understand things get busy but that does not mean it is OK to let responsibilities slide especially if it is something he is supposed to be doing. If you do not feel prepared call and tell him you want to reschedule because you never received the papers he said he was sending you. This should also let him know you want him to follow protocols.

It may seem a bit "in your face" attitude, but I can personally say I am the.. wait patiently and they will get around to it... type of person, and the ball has been dropped a couple of times because of it. I was told when I moved to SC from PA that my sons IEP would be honored and they would continue his services as PA had written down here. He came in to the school a year ago in January... In November of this past year I asked his teacher how often he was getting speech therapy because I just couldn't understand why he still isn't talking well he turned 4 in September and I couldn't understand anything he was saying. getting speech once a week should mean hes improving so i was concerned there was something going on with him.... she informed me he was not getting speech because the school speech therapist didn't think he needed it even though it was on his IEP. so for 10 school months he should have been getting speech he was not and i had no idea. NOW they are adding speech to his classroom services because i happened to ask.... i was outraged. but i stayed very calm and told them they needed to get it started asap! not to mention it is illegal to take services off the IEP without telling the parents...

you do what you feel you need to do and definantely talk to the teacher about being more responsible!

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