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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Between a rock and a hard place.....

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:05 PM
  • 10 Replies

Okay Ladies, This might get long. 

Here's my dilema, I am married to my hubby for 27 yrs, have one teenager (boy) and a 10yr. old (boy). My youngest is special needs: blind, spd, kleinfelter's baby and ebstein's anomally (heart condition).

My two sons do not get along right now. Teenagers being teenagers-don't want anything to do with younger brother and thinks he's very spoiled. Which both of them are (I admit).

Well teenager being teenager uses cus words around younger brother and younger brother takes them to school and thinks it funny to use these words. But that's not all he says! He has come up with this statement that could and probably misconstrued as sexual abuse by my hubby. But there's nothing going on!! He is doing this for attention and thinks it's funny to say this.

Well teachers and admininstrators by law have to report this kind of statement to county child welfare office. Last time it was mentioned my hubby :Blew up" and told me that if he is going to be accused of something like this, then he will leave me and my sons. He's tired of being a dad (never really wanted to be one in the first place) and he will leave me over this, cuz he's not going to jail for something he hasn't done.

Well tonight I got another phone call from the county socila services office and they do not want to turn it over to CPS, but are concerned. Iv'e told them the whole story and they understand that we are at a loss of what to do. He has a physc that has him on Prozac, but doesn't do talk therapy, the school phsyc is aware of his conditions and understands why he is doing this and has explained it to social services. I havent' told my hubby about the two phone calls, because I don't want to go thru another fight over it. We have given him so many replacement words, that nothing sticks. We have tried time outs, bribing, taking away favorite toys and such, but nothing seems to work. So now social services wants to send someone out to see if they have any services they can offer. I am starting a new job on Friday and I know I am not going to sleep well over this!

Any ideas would be much appreciated. Again I know that when children are reported, the parents are the first to deny it, but honestly I hope they do send someone out to see what's going on and that my kids are truely spoiled and this is the way my youngest gets attention. 

HELP!!!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
aponder
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:46 PM

BUMP!

gma12.1
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:30 AM

Sorry that you are going thru this. I wish I had some experience to help you out with.

My Second time around & loving it!
boy n girl     toddler girlLina

The Twins

jjamom
by Michele on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:07 AM
Good luck! I have no advice, but here's a bump.
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:23 AM

Oh hugs mama!  I know this must be hard!

Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:17 PM
I can't imagine... I'm sorry.
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natesmom1228
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:23 PM

I guess my first question why do you allow your teenager to cuss? That is not teenagers being teenagers, it's we have no rules so we are allowed too.

 You need to be tougher and let them know you are the boss. When you take things away, how long do you take them away for? You are admitting they are spoiled, which is fine, but you need to start taking some control of them.

babyluv23
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:23 PM

Hugs!!

sammygrl77
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:21 PM
(((Hugs))) I don't have any ideas. Hopefully the social worker will be able to give you some resources or ideas.
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susan115
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:10 AM

 Honestly, you have to try to explain the situation to your older son, explain what is going on and how it will effect him and the family.  Then, he has to talk to the younger brother to help put a stop to this.  The school should know better, they know your son and your family.  I know it's good deeds run amuck, but this will destroy your family.  Just keep working on it and it will get better, my heart goes out to you and your family.  Also, ask you school if they can help with solutions for "behavior modifications", that may help since he likes the reaction from others.  I, promise they will get better over time  Please keep up posted.  You have put so much energy into your family, there is a special place in heaven for you.

lifeisajoy
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:49 AM

Hugs mama! I have teenager and yes oh my they can be a handful at times--You have to set down limits and boundaries though-and just going to have to understand sometimes they are going to mad at you and that is a teenager.  Also understand a crisis to them is a crisis-such as a certain sport or club ending-they may be sad -they may be snappy-that is ok but tell them they can come to you and talk-I do not tolerate swearing at each other and I am very clear at that-

Can you get some parenting support?  It is ok to ask for that-

Hugs and take care-Teenagers can be wonderful and can also be --uggh hair pull out!!  Take care and talk to me anytime

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