Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Concerned about 4yo- help?

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:58 AM
  • 10 Replies
Hey, I'm new here...just kind of at a bit of a loss and hoping to learn from someone else's experience. I'll try not to be til long....

I have a 4yo son who has a range of mild but accumulating issues that I noticed starting at 18mos. Repetitive behaviors (fixation), speech delay (but also blocked ears), sensory seeking behavior like crashing, tip toes, falling down. We've been to several drs, not to be pushy but out of concern. We were told he had many red flags by some drs, but then told that's he's too social to have any form asd. That was 2 yts ago, now he goes to preschool with an IEP for speech and
Social skills.

We thought all was well, but having now lived with parents a few months, they have expressed concern with some things that we notice but didn't think anything of. I'm thinking now that the routine of preschool is masking some things he really does struggle with. These things my
Parents mentioned... Which I notice but thought nothing of in the scheme of things:

1) he sings or hums constantly unless very engrossed in an activity that is stimulating. I don't think he knows he's doing it, so telling him to stop doesn't work
2) wipes his mouth between every bite he eats with paper towel..sometimes several times
3) gets stuck in a loop when he's talking and the harder he thinks about it the worse it gets. Repeating whole words or phrases. Not all the time, and not really like studdering
4) Asks same questions dozens of times, and if I slow him down and ask him what hea already been told, sometimes he knows sometimes not

As well as the physical sensory seeking behavior from before, but under More control

I kinda overlooked this stuff- or at least disregarded it because he's not so glaringly different, just a "goofy , quirky" kid. But now that others are pointing out concerns , it's like the blinders have been pulled up.

These sound too complicated to be tics but not really normal behavior in the volume that it happens. Anyone experience anything like this???
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:58 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
aimeegreen4ever
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:04 AM
Sounds similar to my DS. He just got diagnosed pdd-nos, so he's on the autism spectrum. If your concerned find someone who will listen to your concerns and do an evaluation.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Lauren917
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:12 AM
1 mom liked this
Is your son social? Mine
Is extreme social...overbearing at times, which is why we were told no asd

I didnt really understand how lack of one symptom would discredit the others. I should have pushed harder, now I'm going to start
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Taylor080608
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:34 AM

My daughter did a lot f the same things and we weren't surprised in November that she was diagnosed on the autism spectrum, but it has opened a ton of doors for her

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:53 AM

There is no such thing as "too social to be autistic"...not in my opinion.  There are 6 different criteria for being on the spectrum...social is just ONE of them.  Your son could meet all the other 5 criteria and still be on the spectrum.  You only have to meet 4 of the 6 to be on the spectrum.  I would get a second opinion if I were you:)  Hugs and good luck mama!

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:54 AM

My son is extremely social...in his own way.  He's 4 years old but nonverbal.  He makes sounds, but doesn't talk nor does he sign.  He has great eye contact and loves to laugh and smile.  Social was the ONLY criteria that he didn't meet to be on the spectrum.  He met all 5 of the other criteria.  Hugs mama!  Keep fighting!

Quoting Lauren917:

Is your son social? Mine
Is extreme social...overbearing at times, which is why we were told no asd

I didnt really understand how lack of one symptom would discredit the others. I should have pushed harder, now I'm going to start


jjamom
by Michele on Feb. 27, 2013 at 7:37 AM
I agree with the other Moms, get another opinion. Have you taken him to a developmental pediatrician?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Lauren917
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 8:35 AM
We went through our own ped, who spent a lot of time and was concerned initially when he was transitioning from birth to 3 to preschool. It was our teacher that kept saying he was doing great, had never seen a kid with autism
Function that well, so she thought it wasnt going to help him to get a label. We kind of felt like we were jerks at the end of it and
Over reacting because he did so well with the structure. The ped agreed to follow the teacher's lead. But now we have moved- so I can start over.
As I was trying to explain to my parents how to handle certain things, I realized that it's become second nature to us, so we are missing the fact that it's still an issue since we have our own work-around, ya know?

Going to make an appointment today. Thanks for all of your support :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
opinionatedmom
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this

my son had blocked ears and did most of what you are talking about. he is on a singing phase right now. songs he learns at school and sees on tv. now that he can hear. telliing him to stop wont work if he can't hear you. if his ears are blocked he can't hear you to mind.  wiping his mouth I am sure he picked up at school. mine is one a washing his hands phase. 

Mine also got stuck in the loop the harder he thought about what he had to say the more he stuttered.  The repeating the phrases and words was a thing mine did. say the same word all day long for 3 days cause he learned a new word. then came the phrases.

the always asking the same question is actually a 2 yr old phase but with my child who also had blocked earshe went through this at 4 instead of 2. and he still does it and his hearing most of it got repaired almost 2 yrs ago.(the asking questions a million times thing) mom what are you doing, where is this etc. Mine did outgrow most of what you are describing after the hearing got fixed. It is not completely fixed but fixed enough he can hear most of the time.

want10more
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:34 AM

agree w/ everyone here, sounds like a form of autism. i have a close pal w/ a autistic lil un, she does the same. at same age. other than that i have no experiece so i'll shut up now. but i'm sure glad ur seeing it n being concerned. u ain't crazy momma, nor is ur bitty lil un. but yeah, i think better testing would be a necessary first step. my only REAL advice? find someone on here w/ a baby ur baby's age, with autism. they'd surely have better info than i would.

Heatherkelly
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:38 PM

Every kid hums and sings while playing at his age. Nothing wrong with cleaning his mouth so much, he's just OCD about it. No worries, he'll probably outgrown that. Your son's speech will change and improve slowly with more speech therapy, trust me, I've been there. Asking the same questions a million times is perfectly NORMAL. Sounds like he is fine, nothing to worry about Mama! Sounds just like both of my kids. One has sensory issues, he is 5 1/2 and did #3 and #1 a lot when he was little, he outgrew both of them. Both him and my 3 1/2 year old, who is normal, ask the same questions over and over and over again, even though we give them the same answer and beg them to stop, they keep doing it. I think they do it to purposely annoy us.

My son also still puts toys in his mouth, chews his t-shirts, neck and sleeves, he loves to jump and run, and giggles. They giggling is really annoying, let me tell you. But, your son is fine sweety.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)