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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

how do you build confidence in special needs kids?

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:38 PM
  • 9 Replies

Willy is struggling with feeding out in public. He has been feeding himself at home with minimal assistance but out in public he needs maxim assistance or won't do it at all and if he feels someone is staring at him, for  example kids who stare or ask questions mostly to their parents, he will drop the spoon and won't feed himself at all! Talked it over with his OT today and she said it sounds like he has a confidence issue. Told me to praise him and reward him. I have been doing that. And sometimes he repeats the words good job or great job willy.  I just don't know how to help him feel confident enough do it out in public. He goes to the feeding clinic once a month. And they said to give it time and he will learn to ignore them. Except willy doesn't ignore people or how they make him feel. He is a lot like me that way. I am very self conscious and not a whole lot of confidence in myself either.

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:38 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:49 PM
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The only thing I can think of is finding him a friend with similar SNs.... And having them eat together out in public?

Or being really silly and making a mess with your food to show him that YOU don't care what people think?

I'm sorry he's having such a rough time with this! The world can be a cruel place :(
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lifeisajoy
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:53 PM

Sorry-my son has had for years --about standing -he will do it at home but not in public-we are still working on that-even for a couple minutes--I am not sure what he is thinking but he won't do it-


darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:40 AM

Hugs mama!  I'm sorry!

willysmama
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:03 AM



Quoting Elyssa414:

The only thing I can think of is finding him a friend with similar SNs.... And having them eat together out in public?

Or being really silly and making a mess with your food to show him that YOU don't care what people think?

I'm sorry he's having such a rough time with this! The world can be a cruel place :(


majority of his friends have feeding tubes. So that won't work. He has a friend with some delays and is an extremely messy eater but his mom works 17hr days and the nanny doesn't like going out on playdates or have other kids at the house.

I make a mess at lot just not so much in public. Hubby has more of the issue with messes than i do.

Thanks. The world is cruel

sammygrl77
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:32 AM
(((Hugs)))I am struggling with that with Brooke. I keep praising her, but she gets frustrated so easily still. I point out my own mistakes and I think it is helping a very teeny tiny bit.
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ItsMega_
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:59 PM

 I am so sorry you all are going through this.

My sons issue is speech. And alot of times he wont repeat himself or will say "I'm not telling you because you don't know what I'm talking about!"

It breaks my heart. They get so frustrated, and people can SUCK sometimes!

Bellum
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Try going right when they open, or other times when not a lot of people around, so he can get used to being out.  Maybe ask some friends with kids to eat at the same pace, same time, not the same table, and explain what is going on.  That way they won't stare, and can maybe say hi on the way out or something.  

want10more
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:49 AM

i would take him out w a group of trusted friends, and have him sit next to the wall, so he's kind of sheltered. have a quiet word w/ the waitress or manager, ask them to stop by your table and praise him. and it's hard to try to instill confidence in a child when you are not comfortable either. why not get a little therapy for yourself? when you're more confident, he'll be more able to follow your lead.

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 8:13 PM

Have you checked your local library for books about kids and self estemm? Im sure there are 10,000 books out there to read to your little guy to tell him he is one of kind, perfect for him, god made him special, theres only 1 of him and he is the best he can be! I wouldnt worry so much about the feeding as much as tackling the issue if his self esteem. Once you get his esteem built up a little, try to draw the parallel between him trying his best at feeding and his best is just GREAT! 

People may look, but maybe they are thinking.."wow, what a great job he is doing!" what a handsome guy he is! Look how cool his shirt is... Once we reframe in our heads why people are looking, the world seems like a much nicer place! Right? 

Maybe youll even pick up a thing of two from the library books. Hugs mom... There is only 1 of you too... And God made you special too! 

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