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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

*sigh*

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 5:58 PM
  • 19 Replies

Disappointed mommy but that will never change the fact that i love my son. 


His teacher said for the past 3 weeks he has been acting up, not following routines in class, etc...i blame myself for allowing my parents to never follow a routine with my son...he does not follow rules or sleep when it's bedtime. From now on no more sleepovers at my parents house. I want him to follow routine as we all know kids NEED that, so important. My parents spoil jaden so much they let him do whatever he pleases. It makes it harder on us and his teacher. I just hope he can get back in to the groove of things again.....*sigh* he usually gets a green star but i was suprised to find a red star which is bad. I think his teacher should have notified us about my son's behaviour dont know why she waited 2-3 weeks later to say something. 


What do you moms do, when your child hasn't behaved in school? What kind of consequences does your child face at home?? 

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 5:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jjamom
by Michele on Feb. 13, 2013 at 6:05 PM
1 mom liked this

We haven't had any behavior issues with my son, but I can sympathize with the part about the Grandparents that spoil so much and let them do whatever they please, set their own bedtime, etc.  We know they love them and that they want the kids to love being with them, but the kids will still love them just as much if they have some simple rules and routine.  Maybe you can explain it to your parents that way and be honest about how it is affecting him at school.  do you think they'd be receptive to it?  Hang in there!

mandee1503
by Amanda on Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:05 PM

We aren't in school yet. Good luck!

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 5:16 AM
1 mom liked this
We homeschool but I do discipline my kids when they act up away from home. They may get a time out when I get them back or lose a privilege like watching their bedtime cartoons or resting instead if napping in the afternoon.
You might want to try introducing a picture schedule and reward chart at home and see if that helps get him in routine. We use 3 smiley faces, 1 happy green face, 1 yellow straight face, and 1 red sad face. For each 2 timeouts they get they move down from green. If they get on yellow they lose a favorite toy for the day. If they get on red in the morning, they nap instead of rest. If they're on red at dinner time, they go straight to bed after dinner. I start them back on green at naptime, seems more effective. But it's really worked :) especially now that we're buckling down and addressing some attitude and behavior issues (back talk, whining, arguing).
As for the teacher, she may have just been waiting to see if he worked thru his funk on his own in a decent amount of time before alerting you to the problem. I hate that they do that too. I had my oldest in school for a month before we pulled him to homeschool and the communication was pathetic. I had specifically asked for communication regarding any and all behavior problems and got nothing :(
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 14, 2013 at 5:24 AM
1 mom liked this

First of all, hugs mama!  I'm sorry as I know this must be hard.  I would have a serious talk with the grandparents explaining to them if they want to continue to spend as much time with him, they HAVE to listen to you and follow your instructions in regards to his routine.  After all, they want what is best for Jaden right?  

My son is 4 years old but has the mentality of a 10 month old so he doesn't understand a lot to be honest.  He doesn't really know how to misbehave at school...other than trying to jump out of his chair or running from his teacher!  LOL!  He doesn't really have consequences at home as he doesn't get it.  

Hugs and good luck!

CameronsMommy23
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:16 AM
1 mom liked this
When Cameron doesn't follow directions at school his teacher sends me a note about it and then he loses special privileges that night at home. For instance he likes to watch Netflix so we take that away. Also we reward good behavior with a special dessert that night or activity that he enjoys. He's on an ADHD medication & he really doesn't get into actual trouble, it's more that he literally can not stay focused sometimes.
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babyluv23
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:56 AM

Thanks everyone. I spoke to my mom, and sadly she denies spoiling him when he sleeps over her house. I know for a fact they just let him do whatever he wants...no strict bedtime either. I don't know how to trust my parents..sadly my mom would never admit to any of her wrong doings. She doesn't wanna look like the bad guy smh. 


Where can I get a chart with stickers/behavior....when u plan out the schedule is it laid out in a big chart??? I need tips where i can buy these things. If you have pics i would like to see it would be very helpful just to get an idea. Thanks ladies i appreciate this so much!!! Xo

natesmom1228
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:14 AM

Does he have rules at home? I don't think blaming your parents is entirely fair. You are the parents and you need to lay down the law as to what is appropriate. I don't put up with my son not behaving anywhere.

babyluv23
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:03 PM


Quoting natesmom1228:

Does he have rules at home? I don't think blaming your parents is entirely fair. You are the parents and you need to lay down the law as to what is appropriate. I don't put up with my son not behaving anywhere.

Yes we have rules at home. I allow my parents and trust them to have a routine with my son so i take blame in that, and it's partly their fault for too for letting him do whatever he wants without a routine. But my mom chooses not to be truthful and acknowledge this with me. It would help if she wasn't in denial LOL...but i am moving forward and want to focus on how he can become better. As of now i am not allowing my parents to have him on weekends for sleepovers.

natesmom1228
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:15 PM

I guess I just don't understand how the weekends can dictate how you parent during the week. Once your child comes home, then you should be tough and make sure he follows the rules or he is punished. That's fine with taking away your child not staying with his grandparents, but to me that is not always the answer.

I wish you luck and hope things get better :)


Quoting babyluv23:

 

Quoting natesmom1228:

Does he have rules at home? I don't think blaming your parents is entirely fair. You are the parents and you need to lay down the law as to what is appropriate. I don't put up with my son not behaving anywhere.

Yes we have rules at home. I allow my parents and trust them to have a routine with my son so i take blame in that, and it's partly their fault for too for letting him do whatever he wants without a routine. But my mom chooses not to be truthful and acknowledge this with me. It would help if she wasn't in denial LOL...but i am moving forward and want to focus on how he can become better. As of now i am not allowing my parents to have him on weekends for sleepovers.


 

babyluv23
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:28 PM


Quoting natesmom1228:

I guess I just don't understand how the weekends can dictate how you parent during the week. Once your child comes home, then you should be tough and make sure he follows the rules or he is punished. That's fine with taking away your child not staying with his grandparents, but to me that is not always the answer.

I wish you luck and hope things get better :)


Quoting babyluv23:


Quoting natesmom1228:

Does he have rules at home? I don't think blaming your parents is entirely fair. You are the parents and you need to lay down the law as to what is appropriate. I don't put up with my son not behaving anywhere.

Yes we have rules at home. I allow my parents and trust them to have a routine with my son so i take blame in that, and it's partly their fault for too for letting him do whatever he wants without a routine. But my mom chooses not to be truthful and acknowledge this with me. It would help if she wasn't in denial LOL...but i am moving forward and want to focus on how he can become better. As of now i am not allowing my parents to have him on weekends for sleepovers.



What you don't know is at home we always do routine with him. As soon as he is off to sleep at my parent's house.....No Routine whatsoever. My son does whatever he wants because my parents simply let him. As soon as he comes back home to us, it's like he forgot his routine all over again. So that makes it difficult on us, and his teacher. My parents in this situation isn't helping so for now, he won't be sleeping there anymore. His teacher agrees as well, this could possibly be as to why he is acting up in class. It's surprising because he was never this way, until he started staying with my parents.

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